无敌破坏王 Wreck-It Ralph (2012)【完整台词】

What's going on

in this candy-coated heart of darkness?

Nothing.

- Talk!
- No.

- I'll lick you.
- You wouldn't.

Oh, yeah?

Oh! That's like sandpaper!

Mmm. Wonder how many
licks it will take

to get to your center.

I'll take it to my grave!

Fair enough.

Oh!

(EXCLAIMS) They call you
Sour Bill for a reason.

- Had enough yet?
- Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk!

Vanellope was a racer

until King Candy
tried to delete her code!

RALPH: Tried to delete her code?

So that's why she's a glitch!
Why is he doing this to her?

I don't know!

Suit yourself.

No, no, no! I swear I don't know!

He literally locked up our memories

and I cannot remember!

Nobody can!

But I do know this.

He'll do anything
to keep her from racing.

Because if she crosses the finish line,

the game will reset and
she won't be a glitch any more!

Where is she now?

In the fungeon with Fix-It Felix.

Felix?

I'm sorry! That's all I know, I swear!

Now, please, don't put me back
in your filthy mouth again! (SOBBING)

Stick around.

Yes, okay, I will. I will. Thank you!

Come on. I know you're out there.

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

Saccharine-saturated nightmare!

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

(GASPS) But... Where?

(SCREAMING)

(SCREECHING)

Doomsday and Armageddon
just had a baby and it is ugly!

Hello? Hello?

Somebody! Anybody! Please let me out!

What's he say?

(IMITATING RALPH)
I'm gonna wreck it!

(GROANS)

Why do I fix everything I touch?

Oh! (SOBS)

Barn!

- Felix!
- Ralph!

I'm so glad to see you!

Wait. No, I'm not. What do
you have to say for yourself!

Wait! I don't want to hear it.
I'm not talking to you!

Okay, don't talk. That's fine.

But you have to fix
this go-cart for me pronto.

I don't have to do boo!
Forgive my potty mouth.

I'm just so, so cross with you!

Do you have any idea
what you put me through?

I ran higgledy-piggledy
all over creation looking for you.

I almost drowned in chocolate milk-mix!

And then... I met the most dynamite gal.

Oh! She gives me the honey glow
something awful.

But she rebuffed my affections.

And then I got thrown in jail!

Felix, pull yourself together.

No! You don't know
what it's like to be rejected

and treated like a criminal!

Yes, I do. That's every day of my life.

It is?

Which is why I ran off
and tried to be a good guy, but I'm not!

I'm just a bad guy, and I need your help.

There's a little girl
whose only hope is this cart.

Please, Felix, fix it.

And I promise I will never try
to be good again.

(LOUD THUD)
- Huh?

I know, I know, I'm an idiot.

- And?
- And a real numskull.

- And?
- A selfish diaper baby.

And?

And...

A stinkbrain?

The stinkiest brain ever.

(FANFARE)

(CHEERING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

KING CANDY: (OVER PA)
My sweet subjects,

I can without a pinch
of hesitation assure you

that I have never been
so happy in all my life

to say the following words,

let the Random Roster Race
commence!

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(CARS WHOOSHING)

Okay, remember, you don't have to win.

Just cross that finish line,
and you'll be a real racer.

I'm already a real racer.

And I'm going to win.

(ENGINE ROARING)

(BEEPING)

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING)

- Whoa!
(SCREAMS)

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING)

(CHEERING)

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING)

Have some candy.

(LAUGHS)

Behind you!

In front of you!

Huh?

- It's The Glitch!
- The Glitch?

Light them up, Candlehead.

(LAUGHS)

ANNOUNCER:
What's this? Cherry bombs!

(GASPS)

I told you. You're just
an accident waiting to happen.

(RACERS LAUGHING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(VANELLOPE GRUNTING)

(SOBBING)

My candle!

All right. Gotta keep it under control.

No more glitching.

Okay, kid. Let's finish this thing

without any more surprises.

Ow!

Hope you're happy, junkpile.

This game is going down,
and it's all your fault.

My lady, you came back.

Can it, Fix-It!

That Cy-Bug you brought
with you multiplied.

No. It died in the taffy swamp.
Believe me, I...

(CROWD SCREAMING)

Bullroar.

(GUN POWERING UP)

Listen up, people. Head to
Game Central Station now!

Move it! Let's go! Let's go!

Go! Go! Go!

No!

(WHOOPING)

Huh?

Get off of my track!

Hey!

VANELLOPE: What, are you crazy!

I forbid you to cross that finish line!

Knock it off!

FELIX: Ralph, look!

RALPH: Kid!

Stop it!

I'm not letting you
undo all my hard work!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Is that...

No way!

What the... Who are you?

I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever!

And I did not reprogram
this world to let you

and that halitosis-riddled warthog

take it away from me!

(ENGINE REVVING)

Turbo-tastic.

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

End of the line, Glitch!

(GASPS) Glitch. That's it.

Come on, Vanellope.

I know you said you wouldn't do it again

but you're going to do it one more time.

Just focus and concentrate

and glitch!

(SHRIEKS IN SURPRISE)

(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)

Sweet mother of monkey milk! I did it!

No!

(SCREAMS)

Bring it home, kid!
The finish line is wide open!

(VANELLOPE GRUNTS)

No!

Kid! Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm fine. Let's finish this race!

Oh, my land.