1
Max, what's a five-letter
word for "happy"?
And it's not my first wife, Helen.
I was gonna suggest "drunk.
"
Maybe 'cause I am.
Hey, everybody!
Hey.
Guess what I have under my coat.
And it's not ice cream
sundaes like last time.
It's my baby bump!
Aw, Sophie, you're showing!
And this time, it's not
either of your nipples.
Ah, look! Only four months.
And I'm already approaching Kardashian.
And that's quoting the doctor.
Impressive.
You may have a North, South,
East, and West in there.
The baby really kicks.
So it's either gonna be a soccer player
or a Los Angeles policeman.
Hey, Han, what do you think
of my baby bump, baby bump, baby bump?
In my country,
we never comment on two things:
women's pregnancies
or Kim Jong-un's haircut.
(Peter Bjorn and John)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(cash register bell dings)
(upbeat music)
(bell dings)
One tuna malt.
That was a tuna melt.
Oh.
Max, here comes Han.
Now remember, we have to be extra nice
so we can get his support
for our new dessert bar.
How can he support us?
He can barely support his giant head.
See, that's the kind of stuff
you're gonna have to stay away from.
What's this about?
Last time you were smiling,
I almost lost an ear.
Well, my Hollywood money
has finally arrived,
and as you know, Han, Max and I want to
convert the cupcake window
into a dessert bar.
And as you know, I want to
convert you two into waitresses.
Come on, Han, it won't
affect the diner at all.
All we want to do
is use the dish room
home of two of the three
original strands of E.
coli.
It's a no.
My therapist said
this had to be the year
of standing up for myself
and cutting out soda.
All right, well go ahead, stand up.
But because I would like to see
you make someone else miserable,
I know a real estate agent
that could help you two
find a new space.
Did you say "real estate Asian"?
Her name is Evie,
and I know her from my church.
And let's just say she's been angling
for what I've got dangling.
Your keys?
She likes me, you shrews!
Okay, well that's what
we get for being nice.
So back to the dessert bar,
did you get the pictures I sent
you of those cool stools?
I saw the subject heading
was "cool stools,"
and I thought you finally
shattered our last boundary.
Here, give me your phone.
I can't find the stools.
(gasps)
Oh, my God!
I can't believe what I'm seeing.
Is it that dog driving?
No, why do you still have a picture
of your ex-boyfriend on your phone?
You swiped on my phone?
What if I had something
embarrassing in there?
Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot?
Why do you still have a picture
of Randy on your phone?
The guy who broke up with you
in L.
A.
using a therapist?
This bespeaks of an unresolved longing.
Be-stop be-talking right now.
I am gonna delete them, I just
haven't gotten around to it yet.
Like being nice to people.
Oh, my God, this is too weird.
- What?
- It's Randy.
Does Max work here?
This smells like the place
she described.
That smell's how I find
my way to work every day.
What is he doing here?
I don't want to see him.
Then don't turn around,
'cause he's right behind you.
Max?
Hey.
Good to see you.
You're not gonna turn around?
No, I'm good.
You're not gonna turn
around for that guy?
I mean, I would turn
around for that guy.
See on the board you
have some specials.
I guess I'll have the sloppy job?
It's "Joe.
"
Sometimes my "E"s look like "B"s.
Clearly, I need to start writing
the specials on the board.
You know what,
just give me the meat load?
That one, sadly, is spelled right.
Randy, what are you doing here?
Lawyer stuff.
I'm in town for the weekend.
My client, Tony Bennett,
is suing Lady Gaga
for making him uncool.
And I thought I'd come by and
see if Max wanted to see me.
I guess I also wouldn't
mind a cup of hot caca.
Max you're not gonna turn around?
Okay.
Guess I better go.
Well, bye.
Bye.
(stomping feet)
Damn it!
Fell for the ol' Scooby
Doo fake footsteps.
- How are you?
- I'm great.
Never been greater.
Max, I need someone to clean up
the baby-changing station
in the ladies' room.
- We don't have one.
- We do now.
I guess I better let
you get back to work.
If you want to see me, give me a call.
Tony has dinner
and goes to bed around 3:30.
Randy thinks he can just
show up with his face
and his body and his
muscular-but-not-too-thick neck
and think I'm gonna
forget that he dumped me?
Max, don't say "dumped.
"
Say "kicked to the curb.
" It's kinder.
Oh, Max, we have an
unattended package situation.
Not unlike that homeless guy
we just passed on the stoop.
Wow, that's the biggest box I've seen
since I accidentally clicked on
a "big, beautiful women" porn.
It stops being an "accident"
when you wake me up by yelling,
"Hey, check out this 'big,
beautiful women' porn!"
Well, this is exciting.
I haven't had a surprise delivery
since that baby I felt
was just Chipolte.
Max, that never really happened, right?
Whatever makes you sleep
sounder, sweetheart.
Never happened.
Oh, good God!
It's three kinds of popcorn!
And all kinds of disappointment.
Crazy?
You've got your standard butter,
you got your sweet, sweet caramel,
and finally, the popcorn
that needs no introduction,
cheese!
Cheese-us, that's good.
It's from Randy.
"I know it's corny, but I miss you.
Love, Randy.
"
Oh, great, so he's a great writer too?
Why am I mad at him again?
All right, he obviously
knows your sweet spot
is the grocery aisle at Rite Aid,
but I am not gonna let junk food
cloud your judgment again.
Like that time you donated blood
for a chocolate chip cookie.
Hey, I also got orange juice.
(knocking at door)
Hey, girls.
Max, this was delivered
upstairs for you.
Uh, sorry about the bite marks,
but the baby a whiff of the
pimento loaf and said,
"Oh, I just got to have it.
"
"I know I was a jerky,
so let me say sorry with salami.
热门英文电视剧
老友记 Friends摩登家庭 Modern Family绝望主妇 Desperate Housewives破产姐妹 2 Broke Girls权利的游戏 Game of Thrones黑镜 Black Mirror爱,死亡和机器人 Love, Death & Robots杀死伊芙 Killing Eve第二十二条军规 Catch-22神盾局特工 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.豆瓣高分英文剧
瑞克和莫蒂 Rick and Morty老友记 Friends火线 The Wire怪诞小镇 Gravity Falls探险活宝 Adventure Time with Finn and Jake无耻之徒(美版) Shameless飞出个未来 Futurama欢乐一家亲 Frasier 成长的烦恼 Growing Pains兄弟连 Band of Brothers飞哥与小佛 Phineas and Ferb风骚律师 Better Call Saul少年正义联盟 Young Justice亿万 Billions咱们裸熊 We Bare Bears副总统 Veep鬼屋欢乐送 Ghosts伦敦生活 Fleabag绅士杰克 Gentleman公关 Flack梅尔罗斯 Patrick MelroseCopyright © 2021 TaiCiShe.com 版权所有。 联系我们