19. A Political Campaign and a Candy Land Cheater (第2季)【完整台词】

Vote Sheldon for class president.

Vote Sheldon for class president.

Don't worry It's a number two.

You can use it on standardized tests.

Okay.

And, of course, homework.

I love homework.

Well, it's so nice to finally meet you.

I'm Nell Cavanaugh.

My opponent.

I would shake your hand, but my mom is washing my mittens.

Okay.

She was really nice.

She even said, "May the best student win.

" That's sweet.

This was a great idea.

Children like cupcakes, and, by giving them cupcakes, they'll transfer that affinity to me.

That's another way of looking at it.

By that reasoning, a rich person could simply buy people's votes.

It's been known to happen.

Until my ship comes in, I guess it's cupcakes.

Georgie, check it out.

Oh, man, I hate that he's doing this.

What? It's cute.

It's embarrassing.

I would think you'd be proud of him.

That's 'cause you're a better person than me.

Maybe you ought to ask God to take away your anger and replace it with love.

Can I ask him to take away my brother instead? Georgie.

Not kill him Just strand him on an island somewhere.

A nice island, with coconuts and stuff.

Nell Cavanaugh, it appears we're taking the mittens off.

Well, that's unfortunate.

Oh, this goes well beyond unfortunate.

It's flat-out unfair.

Did you not say that you love homework? Of course I said it.

I say it all the time.

But she took it out of context and is using it against me.

Well, that is what happens in politics.

People stretch the truth.

Well, those people are dirty dogs.

They certainly are.

Now, let me ask you something.

How bad do you want to win this election? Bad enough to let 105 kids shake my mitten.

Okay, then you need to toughen up.

Politics is not for the weak-kneed.

Are you suggesting that I fight fire with fire? I am.

So going to my room and crying in my pillow is not an option? It is not.

Then I have some thinking to do.

Oh, yeah.

You're screwed.

Which is why I need your help.

Why me? You're ruthless.

I've seen you cheat at Candy Land.

Thanks.

Go on.

Well, I'd like to retaliate, but I don't know anything about her.

Make something up.

Ooh, tell people she has head lice.

I won't resort to lying.

There's a Denise Cavanaugh in my class.

Could be her little sister.

So? I'll see if I can dig up something about Nell you can use against her.

Thank you.

Georgie, I hate to have to ask this, but are you going to vote for me? No.

Go away.

Are you sure? If I win, I can make you a hall monitor.

Imagine the respect you'll get then.

Get lost.

Lord, please take away my anger toward my stupid brother.

My life is hard enough.

Don't let him be president.

And while we're talking, Veronica help me out.

Encourage her to do something with me she'll regret.

Amen.

Remember, tomorrow we'll be dissecting worms! Ah, your sadness makes me happy.

Mr.

Givens, I just wanted you to know that I'm still working hard on my campaign to get more funding for the science department.

Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself.

Anything you can do to help me win a decisive victory come Election Day would be much appreciated.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, the faculty doesn't get involved in student elections.

Oh, I understand.

You have to remain neutral.

Wink, wink.

I'm sorry, wink, wink? You want new science equipment and I want that for you.

One hand washes the other.

Wink, wink.

Oh, sure, wink, wink.

Now you're getting it.

Wink, wink.

Wink, wink.

Wink, wink.

That kid creeps me out.

Another hurdle in my political career was glossophobia: fear of public speaking.

I've been known to experience dry mouth, perspiration, heart palpitations, and fainting.

A similar response to what I experience around unleashed dogs.

Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.

Can I please speak with Pastor Jeff? Hey, Sheldon, what can I do for you? I need to give a speech at school, but I have a fear of public speaking.

Since you give a sermon every Sunday, I was hoping you'd have some words of advice.

As a matter of fact, I do.