安妮·霍尔 Annie Hall (1977)【完整台词】

Seems like

Old times

Having you

To walk with

Seems like

Old times

Having you to walk with

And it's still a thrill

Just to have my arms

Around you

Still the thrill

That it was the day

I found you

Seems like

Old times

Dinner dates and flowers

Old times

Staying up all hours

Making dreams come true

Doing things we used

To do

Seems like

Old times

Here with

You

Thank you.

You were sensational.

I told you if you stuck to it,
you would be great and...

You were sensational.

Yeah, they were a terrific audience.

It makes it easy for me,
because I can be...

Excuse me.
Hi, I'm Tony Lacey.

- We wanted to say we enjoyed your set.
- Yeah? Really?

I thought it was very musical.
I liked it a lot.

That's really nice.
Thanks a lot.

Are you recording?
Are you with any label?

Me? No, not at all.

I'd like to talk to you about that
sometime if you get a chance.

Possibly working together.

That's nice. This is Alvy Singer.
Do you know Alvy?

I don't, but I know your work.
I'm a big fan of yours.

This is Shawn, Bob and Petronia.

We're going back to the Pierre...

and we're going to meet
Jack and Angelica for a drink.

If you'd like to come,
we'd love to have you.

We can sit and talk.
Not a big deal.

Just relax, be very mellow.

Remember we had that thing?

What thing?

Remember we discussed that thing?

Oh, the thing!
Oh, the thing. Yeah.

Well, if it's inconvenient,
that's fine, too.

We'll do it another time. If you're on
the coast, we'll get together there.

It was a wonderful set.
I really enjoyed it.

Nice to have met you.
Good night.

What's the matter?
You want to go to that party?

I don't know.
I thought it might be fun.

It would be nice to meet
some new people.

I don't think I could take a mellow
evening. I don't respond well to mellow.

If I get too mellow,
I ripen and rot.

- It's not good for my...
- All right.

You don't want to go to the party.
What do you want to do?

That day in Brooklyn was the last day
I remember having a good time.

- We never have any laughs anymore.
- I've been moody and dissatisfied.

- How often do you sleep together?
- Do you have sex often?

Hardly ever.
Maybe three times a week.

Constantly. I'd say three times a week.
Like the other night, Alvy wanted sex.

She would not sleep with me
the other night.

I don't know. Six months ago I would
have done it just to please him.

I tried everything.

I put on soft music
and my red light bulb.

Since our discussions here, I feel
I have a right to my own feelings.

I think you would have been happy,
because I really asserted myself.

The incredible thing is,
I'm paying for her analysis...

she's making progress,
and I'm getting screwed.

I feel so guilty,
because Alvy is paying for it.

So I feel guilty
if I don't sleep with him.

But if I do sleep with him, it's like
I'm going against my own feelings.

- I'm not making any progress.
- I can't win.

Sometimes I think
I should live with a woman.

I don't believe it.
You guys have never snorted coke?

I always wanted to try,
but Alvy's very down on it.

Don't put it on me. I don't want to put
a wad of white powder in my nose.

There's the nasal membrane.

- You never want to try anything new.
- How can you say that?

I said you, I and that girl
from acting class should sleep together.

- That's sick.
- I know it's sick, but it's new.

- You didn't say it couldn't be sick.
- Come on, Alvy.

- Do your body a favor. Try it.
- It'll be fun.

I'm sure it's fun, 'cause the Incas
did it. They were a million laughs.

For your own experience.
You want to write. Why not?

It's great stuff, Alvy. A friend
just brought it in from California.

I didn't tell you.
We're going to California next week.

It's really a thrill, as you know.

On my agent's advice, I sold out
and am going to do a TV appearance.

That's not it at all.
Alvy's giving an award on TV.

You act like you're violating
a moral issue.

It's so phony. We have to leave New York
during Christmas. It kills me.

Listen, while you're in California,
could you score some coke for me?

Sure, be glad to. I'll just put it
in the hollow heel on my boot.

- How much is this stuff?
- About $2,000 an ounce.

Really?
And what is the kick of it?

I've never been so relaxed
as I have been since I moved out here.

I want you to see my house.
I live next to Hugh Hefner.

And the women are like in Playboy,
but they can move their arms and legs.

I can't get over that
this is really Beverly Hills.

The architecture is really consistent.
There's French next to Spanish...

next to Tudor next to Japanese.

It's so clean out here.

Because they don't throw garbage away.
They make it into TV shows.

- Give us a break. It's Christmas.
- Can you believe this is Christmas?

It was snowing and really gray
in New York.

Nice. Santa Claus
will have sun stroke.

Max, there's no crime,
there's no mugging.

There's no economic crime...

but there's ritual,
religious cult murders.

There's wheat-germ
killers out here.

While you're out here,
I want you to see my TV show.

And we're invited
to a big Christmas party.

Charlie, give me a good laugh here.

A little bigger.

Do you realize how immoral
this all is?

I've got a hit series.

But you're adding fake laughs.

Give me a tremendous laugh here.

We do the show live
in front of an audience.

But nobody laughs,
because the jokes aren't funny.

That's why this machine is dynamite.

Give me a medium chuckle here...

and then a big hand.

Is there booing on that?

I don't feel well.

- What's the matter?
- I got very dizzy.

- I feel dizzy.
- Sit down.

Jesus.

You all right?
You want to lie down?

No. My stomach felt
queasy all morning.

How about a ginger ale?

No.
Maybe I'd better lie down.

Try to get some of this down.
It's just plain chicken.

No, I can't eat this.
I'm nauseous.

If you could get me something
to get me through the next two hours.

I have to go to Burbank
and give out an award on a TV show.

There's nothing wrong with you
as far as I can tell.

You have no fever,
no symptoms of anything serious.

- You haven't eaten pork or shellfish.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry, Doctor.

Alvy, that was the show. Everything
is fine. They found a replacement.

They're going to tape without you.

Jesus!
Now I don't get to do the TV show?

- I can't find any reason for this.
- Nothing at all?

- I could get a lab man up here.
- Hand me the salt, please.

Perhaps it would be better
if we took him to the hospital.

The hospital?

- There's no other way to diagnose him.
- This is not bad, actually.

Don't tell me we're going to have
to walk from the car to the house?

My feet haven't touched pavement
since I reached Los Angeles.

I'll take a meeting with you
if you'll take a meeting with Freddy.

I took a meeting with Freddy.
Freddy took a meeting with Charlie.

- You take a meeting with him.
- All the good meetings are taken.

Right now it's only a notion.

I think I can get money to make it into
a concept, then turn it into an idea.

Like this house, Max?

Even wrote a road map
to get us to the bathroom.

You should have told me
it was Tony Lacey's party.

What difference does that make?

I think he has a thing for Annie.

- No. He goes with that girl over there.
- Where?

- The one with the VPL.
- VPL?

Visible panty line.
She's gorgeous.

She's a ten. That's great for you,
'cause you're used to two's, aren't you?

There are no two's.

You're used to the kind with shopping
bags walking through Central Park...

with the surgical masks on,
muttering.

How do you like this couple? They look
like they're from Masters and Johnson.

Intensive care ward.
My God!

- I think she's giving me the eye.
- If she comes over, my brain will mush.

You're Alvy Singer, right?
Didn't we meet at EST?

No, I was never to EST.

- Then how can you criticize it?
- He didn't say anything.

I came to get some shock therapy,
but there was an energy crisis.