12条圣诞狗狗 The 12 Dogs of Christmas (2005)【完整台词】

HELLO!

ANYBODY?

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

HEY.

YOU'RE...

CATHY STEVENS.

OH, THE CRAZY DOG LADY.

[ WHISTLES ]

I'M SO SORRY.
REALLY, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST TO THINK
I LOST MY MARBLES.

HOWEVER, YOU ARE THE FIRST
TO BE DESPERATE TO MEET ME.

WELL, THEY PUT ME IN CHARGE OF
DOING THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM,

AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT MUSIC.

AND YOU WANT ME
TO PLAY THE PIANO.

YOU KNEW THAT?

MIKE -- HE MENTIONED IT,

BUT I'M JUST SORRY TO SAY
I CAN'T.

THIS IS A LOT MORE
THAN I BARGAINED FOR.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND?
OH, YEAH.

THANKS.

OOPS.

UP.

HI, PUPPIES.

YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY AMAZING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.

I MEAN, IT'S ADMIRABLE,
TRULY.

WHAT AM I DOING?

IT'S GETTING HARD
TO KEEP UP.

HUNGRY ORPHANS OUTNUMBER
DONATIONS BY A WIDE MARGIN.

I CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF EVEN
ONE OF THEM GOING HUNGRY.

I JUST WORRY I CAN'T FINISH
WHAT I STARTED.

YOU NEED HELP.

[ SCOFFS ] WELL, IN THIS TOWN,
NOT LIKELY.

I'LL MAKE A DEAL
WITH YOU.

YOU COME PLAY PIANO
FOR THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM,

AND ME AND THE KIDS WILL HELP
YOU FIND FOOD FOR THE DOGS

AND -- AND FEED THEM.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND HOW WILL YOU DO THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

UH, HAIL MARY PASS
IN THE END ZONE?

UH...

UM...WE NEED A MIRACLE,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

LOOK, YOU OBVIOUSLY
NEED HELP.

WE CERTAINLY NEED YOU.

LET ME THINK ABOUT IT,
OKAY?

OKAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, PUPPIES,
I'VE GOT YOU.

YOU'RE OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THAT AWFUL DOGCATCHER.

PHEW!

[ DOGS BARKING ]

YehTeh, hi.

How are you doing, girl?

How are you doing?

Hey. Hi.

I TOLD DELORES THAT HIRING
A GIRL WOULD BE STUPID.

BUT THEN I DISCOVERED
THAT THE GIRL

WAS THE DOG-LOVIN'
TROUBLEMAKING GIRL.

AND I THOUGHT,
"WELL, THAT WOULD BE GOOD

"TO HAVE HER
RIGHT HERE WITH ME

SO I COULD KEEP
MY EYE ON HER."

NOW, YOU REMEMBER THAT,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

YOU'RE NO BETTER
THAN ANOTHER STRAY DOG.

ALL RIGHT?
GET BACK TO WORK.

[ BARKS ]

STUPID MUTT.

OKAY, UH, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT
THE TEN LORDS A-LEAPING --

THAT'S YOU -- NEED TO KIND OF
DO AN END AROUND

AND CURL OVER
THE NINE LADIES DANCING --

THAT'S YOU.

SO GO AHEAD AND...

H-HOLD ON A SECOND.

OKAY.
COME DOWN THIS WAY.

YOU GIRLS, YOU GOT
TO KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN.

NO TACKLING, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, NOW, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE IT AGAIN

FROM THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS.

READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.

[ CHILDREN SING INDISTINCTLY ]

♪ ON THE TENTH DAY
OF CHRISTMAS, MY...

OH, YOU GUYS...
AH...H-HOLD ON.

[ PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]
♪ EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING ♪

♪ SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING,
SIX GEESE A-LAYING ♪

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS ♪

♪ G♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS ♪

♪ THREE FRENCH HENS ♪

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES ♪

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE
IN A PEAR TREE ♪

[ LAUGHS ]

Cullimore: THAT WAS GREAT!

NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE'VE BEEN
SAVED BY MIKEY'S MOM.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MRS. STEVENS.

Did you find Yehteh.
I found them both.

ARE THEY OKAY?
SHE DIDN'T LOOK SO GOOD.

WHAT? WE GOT TO GET HER
OUT OF THERE.

EMMA AND MIKE. COME ON,
YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE GAME.

You got to get her
out of there, fast.
I WILL.

PROMISE?
PROMISE.

Children: ♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS,
THREE FRENCH HENS ♪

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES ♪

♪ AND A PEAR HEAD
IN A SISSY TREE ♪

LEAVE HER ALONE!

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME.

COME ON, YOU GUYS.
KNOCK IT OFF.

I SAID, "KNOCK IT OFF"!

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING ]

STOP IT!
STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

SHAME ON ALL OF YOU.

TO THE OFFICE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL OF YOU
WILL GET CALLS FROM ME.

LET'S GO.

SEE, I TOLD YOU THE PIANO WOULD
MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

LOOK, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.

IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU
TO HELP US OUT LIKE THIS.

THANKS.
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

ANYTHING TO FEED THE DOGS.

YOU GOT THAT HAIL MARY
ALL WORKED OUT?

[ INDISTINCT TALKING,
DOGS BARKING ]

ALL RIGHT, KIDS,
LISTEN UP.

KIDS. KIDS!

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[Chuckling] ALL RIGHT,
SETTLE DOWN.

I GOT YOUR MATH ASSIGNMENT,
SO LISTEN UP.

REMEMBER HOW TO DO
STORY PROBLEMS? RIGHT?

YOU HAVE A BASKET WITH TEN
APPLES IN IT, YOU TAKE TWO OUT.

HOW MANY HAVE YOU GOT?
EIGHT.

EIGHT. RIGHT.

NOW JUST THINK "DOGS."
HOW MANY HAVE WE GOT, MIKEY?

OKAY, SO WE GOT
FOUR COCKER SPANIELS,

TEN DALMATIANS,
AND SIX CHIHUAHUAS.
UH-UH...

NO, SEVEN CHIHUAHUAS.

FIVE RETRIEVERS
AND SEVEN BOXERS,

SANTA'S REINDEER DOGS,

FIVE BASSET HOUNDS,
TWO BLACK LABS,

AND NINE LAB PUPPIES.

AND MAX.
ONE POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE.

YOU HAVE TO COUNT
YehTeh AND THE PUPPY

BECAUSE EMMA'S GONNA
GET 'EM BACK.

SO, ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY KIDS,
HOW MANY DOGS,

AND HOW MANY MEALS
FOR EACH OF US?

THERE ARE 28 PUPILS,

PLUS COACH CULLIMORE
AND MISS STEVENS.

THERE ARE 51 DOGS.

BUT YOU CAN'T COUNT
YOUR DOG OR THE PUPPY

UNTIL EMMA
ACTUALLY BRINGS THEM BACK.

IT'S NOT ALGEBRA.

EACH DOG EATS TWICE A DAY,

SO THAT MEANS EACH OF US MUST
PROVIDE 3 6/10 MEALS PER DAY.

DO YOU GUYS EVER DO
BACON GREASE DRIVES AROUND HERE?

UM...

WE USED TO GO HOUSE TO HOUSE

COLLECTING BACON GREASE,

ONCE A WEEK, TO SELL,
AND MAKE SOAP.

DOGS CAN'T LIVE
OFF BACON GREASE.

NO...BUT THEY LOVE
TABLE SCRAPS.

MAKES THEM THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE.

LOOK, THE SIGN SAYS THAT THERE'S
887 PEOPLE LIVING IN DOVERVILLE.

IF HALF THAT MANY
GIVE US SCRAPS, THAT'S --

444, ROUNDED UP.

THAT'S OPTIMISTIC.

BUT EVEN HALF THAT MANY.

223.

WELL, SCRAPS ARE
THROWN OUT ANYWAY.

WE USED TO GET A LOT
OF BACON GREASE.

THAT IS ONLY 7 1/2 HOUSES
PER PERSON PER WEEK.

HOW CAN YOU VISIT
HALF A HOUSE?

Cullimore: SO WHO WANTS
TO JOIN THE TEAM.

I DO!
I DO!
I DO!

MIKEY, I'LL PUT
YOU FIRST, OKAY?

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

STAY BACK,
STAY BACK.

Cathy:
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOG LOVERS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

STAY BACK.

A LITTLE EXTRA TIME,
MRS. STEVENS,

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.
[ CHUCKLES ]

AH...BUT, UH,
I CAN ASSURE YOU --