安妮·霍尔 Annie Hall (1977)【完整台词】

- He's my food taster. Have you two met?
- How do you do?

- Do you taste for poisoned food?
- Yeah, he's great.

You guys are wearing white.
It must be in the stars.

- Uri Geller must be on the premises.
- We're going to operate together.

In about six weeks
we could cut the whole album.

I don't know.
This is strange to me.

You can stay here.
Use the whole wing in this house.

- Stay here?
- Really. Why are you smiling?

Not only is he a great agent,
but he really gives good leading.

This is a great house: saunas,
Jacuzzis, three tennis courts.

You know who the original owners were?
Nelson Eddy then Legs Diamond.

- Then you know who lived here?
- Trigger.

Charlie Chaplin,
right before his un-American thing.

- But you guys are still New Yorkers.
- Yeah, I love it there.

I used to live there for years,
but it's so dirty now.

- I'm into garbage. It's my thing.
- This is a nice screening room.

There's another thing about New York.

If you want to see a movie,
you have to stand on line.

It could be freezing or raining.
And here...

We saw Grand Illusion here last night.

That's a great film if you're high.
It's really funny.

Come and see our bedroom.
We did a fantastic thing up there.

I'm cool.

It's wonderful.
They eat and watch movies all day.

And gradually you get old and die. It's
important to make an effort sometimes.

- Do you think his girlfriend's pretty?
- She's great looking.

A little on the androgynous side.

I forgot my mantra.

That was fun.

I don't think California
is bad at all.

It's a drag coming home.

A lot of beautiful women.
It was fun to flirt.

I have to face facts.

I adore Alvy, but our relationship
doesn't seem to work anymore.

I'll have the usual trouble
with Annie in bed tonight.

Why do I need this?

If only I had the nerve to break up,
but it would really hurt him.

If only I didn't feel guilty
asking Annie to move out.

It'd probably wreck her,
but I should be honest.

Alvy, let's face it.

I don't think our relationship
is working.

I know. A relationship
is like a shark:

It has to constantly
move forward or it dies.

And I think what we've got
on our hands is a dead shark.

- Whose Catcher in the Rye is this?
- If it has my name on it...

I guess it's mine.

You wrote your name in all my books,
'cause you knew this day would come.

You wanted to break up
just as much as I do.

No question. I think
we're doing the mature thing.

Look. All the books
on death and dying are yours.

And all the poetry books are mine.

Denial of Death.
This is the first book I got you.

Remember that day?

I feel like there's
a great weight off my back.

Thanks, honey.

I mean, no. I think it's important
for us to explore new relationships.

There's no question about that, because
we've given this a more than fair shot.

My analyst thinks this move
is key for me.

And I trust her,
because my analyst recommended her.

Why should I put you through
all my moods and hang-ups anyway?

You know what the beauty part is?
We can always come back together again.

- There's no problem.
- Exactly.

I don't think many couples could handle
this, break up and remain friends.

This button is mine.
Remember?

These are yours. "Impeach Eisenhower."
"Impeach Nixon."

"Impeach Lyndon Johnson."
"Impeach Ronald Reagan."

I miss Annie.
I made a terrible mistake.

She's living in Los Angeles
with Tony Lacey.

If she is, then the hell with her. If
she likes that lifestyle, let her stay.

- He's a jerk for one thing.
- He graduated Harvard.

Harvard makes mistakes, too.
Kissinger taught there.

Don't tell me you're jealous?

Yeah. Jealous? A little bit.
Like Medea.

Can I show you something?
I found this in the apartment.

Black soap. She used to wash her face
800 times a day with black soap.

Don't ask me why.

Why don't you go out with other women?

I tried,
but it's very depressing.

This always happens to me.
Quick! Get a broom!

What are you making
such a big deal about?

They're only lobsters.

- You're adult. You can pick up lobsters.
- I'm not myself since I quit smoking.

- When did you quit?
- Sixteen years ago.

- What do you mean?
- Mean?

You stopped smoking 16 years ago.
Is that what you said?

I don't understand.

Are you joking or what?

Central Park's turning green.

I saw that lunatic we used to see
with the pinwheel hat...

and the roller-skates.

Listen, I want you to come back here.

Well, then I'm going to come out there
and get you.

What do you mean, where am I?
Where do you think I am?

I'm at the Los Angeles airport.
I flew in.

I flew in to see you.

Can we not debate this
on the telephone...

because I've got a temperature...

and I'm getting my chronic
Los Angeles nausea again.

Wherever you want to meet.
I don't care.

I'll drive in.
I rented a car.

I'm driving.

What, is that such a miracle?
I'm driving myself.

I'm going to have the alfalfa sprouts...

and a plate of mashed yeast.

You look pretty.

No, I just lost a little weight,
that's all.

Well, you look nice.

I think we should get married.

Come on.

Why, you want to live out here?
It's like living in Munchkinland.

What do you mean?
It's perfectly fine out here.

Tony's very nice.

I meet people, go to parties
and play tennis.

That's a very big step for me.

I'm able to enjoy people more.

You're not going to come back
to New York?

What's so great about New York? It's a
dying city. You read Death in Venice.

You didn't read Death in Venice
until I bought it for you.

That's right. You only gave me books
with the word "death" in the title.

Because it's an important issue.

You're incapable of enjoying life.
You know that?

You're like New York City.
You're just this person.

You're like this island unto yourself.

I can't enjoy anything
unless everybody is.

If one guy is starving someplace,
it puts a crimp in my evening.

Do you want to get married?

No. We're friends.

I want to remain friends.

Check please.

You're mad, aren't you?

Yes, of course I'm mad,
because you love me. I know that.

I can't say that that's true
at this point in my life.

I really can't say that's true.

You know how wonderful you are.

You're the reason I got out of my room,
that I was able to sing...

and get more in touch with my feelings
and all that crap.

Listen, listen.

So what are you up to?

The usual. I'm trying to write.
I'm working on a play.

Are you saying you're not coming back
to New York with me?

No. Look.
I gotta go.

What do you mean?
I flew 3,000 miles to see you.

Air miles. Do you know
what that does to my stomach?

If you must know,
it's a hectic time for Tony.

- The Grammys are tonight.
- The what?

The Grammys. He's got a lot
of records up for awards.

They give awards for that music?
I thought just ear plugs.

Just forget it. Let's just
forget the conversation.

They do nothing but give out awards.
I can't believe it.

Greatest Fascist Dictator:
Adolph Hitler.

I know what you're going to say.
I'm not a great driver.

- I have some problems with...
- May I see your license, please?

Just don't get angry.

I have my license here.
It's a rented car.

Don't give me your life's story.

Just pick up the license.

You have to ask nicely, because
I've had a rough day. My girlfriend...

Just give me the license, please.

Since you put it that way,
it's hard for me to refuse.

I have a terrific problem
with authority.

It's not your fault.
Don't take it personal.

So long, fellows.
Keep in touch.

Imagine my surprise
when I got your call.

Yeah. I had the feeling
I got you at a bad moment.

I heard high-pitched squealing.

Twins, Max.

Sixteen-year-olds.

Can you imagine the mathematical
possibilities of that?

You're an actor. You should be doing
Shakespeare in the park.

I did Shakespeare in the park.
I got mugged.

I was playing Richard II. Two guys
with leather jackets stole my leotard.

Are we driving through plutonium?

Keeps out the alpha rays.
You don't get old.

You're a thinking person.
How can you choose this lifestyle?

What is so great about New York?

It's a dying city.
You read Death in Venice.

You didn't read Death in Venice
until I gave it to you.

You only give me books
with the word "death" in the title.

- It's an important issue.
- You're incapable of enjoying life.

You're like New York.
You're an island.