12号大屠杀 Massacre on Aisle 12(2016)【完整台词】

1

Santa you know, you keep staring,

you better give her a tip.

This ain't no free peep show.

Mother hey!

Santa you know what that means.

Santa course you can take

a picture with Santa

just go tell mom it's

gonna cost twenty bucks.

Tara

welcome to Mr. Beavers.

Shopper

idiot, watch where you're going.

Cashier

welcome to Mr. Beavers

welcome to Mr. Beavers

what?

Pictures with

Santa's over there.

Dave

oh, no. I'm Dave.

I'm starting tonight.

Are you asking me or

are you telling me?

I'm supposed to meet Jack.

Try the vending machines.

Okay.

Is it...

Female newscaster ho, ho, hold your

horse gift givers. There's still time

to buy presents with many

retailers staying open late

on Christmas Eve to cash

in on last minute shoppers.

Male newscaster speaking of cashing in,

police are looking for two men who

robbed an armored

car this afternoon.

Male newscaster police say these

men are armed and dangerous.

Anyone with information on the

so called Santa hat bandits

is urged to contact the

crime stoppers hotline.

Jack ahhhhhh!

Jack

ah! Ah!

Jack what do you want?

Pictures with Santa's out there.

Dave uh no, umm, I'm Dave.

I start work here tonight.

Oh, hey, Jack.

Sorry buddy.

Right.

I get a little, little upset

when I don't get my fritter.

Dave right.

And this machine...

Just like my ex.

Jack took my money and

didn't give me no pie.

Huh.

These things are gonna be

the death of me anyway.

You want something?

No I'm, I'm good thank you.

You're good? They make

you start on Christmas Eve

because shit fucker Mitch

bails on us and you're good?

Well the bills have been

pilling up right. What can I do?

Tell them go fuck

themselves man.

That's what I would have done.

Man fuck this place.

This place sucks.

Aren't you the

assistant manager?

Oh yeah man, I am.

But I'm just here for the money.

I come here every day,

every single day.

Ready to blow my

fucking brains out.

I even got a special bullet

picked out just for the job.

Hollow point.

I'm just messin' with you man.

Over here's Tara.

Yo' Tara...

Jack Tara...

What?

This is Dave.

The new guy.

We already met,

in a near glorious moment

at this very register.

Don't be a bitch Tera.

It's his first night.

Save it till we're

sure he's staying,

then do the queen

super bitch thing.

Whatever.

Dave what are you reading.

Oh, it's really good.

It's called, um,

none of your fucking business

by leave me the fuck alone.

Ever heard of it?

I stopped going to school

like after two years. I mean

I want to be an actress so what

good is like math and science

and Greek theater anyway?

You know?

And then I got diagnosed

with anxiety disorder so

I had to start taking

Xanax, like, a lot. And

that kept me from

going back to school.

Jack she can't help it,

being a bitch and all.

She's got like some

chick disease in her 'wawa'

Jack takes pills and shit.

Dave I'm sorry did you say a

chick disease in her wawa?

What does that mean?

Totes don't know

bro, just what I heard.

Hmm. I mean I fucked

her and I'm alright.

Oh, do you guys

have health insurance?

Because my script

kind of ran out and,

I would totally blow someone

for a Xanax right now.

Okay.

Jack no. No, no, no. No cell

phones allowed in the store man.

Boss man will take that

from you lickity split

if he finds you with it.

Seriously?

We had uh, an incident

here, not too long ago.

We call it the uh, "great

Mr. Beavers iPhone fuck up"

basically it involved

somebody, won't name names,

takin' a shit in a

display toilet,

snap a cell phone picture.

Bamm! Instagram, Twitter,

hashtag Mr. Beaver's

display toilet hell.

Went viral; Got

like a million hits.

Anyway, corporate found out,

they yanked our cell phones.

That's... that's horrible.

I know right. What

right does that give them to

yank our cell phone privileges

fucking fascist man.

What no, no, no. Someone

actually took a shit,

in this display toilet.

Dude, yeah that happens

like three times a week.

No seriously, little kids,

the homeless, elderly people.

I've even dropped a

deuce in it before.

You take a shit in the store?