Who or what did you do to get this $20 tip? Because I wheeled a customer home the other night, and all I got was a 5.
And that was after we made out and I gave him a bath.
The lady at that table asked me what was special here, And I said, "I used to be," and then I burst into tears.
I pull that out whenever I need a manicure.
Well, it's that time of year again.
I'm so jealous.
I can't believe you only get your period once a year.
It's tax season, and my accountant said I'm getting a refund.
He also complimented these moccasins, which are also controversial around here.
Well, they do have the word "mock", "ass" and "sin.
" This is why I never wear overalls, 'cause you two would be - Overall - Disgusted? Precisely.
Oh, Earl, that reminds me.
I forgot.
Here you go.
I finished your taxes.
And for the future you cannot claim your weed dealer as a dependent.
I don't know why.
I'm very dependent on weed.
Max, since I've been helping everyone with their taxes, Mostly because the only other time I get to use my financial degree is counting how many Q-Tips we have left, Five.
Three.
I dropped two in the toilet, and the cockroacis using them as oars for his boat.
Ha.
That'll be cute.
Look, there are two things I won't talk about.
Taxes or your flying dreams.
Face it, Caroline.
You're not going anywhere.
Okay, well, we have to talk about our taxes, and what we're gonna claim, and, no, you cannot claim I'm ruining your life.
Why? I did that last year and got $10 back.
It's only 12:30.
- Nice try, Max.
- Come on, let's leave early.
I'm more exhausted than my bra.
Whoa, good, you're still open.
My fiancee wants a cupcake, and she always gets what she wants.
Hi.
I mean, I really want a house in the Hamptons, but I'll take a cupcake.
I'm nothing like that sounded.
Don't apologize.
I'm everything like that sounded.
Oh, I'll be right back, babe.
There's a homeless guy building a shopping bag house around the Porsche.
Too bad.
That homeless guy almost had a front Porsche.
He hates this neighborhood.
So you've been held up at gunpoint one or two times? It's like, grow a pair, right? So what are you eating? Um, chocolate.
But, wait, now I'm thinking red velvet.
Tim put my ring in one when he proposed.
Oh, he proposed with one of our cupcakes? That's so sweet.
Yeah, it was.
I mean, it was like a whole thing, because I swallowed it, but, once it passed, really so pretty.
I gave him a 20 to move to that Mini Cooper instead of our car.
Remind me to start calling Han "Mini Cooper.
" Babe, I've been thinking.
Uh-oh.
That's never good.
No, it's great, babe.
Listen.
So, since you proposed to me with one of their cupcakes, I was thinking that these girls should do our wedding cake.
But, babe, we already ordered a wedding cake.
$1,300.
Remember, babe? I know, but, babe.
They said babe less in the movie Babe.
So do you guys do wedding cakes? - No.
- Yes.
I don't.
She does.
She's the baker, and, yes, we do tons of wedding cakes.
Gay weddings, straight weddings.
Bed wettings.
Claire, you do whatever you want, but I'm gonna wait in the car.
I just can't do the cake stuff again, babe.
He doesn't want to do the cake stuff.
Well, I don't want to do the butt stuff.
You know what I mean? - No.
- Yes.
Why don't you come in and we can talk about it? Enter through the diner.
Okay.
See you guys in a sec.
What is wrong with you? I told you I didn't want any more white girls in the shop.
And since when do we do wedding cakes? Since that guy said $1,300.
You can do this, Max.
You went to pastry school.
I also went to high school, but I can't tell you which president Rock Hudson was.
I don't do wedding cakes.
Okay, I know this may not be the best time for you to make your first wedding cake because of your recent breakup.
Oh, it's not about Deke.
If you remember, I'm the one who sent his 'fro out the door.
Weddings are just stupid.
This whole idea of celebrating love? I mean, love works out less than Chris Christie.
Right through here.
There you go, miss.
Thanks.
Did you want something else? I'll take whatever I can get.
Okay, we're done.
You're lucky.
This morning, a cannoli shell pressed sexual harassment charges against him.
Oh, my God, you guys.
Your shop is so adorbs.
I'm Claire, by the way.
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