Previously on Desperate Housewives.
Carlos' niece arrived.
We want you to be part of this family.
But you will obey our rules.
Lynette and Tom got big news.
- We're going to have another baby.
- Twins.
You'd actually send your wife to prison? My wife? No.
My ex-wife? You bet.
Orson resorted to blackmail.
I think you're the most fascinating woman that I have ever met.
And Karl made his move.
Katherine's marriage to Mike That woman I was with, tell her I had to go.
It's an emergency.
was put on hold.
You guys are in danger.
Get out of that car, get away from Dave.
And when the dust settled, wedding bells were ringing for someone.
The veil was made from the finest silk.
The garter was trimmed with handmade lace.
The shoes were designed by the top couturier in Milan.
You see, the bride wanted only the best for her wedding day because she was about to marry the best man in the world for the second time.
- How do you feel? - Like the worst person in the world.
Don't do this to yourself.
Katherine is never going to forgive me for this.
Mom, this is your day.
You and Mike were meant to be together.
Wish me luck.
Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Yes, the bride wanted the best wedding money could buy, but as she left the altar, it suddenly occurred to her Sorry I'm late.
Did I miss anything? she should have spent more on security.
It's not hard to find sin in the suburbs.
Just look behind closed doors.
That's where you'll find your neighbors cheating on their taxes.
And drinking too much vodka.
And stealing their fathers' magazines.
Yes, the suburbs are filled with sinners, some of whom occasionally repent.
We can't do this.
It's adultery.
Luckily, we're both adults.
Stop! I'm married.
Yes, to a man who's blackmailing you.
Don't you think making love to your divorce lawyer would be a nifty way to get back at him? - Karl, no.
No.
No.
- What now? If I'm going to break a commandment, I don't want it to be for a quickie on this couch.
Who said quickie? I've got 40 minutes before my 10:00.
And thou shalt get sweaty.
I want to do this, I do, but not here.
I need to feel special.
But you are special.
Are you saying you've never made love to another woman on this couch? Not a special woman.
Okay, okay.
I get it, I get it.
I want this to be nice for you.
I'll find us a hotel.
Call me later when you've set something up.
Done.
And just so we're clear, this visit was not billable.
Morning.
I'm late for school, I don't have time for breakfast.
- At least take a muffin.
- Thank you, Uncle Carlos.
- Kind of warm for a sweatshirt, isn't it? - Oh, it gets really cold in the classroom.
Mmm.
Stop.
- Lift it up.
- Gabby! Girls who spend an hour on makeup do not wear baggy sweatshirts.
Lift it.
Well, that ought to heat up the classroom.
Go and change.
Gabby, what is your problem? All the girls in my class dress like this.
That's why your school nurse is an obstetrician.
Wear something else.
Fine.
I'll borrow one of your tops.
It might be exciting for it to go someplace besides the supermarket.
- Snap! - Hey.
You, I can hit.
Do you see what I have to put up with? It was just a shirt.
Yeah? And when she came home past curfew, it was just 40 minutes.
And when she took money from my purse, it was just $5.
Why do you always make excuses for her? She's had a sad life.
Her mom's in jail, her dad walked out.
Yeah, yeah.
She's one dead dog away from a country song.
I don't care.
Well, maybe she would calm down if she felt a little more secure here.
- I'm not signing those papers.
- We need to be her legal guardians.
And look after her for the next two years? No.
Until I see a change in her behavior, I'm keeping all my options open.
- Is this better? - Yes, very nice.
Thank you.
Stop.
Mmm.
What do I smell? Despair, mortality, paralyzing fear.
Oh.
I thought it was waffles.
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