I've got two styles--
short back and sides,
and back and sides.
I start at the crown,
and work outwards methodically.
I like
a calm working environment.
Every barber has his quirk...
well, except me.
I've not got any.
Don't see the point, really.
Head down...
get on with it.
That's me.
I prefer it
when they don't speak.
I cannae be bothered
speaking to them either.
I like the quiet.
So what makes a legend,
do you think?
Heroism?
Well, that rules me out.
Self-sacrifice?
Not your man.
Nobility of purpose?
Can't help you there, either.
My life's always been boring.
I don't mind that.
There's a place
for being boring.
Cuttin' hair is boring.
Sittin' at home is boring.
That was all right.
I was a boring kind of guy.
If you'd asked me back then,
I'd have said I was content.
Smilin' in the corner,
the rain
runnin' down my neck.
Then fate decided
to leap on my back,
and I turned round and saw
that I'd been nothing
all these years
but a howling ghost.
From nowhere, I was alive.
I'd never had to
deal with the law before.
Only had to look at a police
and I shatted.
But circumstances changed...
and, suddenly, I had my very own
one-to-one copper
breathing down my neck.
Everywhere I turned,
there he was--
this big slab of bastard
staring right back.
Yeah, I was alive, all right,
but for how long?
I'm Barney Thomson,
and this is the story
of what happens
when you move chairs.
...I'm telling ye.
He's not
in the Lynch league yet.
77 wins, and I'm talkin'
the pre-nutrition years.
14 knockouts on a diet
of Irn Bru and dogfood.
Comics by the door, Charlie.
Thanks, Barney.
Sweetheart.
What you talkin' about?
Don't believe that.
She's a fuckin' liar.
I wasn't at Karen's.
I had to go the hospital.
A shadow on my lung.
Nah, nah. It's fine.
They gave me tablets.
What are we doin' tonight?
Maybe you can
come by again,
and I could gie ye
another "Maryhill Moothfae"--
Oh! That's fuckin'
disgusting.
All right, Darling.
See you in a bit. Bye.
Right, up you come.
Doesn't even make sense.
Barney...
can I have a wee chat?
Aye.
All this chatter
must be bothering ye, eh?
What?
Well, the boxing chat.
Is it bothering ye?
Och.
I think you might be, uh...
might be happier up here.
- What, there?
- Aye.
Let me get this straight.
I was in the windae
for eight years,
then I was in the second chair,
then the third.
Now you want me
oot by the bins?
I mean, that--
that's not even
a fuckin' barber's chair!
Fuck!
You have nae patter, Barney.
Nae sparkle.
You hang over the customers
like a shitty cloud.
Scaring 'em away,
standing there
like a big streak of piss.
It's like
you've had a charisma bypass.
You look like a haunted tree.
That's all I'm saying.
Well, your dad brought me
into this shop 20 years ago.
I'd like to hear
what he has to say about this.
Eh?
Right.
Let's get my da on the phone.
I'm a fuckin'...
haunted tree?
Shitty cloud...
Big streak of piss...
He's standing there
like a haunted tree.
Nae patter.
All right, who's next?
I'm gonna wait
for Chris, thanks.
Yourself?
What about you?
I'm just waitin' for Wullie,
if that's all right.
That's, uh... that's fine.
Actually, no.
It isnae bloody all right. No.
Not one of you want to get
your hair cut by me?
Am I--
Am I that bad?
What you want to wait
for these two for?
It's half-past three already.
You'll no all get seen!
Are you mental?
Come on, Barney.
That's out of order.
What is this?
Some kind of conspiracy?
First, you bump me
intae the back of beyond,
- then you tell this bunch of--
- Wankers?
to-- to refuse
my services?
Is that it?
Ye cannae have a go
at the customers.
Ah! Fuck this, Wullie.
Fuck this!
What's the point
of me even fucking being here?
Fuck it!
Fuck!
Never a dull moment, eh?
The lab results came back, sir.
They're negative.
Brilliant.
What are you
gonna tell the public?
The public can fuck off.
To date, there have been
five victims
from the Glasgow area
and you haven't been
able to make a connection
between any of them.
You don't
even know where the bodies are,
except the bits the killer
sent to the next of kin.
This case
should be given to someone
with more local knowledge.
What
exactly are you doing all day?
Late last night...
officers from this station
came into possession
of a valuable
piece of evidence...
the exact nature of which
I am not at liberty
to divulge.
So what's this
new piece of evidence, sir?
Nothing. I lied.
Which is why
I'm in the shape of a frog.
The Superintendent
wants to see you.
Of course he does.
What are you playing at, 127?
If you walk into
a room backwards,
with your trousers
round your ankles,
don't be surprised
if you get bummed rotten.
And never, never drag the force
in with you.
I'll not have my team
mass-bummed
on your say-so!
Is that clear?
Don't interrupt me.
You've got the whole country
thinking we've just about
got this thing wrapped up
when, as far as I can see,
in the two months--
two fucking months
you've been on this case--
you've managed to narrow
your list of suspects down to
"People in the Glasgow area
who've been to the seaside
in the last 12 weeks."
The killer will
think we're onto 'im,
and might make
a mistake, sir.
He'd fucking well better.
Fucking McManaman.
He's got to fill
his day up somehow.
I mean, his in-tray
consists of
staring out the window
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《巴尼·汤姆森传奇》由苏格兰男演员罗伯特·卡莱尔主演,这部影片也是卡莱尔的导演处女作。影片讲述了主人公汤姆森在苏格兰最大城市格拉斯哥一家理发店工作期间因争执失手杀死老板,并向自己滑稽且性格暴烈的母亲求助,随后陷入一系列误杀事件。母亲一角由奥斯卡影后、英国女演员埃玛·汤普森扮演,她在剧中浓妆艳抹且说话操着格拉斯哥口音,令人印象深刻。
导演: 罗伯特·卡莱尔
编剧: 理查德·考恩 / 道格拉斯·林赛 / 柯林·迈凯轮
主演: 罗伯特·卡莱尔 / 艾玛·汤普森 / 詹姆斯·卡沙莫 / 雷·温斯顿 / 阿什利·詹森 / 马丁·康普斯顿 / 汤姆·康特奈 / 凯文·格思里 / 塞缪尔·罗伯森 / 斯特芬·马克尔 / 布赖恩·佩蒂福 / 芬利·威尔士 / 大卫·斯皮德 / 詹姆斯·凯西 / 戴维·麦克高文
类型: 喜剧 / 犯罪
制片国家/地区: 英国 / 加拿大 Canada / 美国
语言: 英语
上映日期: 2015-06-17(爱丁堡电影节) / 2015-07-24(英国)
片长: 96分钟
又名: 疯狂杀手理发师(台) / The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson
巴尼·汤姆森传奇 The Legend of Barney Thomson(2015) 全部台词 (当前第1页,一共 10 页)
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