??? it happens in every marriage.
couples accumulate lovely things- things that make a house a home.
but when the home is broken, these things must be divided.
the most dignified way to do this is for each spouse to keep what is most important to them.
and bree and orson hodge were nothing if not dignified i assume you'll want the pewter cat.
that was my gift to you.
you adored it, as i recall.
that's why i'm giving you the choice.
and what about that hummel from your aunt? it's ugly as sin, but she insists that it's valuable.
you keep it.
keep everything.
there's only one thing in this house that i want.
i know, but i'm the one thing you can't have.
please, you have to forgive me.
orson, every wife understands that her husband will make a few mistakes- a forgotten anniversary, the occasional harsh word, but we all have to draw the line somewhere, and i'm drawing mine at the attempted murder of my best friend's husband.
bree, if i could open up my heart and show you how sorry i am, i would, but i can't.
there must be something else i could do.
there is one thing.
name it.
turn yourself in to the police.
but the statute of limitations hasn't run out.
they would arrest me.
and you'd probably go to prison.
yes, i could go away for years.
exactly, and if you could muster that kind of moral courage, i think i could forgive you.
oh, come on.
i promise i'll wait for you.
bree i can't go to prison.
very well.
so do you want the cat or not? in any separation, it's only fair that each spouse get to keep what is most important to them.
that's how bree hodge got to keep her pewter cat and orson hodge got to hold on to his freedom.
±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ; ¾ø Íû Ö÷ ¸¾ µÚËļ¾ µÚ14¼¯ ·Ò룺 У Ô£º ʱ¼äÖ᣺¬ ±ó Southwing the suburbs are flush with a certain kind of fool.
you know the type- the man who opens his door to total strangers the woman who never uses her latch.
it never occurs to them that letting someone into their home means letting them into their lives.
hi.
i'm ellie.
i understand you got a room to rent.
yeah, come on in.
so because of my husband's disability, our financial situation has changed, and we have this big house.
well, it's an amazing place, and i love the room.
i can't believe it's still available.
well, you know anyhow, uh, you have a great credit score.
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? what was what? ellie, did she just give me a dirty look? uh yeah, i thought so.
i'm sorry, ellie.
there's been some tension between my husband and me.
see, the truth is, we could've had the room rented by now if my husband wasn't so paranoid.
why, because i wouldn't let the swedish bodybuilder move in? you're as blind as a fruit bat.
how would you know if he's a bodybuilder? i brushed up against him.
i felt his bicep.
it was huge.
that wasn't his bicep.
why do you think he rushed out of here? okay, i normally dig this sort of interpersonal stuff, but i have a class in 20, so back to me? you're right, ellie.
my husband was totally inappropriate.
so a class? are you a teacher? actually, i'm an art student.
my life was working pretty well, and so i decided to junk it and learn how to paint fruit.
it's, uh, stupid, right? no, it's gutsy.
well, we like you, ellie, and if you have first and last months' rent, we'd like you even more.
fantastic.
i just hit the bank, so do you mind cash? oh, no, i love cash.
cash and i go way back.
so are you okay with this, or do you need to grope her, too? so that really wasn't the guy's arm? it had an elbow.
is this the clean pile? 'cause i'm not seeing it! you know what? do 'em all again.
this time, use a little elbow grease.
how are they doing? they are not suffering enough for my taste.
are you sure that washing dishes is the right punishment? well, gee, i'm kind of at a loss here, tom.
dr.
spock didn't have a chapter on how to punish your kids for burning down a building.
i just don't feel like we're handling this right.
maybe we should take 'em to therapy.
tom, they're not serial killers.
they're two little boys who were afraid their parents were breaking up.
but still- no.
we can handle this in-house.
we can make sure they never do anything like this again.
fine.
we'll try it your way.
but this next month is gonna be like boot camp for these guys.
they are going to be cleaning out the gutters, taking out the trash, mowing the lawns.
wait a second.
th ose are your chores.
no time to talk.
dinner shift's starting.
okay, this is the place.
oh, here, let me throw that away for you.
no, i'm not finished with it.
it's a lamaze class.
i guarantee you i will not be the only woman in there holding a chimichanga.
wow.
it's all couples.
i wish mike didn't have that rehab thing tonight.
do you want me to stay? i can skip the movie.
oh, no, that's okay.
i'll be fine.
okay.
have fun.
quit eyeing it.
i ain't sharing.
okay, don't talk.
just listen.
remember last year when i brought up dad's new girlfriend, and you said you never wanted to hear another word about one of his skanks again? yeah.
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