1
ADULT SHELDON: For most
students, the weekend
represented two days of fun,
freedom, and in the case of my brother,
a chance to ignore all forms of hygiene.
[QUIETLY]: Come on, come on.
ADULT SHELDON: To me,
however, it represented
an unwelcome break from education.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[EXCITED CHATTER]
Whoo! Thank the Lord!
ADULT SHELDON: But this
wasn't a typical weekend,
because this was the weekend
I got to do my parents' taxes.
Howdy do, W-2.
Nobody else is stronger than I am
Yesterday I moved a mountain
I bet I could be your hero
I am a mighty little man
"If you were not covered
by a retirement plan,
but your spouse was, see
the worksheet on page 14.
"
Try and stop me.
Mom, I was going
through our expenditures
and noticed our grocery
bills are up 12% compared
to last quarter.
Any idea why?
There's a person at the end of
the table that eats for free.
There's a person at the
other end of the table
that eats for three.
[LAUGHS]
I've been buying groceries
for the church food drive.
I think that's it.
Ooh, I bet I could write that off,
including the gas it took
to drive to the grocery store
and then to the church.
With all that driving,
maybe she can count
her car as a home office.
Sounds aggressive, but I
like how you're thinking.
None of that is necessary,
it's for charity.
What's the point of charity
if there are no tax benefits?
Eat your peas.
I like how he's thinking.
You eat your peas, too.
[LAUGHS]
Dad, banking question.
What's that, buddy?
I noticed there's a check missing.
I have a copy of check 128
and a copy of check
130, but 129 isn't there.
Oh, yeah, don't worry about it.
But I enjoy worrying;
I find it very relaxing.
'Course you do.
I balanced the rest of the account,
and it appears to be a check for $300.
All right, well, let's just put it down
for $300 for miscellaneous.
I've never labeled anything
miscellaneous in my life.
I'll go ask Mom.
Wait.
[CHUCKLES]
I just remembered.
I gave the money to a friend.
Who? It doesn't matter who.
Why'd you give it to them?
They needed it.
It it's like charity.
Ooh, another write-off, excellent.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
What do you say we keep this quiet?
You mean like a secret?
No, no, just, you know,
something between you and me.
What about Mom?
Mom is on a need-to-know basis.
What if Mom needs to know?
Okay, it's a secret.
Just trust me.
It is better for everyone if
she doesn't know about this.
But I'm not good at keeping secrets.
It's not hard.
Just
keep your mouth shut.
But I'm not good at
keeping my mouth shut.
Sheldon, all you got to do is be cool.
ADULT SHELDON: "Be cool.
"
He might as well have asked
me to fly around the backyard.
- Good night, baby.
- Night, Mama.
- Love you.
- Love you, too.
Oh, hello.
I was just brushing my
teeth like I do every night.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Nothing new there.
You all right?
Yes.
I'm cool.
I'm very cool.
Tell Sheldon what cool means.
Hush.
Sweet dreams.
Love you.
Love you, too, 'cause you're my mom.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
You're so weird.
More than usual?
No, I guess not.
Perfect.
ADULT SHELDON: To avoid
looking suspicious,
I tried to interact with my
mom as little as possible.
Thankfully, it's rude to
speak with your mouth full.
You look tired, baby.
Sleep okay?
Mm-hmm.
So how big a tax refund
you think we're gonna get?
Mm.
- Mornin'.
- Mornin'.
I slept in the nude last night.
Felt every little breeze.
Thank you for sharing that.
You're welcome.
Fight, you cowards, fight!
You fight, Skeletor.
Mare, we got any batteries?!
MARY: Look in the drawer
by the refrigerator.
ADULT SHELDON: There was only
so much food I could eat,
so I started avoiding my
mother whenever possible.
[GASPS]
[WHISPERING] What are
you doing in there?
[WHISPERING]: Keeping your secret.
You got to pull it together.
This is me pulling it together.
- Pull harder.
- MARY: Find 'em?
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES] Got 'em.
Thanks.
You're very welcome.
Hey, have you noticed
anything off with Sheldon?
Uh, no, no, no.
Can't
say that I have.
Why?
He's been awful quiet, and, at
the risk of being indelicate,
he's gone several days
without a bowel movement.
How do you know that?
Well, I was worried about him,
so I took a look in his potty journal.
He's still keeping that thing, huh?
Oh, yeah, that's why he
wanted the Polaroid camera.
Uh, well, I'm sure he's gonna be fine,
uh, but I'll keep an eye on him.
- Thank you.
- You got it.
- [WHISPERING]: She's gone.
- SHELDON: Thank you.
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所属电视剧:Young Sheldon (2017)
4. A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
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