3. A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens (第2季)【完整台词】

1 "That everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.

" [WHISPERS]: Here we go.

[SIGHS] Yes, Sheldon? When you said God gave his son to the world, did you mean Earth or the universe? Earth.

But if God created the universe, wouldn't he want to save all of it? Yes, uh, he would.

Then why did you say Earth? "Earth" is a synonym for the universe.

[QUIETLY]: He's grabbing at straws now.

So if God's plan is to save all of the universe, that means a race of octopus aliens light-years away could only be saved by Jesus? Sure.

Even though they never would've heard of him? Yes.

Even though his appearance might be terrifying to them? W-Why would his appearance be terrifying? He has four limbs and they have eight.

- Okay, that's enough.

- JEFF: No, no.

I prayed people would be more interested in my sermons.

I suppose I should've been more specific.

Sheldon, if these creatures were born without sin, they don't need to be saved by Jesus.

What if an octopus Adam and Eve brought sin to their world? Would they be saved by a human Jesus or an octopus Jesus? [SIGHS] [LAUGHS] Nobody else is stronger than I am Yesterday I moved a mountain I bet I could be your hero I am a mighty little man And then I said octopus aliens didn't need to become Christian because they're not affected by original sin.

You should've been there; Pastor Jeff almost started crying.

Oh, now I'm sorry I missed it.

That's your fault for having a hangover.

Or it's God's fault for putting Sunday morning after Saturday night.

[PHONE RINGING] - Meemaw, could you take me to Radio Shack? - MARY: Hello? Sure, maybe later.

Later's a little vague.

Could you please be more specific? When I'm good and ready.

How's that? Better, but I'd really like to nail this down.

Why don't you ask your father to take you? - Dad? - What? Can you please take me to Radio Shack? I'm busy.

Ask your meemaw.

I did.

She said to ask you.

Well, ask her again.

Seems counterintuitive, but all right.

Meemaw? Oh, Lord.

Everything okay? No.

Stephanie Hanson's daughter was in a car accident last night.

She died.

Oh, no.

My God.

She was barely 16.

GEORGE SR.

: That's horrible.

Is there anything we can do? I don't know.

Um ugh.

I need to call folks at the church.

[MARY SIGHS] Any more thoughts on Radio Shack? Sheldon, do you really think this is the appropriate time to ask that question? I did, but now I'm second-guessing myself.

How you holding up? I'm okay.

[CLEARS THROAT] 16 years old.

It's just awful.

It's all part of God's plan.

[TV PLAYING QUIETLY] How come we don't get to go to the funeral? Why would you want to go to a funeral? I've never been to one.

When you get to be my age, you get to go to plenty.

That's, like, a hundred years from now.

You make it hard to love you.

Do you really see a dead body? Sometimes.

How close do you get to it? Real close, if you want.

And the clothes they're wearing, is that the clothes they become a ghost in? Depends.

In the movie Ghost, Patrick Swayze has on the outfit that he dies in.

Casper runs around butt naked.

Maybe he died naked.

That's fun to think about.

And y'all wonder why you're not at the funeral.

Good morning, Peg.

Well, it will be once this cup of Sanka works its magic.

Is Pastor available? Oh, he's on the phone with his wife.

- Oh, should I come back? - Nah.

He usually gets his groveling done pretty quick.

So that little Hanson girl, that was horrible, huh? Yeah.

Reminds you that life is precious.

[COUGHING LOUDLY] You're up, slugger.

[COUGHING CONTINUES] JEFF: Come in.

[WHOOPS] I have the clothing drive flyers if you'd like to take a look.

Thank you.

You all right, Mare? [SIGHS] No, not really.

Um I can't stop thinking about that little girl.

I understand.

That's why it's important in these times to take comfort in our faith.

What if that's not doing the trick? Events like this can certainly create doubt.

It happens to me more often than I'd like to admit.

What do you do? I roll up my sleeves and I work even harder at serving our Lord.

Mary, we each have a relationship with God, and relationships take work.

Get out there.

Help the needy, start a Bible study, hug a stranger and tell 'em the Lord loves 'em.

[CHUCKLES] But not a child; that backfires on you, big-time.

Thank you, Pastor Jeff.

You are most welcome.

Oh, and tell Sheldon I spoke to my seminary professor, and the official ruling is: God would appear to the octopus aliens in octopus alien form and save their eight-legged souls.

Praise Jesus! [CHUCKLES] [PEG COUGHING] [DOOR CLOSES] I should put that in a sermon.

Hold on, hold on.

Thank you, God, for this food we are about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, and bless the hands that prepared it.

Amen.

We're doing this at breakfast now? Yes, I think it's a nice idea.

She's eating Count Chocula.

Doesn't he play for the other side? I'm so glad God blessed you with a sense of humor, George.

Mom, have you received any distressing phone calls today? No.

Why? Just wondering if it's an appropriate time to ask if you could take me to Radio Shack.

Sorry, sweetheart, I can't today.

I have to bring this food over to the Hanson family.

Then I have my new prayer group.

And after that, I'm gonna get started on a faith garden in the backyard.

A faith garden? What the hell is that? Language.

It's an outdoorsy place for me to speak to God.

Don't you already speak to him indoorsy? Yes, but in the backyard, I can enjoy the beautiful world he gave us.