Previously on Desperate Housewives Orson's wife Alma disappeared Gaby found a new calling Yes, I'm unbelievable.
Close your mouths.
Someone new moved in He's a bachelor who lives with his invalid sister.
But Lynette found a dark secret Our neighbor is a pedophile.
You can't sit on this, Lynette.
Orson's mother revealed his past He cheated on Alma, broke her heart.
-For his precious Monique.
-Monique Polier? And the police couldn't find the evidence -We couldn't find a toolbox.
-The man's a plumber.
Until Mike tried to hide it.
I'll take those.
The annual block party was a winter tradition on Wisteria Lane.
It was a way for the residents to spread holiday cheer.
Everyone was invited Including Art Shepard, The newest resident of Wisteria Lane.
But as the big night drew near, more than holiday cheer was being spread around.
Hey, did you hear about the new guy that just moved in? Well, get a load of this Apparently, the perv's got all this weird stuff In his basement.
No, seriously.
It's like this big kiddie trap full of toys.
By Sunday evening, most of the gossiping had subsided, and the neighborhood was once again consumed by the spirit of the season.
Friends laughed over eggnog, lovers kissed under mistletoe, and the mood was jolly.
That is, until a certain guest made his appearance.
Look who's here! Merry Christmas, everybody! Merry Christmas! Now, kids, who's been good this year? Oh, come on, everybody was naughty? What am I gonna do with this fire truck? Joey, get back here.
What's going on? I'm not sure.
Let's go, girls.
Art, maybe we should go.
Yes, for the residents of Wisteria Lane, it was the most wonderful time of the year.
But for Arthur Shepard and his sister, it had turned t to be a very silent night.
By Tyno, Wisteria Team Forom.
com For the residents of Wisteria Lane, the holiday season could only begin, once the decorations came out.
For some, that meant pulling out the colored lights.
For others, it meant locating that holiday wreath.
And then there were those eager to display their nativity scene.
But for a romantic few, it was all about the mistletoe.
You have to kiss me.
It's the law.
While you're in a good mood, I thought I'd spring something on you.
-My parents are coming to town.
-Your parents? Really? And I wondered if you might be free to join us for dinner Saturday.
Absolutely.
So I assume this means they know about me? But of course.
And they know about me as in "Mum, Dad, bloody good news.
I've got melf a smashing new girlfriend.
" That's adorable.
Please don't do it in front of them.
Right.
So, um Do you want me to make reservations at that little french place? We could do that, but it's a 4-hour layover and they're going to be exhausted, and I thought we might have a more enjoyable time if they came here and you made dinner for them.
Okay, I guess it's time we have the conversation.
Ian Haven't you ever wondered why I've never cooked for you? I just assumed that you were lazy.
I wish.
My cooking is not good.
Well, my parents won't be expecting a gourmet meal.
Will they be expecting stomach cramps, acid reflux, night sweats? Come on, you can't be that bad.
It is really important that I make them a home-cooked meal? Well, it's just that they're very old-fashioned hearth-and-home types, and they might wonder why you didn't make the effort.
But it's okay.
You'll win them over Eventually.
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
Thank you.
Now nothing elaborate.
Just a simple roast and, uh, and something appropriate to go with it.
Right Like an ambulance.
No, Amy, small steps.
Small! Little Miss Snowflake glides.
She doesn't stomp.
Is that better? Getting there, sweetie.
If she was a horse, we'd have to shoot her.
Poor thing, she tries so hard.
Yeah, she's a trooper.
Let's dump her.
What?! Why? Pageant consultants are judged on the strength of their roster.
You know, we can't afford to bounce every nose-picking no-talent, but we can definitely lose the one who's dragging us down, and that's Amy.
We can't do that! Her mother died last year.
Yes, I know, I know, and it's tragic, but we are running a business.
Amy is sucking up all of our time, and we should be focusing on Sherri.
She actually has a shot at winning.
How will I tell her family? We'll do it together.
We'll be very diplomatic.
Are you sure about this? The poor kid's been through the wringer and Amy! For God sakes, Little Miss Snowflake does not scratch down there! Well, then again, her mother died a year ago.
How long is she gonna milk it? Mother Hodge, I have your breakfast.
Just put it over there.
I'll pick through it later.
Merry Christmas! Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you watching? Home movies.
It's fun looking back at the past, isn't it? Well, it's one way to kill time while you're waiting for death.
We also have cable.
Have you decided what you're gonna do about Orson? -Decided? -Yes.
Have you called a lawyer yet? I don't think that's any of your concern.
I don't mean to pry, but, I think you're a good Christian woman, and you deserve better than my son.
Well, I will take that under advisement.
If you give him a chance, he'll draw you back in.
It's what he does.
Just walk away.
It's not that easy.
I love him.
You'll get over it.
I did.
Merry Christmas! Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
Well, believe me, Rita, he scares me, too.
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