4. Episode 4 (第1季)【完整台词】

Ah, the syndicate benefits when I benefit because everybody has a share.

You'll see when we get to Palermo.

I thought you said we were going to Malta.

- Ah, Palermo first.

- [KNOCKING] You hear that, Orr? Tu vuo' fa' ll'americano Mericano, mericano Sient'a mme chi t' 'o ffa fa' Tu vuoi vivere alla moda Come on, fellas.

Let's go, guys.

Whisky and soda Po' te siente 'e disturba' [GOATS BLEATING] Tu abball' o' rocchenroll Tu giochi a baisiboll Ma e solde p' e' Ccamel [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Mericano, mericano Ma si' nato in Italy Sient' a mme, nun ce sta niente 'a fa' Ok, napulitan Tu vuo' fa' ll'american Tu vuo' fa' ll'american What's sindaco? Sindaco.

It means mayor.

I'm the mayor of Palermo.

YOSSARIAN: How? 'Cause I brought Scotch to Italy.

Well, since when do the Italians drink Scotch? They don't.

Scotch is very expensive.

These people are very poor.

Well, why are you importing it if nobody drinks it? To inflate the price.

MILO: Sicily's now the third largest exporter of Scotch in the world.

That's why they elected me mayor.

That's why they elected him mayor.

ORR: Good for you, Milo.

[BRASS BAND PLAYING] Oh, bello, bello.

Perfetto! Grazie.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Signor Minderbinder.

Signor Minderbinder.

Ah, Giuseppe.

Telefono.

This is M&M Enterprises.

This is Milo Minderbinder.

- Milo, ¿cómo estás? ¿Todo bien? - Uh-huh, Fernando.

FERNANDO: Eh, mi hermano.

Mira, tengo 200 cajas - de alcachofas.

- Okay.

FERNANDO: Si las quiere, pero ya tengo otro persona que las - quiere comprar.

- Yeah, we should.

FERNANDO: Así que si no me lo puedes decir ahora We should absolutely do that.

FERNANDO: tengo que vendérselo a otra persona, no puedo dejar Okay, all right.

Give me, uh, four hours.

FERNANDO: Cuatro horas.

¿Seguro? Yeah, send my love to Marge and the kids, okay? FERNANDO: Está bien, se lo digo.

Artichokes.

Insane prices.

I have to act fast.

[GRUNTS] I'll be back.

Don't wait up for me.

[PLANE ENGINES APPROACHING] YOSSARIAN: About fucking time.

MILO: Hi, fellas! I'm so sorry! I had to meet the artichoke king.

He's in Gibraltar.

It's quite the hike.

Oh, we slept on goddamn deck chairs.

I can organize a massage in Malta.

Milo, what am I doing here? We gotta chop-chop now, boys! [GLEN MILLER'S "BEGIN THE BEGUINE"] Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

And, uh, we, um, welcome tonight a very special guest.

A very special friend.

And the first American in over 120 years to ever hold the title of Assistant Governor General of Malta.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Major Sir Milo Minderbinder.

[APPLAUSE] Hear! Thank you, Governor General.

And ladies and gentlemen, it is an absolute honor to be here tonight.

[APPLAUSE] MILO: These are a gift for the Caliph of Oran.

YOSSARIAN: What is Oran? MILO: It's a city in Algeria.

It was founded by the Moors in the 10th century.

ORR: Why are you giving the Caliph of Oran a plane full of parrots? MILO: Because it's customary for the Pasha of Oran to give gifts to the Caliph.

YOSSARIAN: And you're the Pasha of Oran? MILO: Oh, it's an honorary title.

You know how these things go.

It doesn't actually mean anything.

MILO: Ah, they're beautiful, aren't they? YOSSARIAN: What are you doing with them? Well, Oran is where I call in my favor.

Oran means one thing to me.

And that thing is dates.

Well, two things.

I'm thinking of taking out some oil leases, too.

But today it's all about dates.

- What dates? - MILO: Date dates.

The dates you eat.

They're a palm fruit.

Algerian dates are the best in the world, and this guy that we're going to see, the Caliph he has a lot of them.

And I mean a lot of them.

Okay.

Now, the thing with this guy is he's nervous.

Maybe it's an Arab thing.

Maybe he just wants a little show of respect.

The Arabs are an ancient people.

Ancient families doing business with other ancient families.

Things move slow.

I think the speed of American enterprise gives him the willies.

And I'm guessing he just wants to know that he's getting into business with some serious people.

So I told him I was bringing my friend with me today.

My friend being a wealthy American industrialist.

That wealthy American industrialist being you.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] MILO: Most high Caliph, it is so wonderful to see you again.

CALIPH: And you, too, good Milo.

You are always welcome in my house.

You have journeyed well.

- You look very good.

- I feel radiant, Your Majesty.

Perhaps it is the fragrant air of your magical country.

Perhaps it is, good Milo.

Perhaps you should find a way of bottling it to take home with you to America.

Indeed we should.

It would make my people very happy.

Your Highness, if you will, allow me to introduce you to a dear, dear friend.

Your Greatness, it's my pleasure to introduce to you a fantastically wealthy American industrialist from an ancient American family.

Mr.

Nelson D.