the system, up with the syndrome!
LAUGHTER
Have a walk around, Jon.
See what you think.
Well, I was going to go and check
the boxes for dust.
Look at that.
Look.
What am I looking at there?
That was on the box.
Wow. Well, you've obviously got
to choose that then, haven't you?
That's clearly an indication.
Absolutely.
I'm the only person who has come
dressed as a box, which is unfair.
OK, Holly,
are you going to open box 21?
She's barely got the strength.
CHEERING
The big, big number went,
but so did the penny.
PHONE RINGS
Banker, tell us what's going on.
Catwoman(?)
It was an extraordinary...
LAUGHTER
The banker said that his assistant
did very well last time.
Joe Wilkinson is coming back,
everyone.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
(JOE) Thank you.
So, last time you came,
you gave us an offer of 7,800.
Yep.
I mean, have you got the authority
to make an offer here?
Have I?
Er...
What would you offer now,
looking at that board?
Shit!
LAUGHTER
We've still got three big reds.
I've got about 1.50 on me,
but I really fancy getting
a KitKat, so about...
I can only go up to 80p,
if I'm honest.
LAUGHTER
Cos I want to get a KitKat.
I want to get a four-finger.
LAUGHTER
All right,
I'll get a two-finger one, 1.20.
Fucking hell!
Come on, serious offer...
1 million!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1 million!
PHONE RINGS
Deal or no deal?!
It's the banker.
He wants to see you in his office.
Oh, piss!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
OK, you're working on your own
from here on in, fair enough.
He's going to be
incredibly generous.
Just because he thinks that
Jon Richardson is a force
to be reckoned with.
The offer is still 7,800.
Oh!
APPLAUSE
So you lost
the quarter of a million,
but he thinks the 1p balanced it.
7,800.
Do you know what's pathetic? Even
though I know that was all a joke,
that compliment
really cheered me up!
Really.
You see, I am naturally pessimistic,
and I would probably deal now.
An optimist would tell you that,
you know, while you've still got
a big number, you've got more
chance of hitting blues,
but a realist would say you're
taking a pounding, take the money.
Yeah, that really sounds like a force
to be reckoned with, doesn't it(?)
LAUGHTER
Someone I wouldn't want
to mess with(!)
Shall we do a sweep?
Shall we say what people think?
I'd love to do a sweep.
This place is dusty.
Gemma, what do you think?
What would you do in this situation?
Would you deal or no deal?
I'd deal.
You'd deal for 7,800?
Does that mean you can get
the money off the banker?
I don't think Gemma
has ever watched the show.
She thinks this is Take Me Out.
LAUGHTER
OK, Mark, what would you go for?
No deal.
Nicola, what would you go for?
No deal.
Stephen?
No deal.
- Nick?- No deal.
- Mia?- No deal.
Nick, are you all right?
We've got 11 boxes left!
LAUGHTER
We're halfway through
the fucking game!
Apologies. Rob?
No deal.
No deal. Andy?
No deal.
No deal.
No deal.
- Elis? - Deal.
Corinne, you're saying no deal.
No deal. Thing is, if you want
to win big, you've got to risk it.
Let's just take a look at
the no deal that Corinne made
last time she was on this show.
She was offered 88,000
and she didn't deal.
What I'm now going to do is either
make your dream come true...
..or not.
Yes.
I hope this is the dream.
GROANING
The penny?
APPLAUSE
You turned down 88,000
and you won a penny,
that I believe
you've got round your neck.
Yes. The reason I turned it down
was I wanted the money
to buy a vintage Bentley.
Of course.
Which would have cost me 200 grand.
So 88 grand wouldn't have bought
what I wanted.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I know it sounds dreadful, but...
That's exactly what we want.
I want to get a charity
a vintage Bentley.
And we're not going to do that
for 7,800.
Let's just quickly do this side.
So, deal or no deal?
No deal.
No deal.
- No deal. - No deal.
- No deal. - No deal.
- No deal.
I don't know.
LAUGHTER
Do you have any idea
what's going on, Tony?
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