So, what are you gonna
do for Heritage Day?
I saw some Irish dancing
over the weekend. Maybe I could do that.
You're gonna learn to step dance
between now and Heritage Day?
(SCOFFS) It didn't look that hard.
Well, everything's easy for you, isn't it?
What's wrong with you?
Are you mad about something?
I've known you a long time, Kyle.
You're a nice guy and all that,
but you'd be a better person
if everything hadn't always been
so easy for you.
Look at basketball, the last game.
You guys were out-played,
but you won because you got lucky.
The state championship
isn't supposed to be
something you just luck into.
Look, just because you know everything
does not mean
you know anything about basketball.
Lucky shot.
That wasn't luck.
That was practice. You know, hard work?
What do you mean, practice?
You don't even play basketball.
It was the perfect ending
for the worst day of my life.
Too bad it wasn't over yet.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Boo!
(BOOING)
-Come on! Get him outta the game!
-(GRUNTING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT) You can do it, boyo!
Come on, Kyle!
(CHEERLEADERS CHANTING)
Way to go, Drake!
No!
I'm open! I'm open!
(GRUNTING)
Take him out, Coach!
Aw, man!
(CROWD BOOING)
KYLE: It was like I never played before.
It was awful. I couldn't even make a shot.
And half the time,
I missed the rim completely.
I just...
-BOB: Everyone has an off night, Kyle.
-I never did before.
The important thing is your team won.
You're going to the finals!
Yeah, thanks to Drake!
He played a great game,
especially after Coach took me out.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
You don't need to be playing basketball.
You should be hurling!
Mom, I'm not sick, I just played lousy.
(SIGHS)
Are you sure you're feeling all right?
I might drink a bit
of a warm bonnyclabber before I go to bed.
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Do you smell something, Da? I mean, Dad.
BOB: It smells like something's burning.
Ah, boys. There's nothing like a peat fire
to put the taste of Eire
in your breakfast.
(COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
(COUGHS)
My dad says if we don't win tonight,
he's gonna adopt the other team.
Hey, you look shorter.
I think maybe I'm having a growth-spurt.
No, I'm just, uh,
packing on a little weight.
My mom's on this Irish kick.
We had spuds again... I mean, potatoes.
Hey, maybe that's why they blocked
so many of my shots last night.
-I wasn't getting enough vertical jump.
-You were moving okay. Like you always do.
So, you think everybody's gonna be
ticked at me 'cause I played so lousy?
Look, they're not gonna
turn on you over one game.
Besides, we're still going to the Finals.
Yeah.
-Just so pathetic.
-Loser.
You loser.
-Nice.
-Way to choke, Johnson.
BOY: Hey, watch me touch the rim!
Hey, looking good, girls.
Oh, look, there's Drake.
Hi, Drake. Great game.
Drake's so hot!
Well, he did play a great game.
-Hey, Kyle. I just wanna...
-I gotta go to class.
Sorry.
(BELL RINGING)
Can anyone tell me
what a magnet is? Holly!
A piece of iron that attracts
another piece of iron.
Good, but a magnet
doesn't just attract iron.
Man, one bad game,
and I feel like I'm nobody.
Kyle, since you feel like talking,
why don't you tell us what three kinds
of metal are attracted by a magnet?
Uh,
iron and...
Anyone? Russell?
-Iron, cobalt and nickel.
-Very good.
Iron, cobalt and nickel.
Now, take your magnet and one
of the metal objects in front of you.
If that object is attracted to the magnet,
then it must contain
either iron, cobalt or nickel.
(CLANKS)
I thought you said that was solid gold.
-It is.
-Magnets don't lie, man.
No, no. This is different.
This isn't my lucky coin.
Look, I've got to call my mom, all right?
I bet that coin was like
a family heirloom or something.
That's probably why
she wanted me to wear it.
No, that's probably why you had
such a bad game last night.
Somebody must have stolen it.
Oh, for the love of Mike!
-Kyle! Kyle, I need to talk to you.
-Look, I'm a little busy right now.
-He lost his lucky charm.
-What?
It's a gold coin.
It's probably, like, 100 years old.
-Got it.
-That's just a quarter.
-Does he look shorter to you?
-No. He just bulked up.
There's something wrong
with this stupid phone.
Look, Kyle, I have to go. I'm going
on a field trip with the Young Achievers,
And I just wanted to say,
I hope nothing I said yesterday
threw you off your game.
-You know, about you being lazy.
-Lazy? You never said I was lazy!
I mean, all that other stuff
about everything being too easy for you,
about not deserving to win
the state championship.
Whoa! Check out that hair!
Man, my dad won't let me dye mine.
He got this thing about Dennis Rodman.
Tonight's the state championship, man.
If you cut school without an excuse,
the coach might not let you play.
An excuse?
Okay, first I find out I've been robbed,
now my hair's turning red...
Hey, I used to be taller than you.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Saints preserve us! I am getting shorter!
Mom, Dad, there's something wrong...
There's something
your mother and I need to tell you, son.
I'm a leprechaun, Kyle.
Huh?
Mom?
I know it's hard to believe, Kyle.
I mean, when I first met your mother...
-You're not a leprechaun, too?
-No. No. I'm from Cleveland.
We'd have told you sooner, Kyle,
but we wanted you to grow up
like a normal American boy.
But then when I started to have
this wee little spell...
-Mom, you're a foot tall.
-Oh, it could be worse, believe me.
It's probably just an allergic reaction.
Boiled potatoes, something like that.
I don't think you have
any reason to worry.
What?
Me? You mean, I'm a leprechaun, too?
And what else would you be?
And you, with the blood of the Clan
O'Reilly rushin' about in your veins.
Doesn't mean you can't lead
a perfectly normal life, Kyle.
-Normal? Normal?
-Yes.
Dad, look at my hair.
And I'm getting shorter.
You don't look short to me.
-How does it look, Da?
-Maybe an inch... Or two.
Two inches? Dad, you said this was like
an allergic reaction or something.
(SIGHS)
-How long does it take to wear off?
-Well...
Actually, it's never happened before.
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
According to your mother,
as long as the O'Reillys have their luck,
every member of the clan can pass
as a normal human.
Ordinary size, all of that.
Of course, I'm not really sure
how it all works.
Well, okay, okay.
Well, maybe that's the trouble with Mom.
-I mean, maybe we're just out of luck.
-No. No. That can't be the problem.
Well, how do you know?
Your lucky coin.
That's the luck of the clan O'Reilly.
(FLUTE CONTINUES PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Mom. Mom. I lost my lucky coin.
What's this about losing your coin,
when it's hangin' about your very neck?
Look. It's not mine. It's fake.
Somebody must have switched it
with the real one.
(WHISPERING) The dirty thief!
It's nothin' but a bit of iron
and gold paint on it.
-Are you saying somebody stole your coin?
-I bet it was this really weird old guy
me and Russell talked to
at The Luck of the Irish,
You know, that Seamus McTiernan
dancing thing?
Yeah, I bet he was like
a pickpocket or something.
Wasn't that show at the fairgrounds?
You know you're not supposed to
go there without asking us.
Look, Dad. I just wanted
to learn about my heritage.
KATE: You can't blame him, Bobby,
and we not telling him the truth.
Now, what's this about an old man?
Gray in the hair, was he?
Yeah, I mean, he started walking up to us
and talking about his shoes.
Said he made them himself.
Was it a snake he had
on the sole of his shoe?
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