1
I have a special treat for y'all today.
My dear friend and former
college roommate is here
from the Johnson Space Center
in Houston to talk to us
about our space program.
And yeah, I know what you're thinking.
These guys were roomies.
How does one go on
to be a.
a fancy scientist at NASA,
and the other's
teaching freshman science
at a public high school?
Yeah, Sheldon.
I was thinking that.
Thank you.
All right, uh, let's give a warm welcome
to my good buddy, Dr.
Ronald Hodges.
Hey, kids.
Hey.
Glad to be here.
And,
uh, Hubert, the answer
to your question is, one of
those roomies was busy studying
while the other was out
chasing high school girls.
- [FORCED LAUGH]
- [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
To be clear, they were all over 18.
[LAUGHING]: Yeah.
Well
Now, what I thought would
be fun to talk about today
is what NASA's planning on
doing beyond the Space Shuttle.
Things like the first
manned mission to Mars.
Uh, yeah.
Did you see the movie Aliens?
I did.
Did you think it was cool?
Uh
Sure, I enjoyed it.
Me, too.
Football player, right?
Yes, sir.
[LAUGHING]: Yeah.
Now, of course, before
we can set out to
explore the solar system,
we've got a few minor
problems to overcome.
Not the least of which is, every time
we launch, it costs the U.
S.
taxpayers
hundreds of millions of dollars.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Yes.
- If you want to save money,
why don't you land the booster rockets
instead of letting
them drop in the ocean?
[LAUGHS]
That's a cute idea, but, uh,
it's not technically possible.
Why not?
Well, it's hard to explain.
The math is pretty complicated.
Perhaps I could help you with it.
[LAUGHING]: Well,
I bet you could.
[LAUGHS] I'll bet you could.
I'll tell you what.
Here is a NASA patch.
Why don't you have your mom
sew that on your book bag? Now,
who here wants to know how
astronauts go to the bathroom?
- BOY: Me.
I do.
- Oh, right.
See,
now, during liftoff, all the astronauts
wear diapers.
ADULT SHELDON: People
often wonder why I chose
to pursue a career in
theoretical physics.
I usually respond by saying
I wanted to unravel the inner
workings of the universe.
Yeah, perhaps when
Captain Kirk said, "To boldly go,"
he meant in one of those, huh?
ADULT SHELDON: But the real answer was
I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong.
Yeah, that's right.
Beam me up, Potty!
[CACKLING]
Nobody else is stronger than I am
Yesterday I moved a mountain
I bet I could be your hero
I am a mighty little man
MEEMAW: So I saw a lawyer today.
Why?
I'm putting together my
last will and testament.
We're gonna miss ya.
George.
Don't worry.
I ain't leaving him squat.
Are you dyin'?
We're all dyin', honey.
From the second we're born,
it's just a slip and
slide into the darkness.
Unless you get bit by a vampire.
Well, now that goes without saying.
I don't want to die.
I've only kissed
one boy so far.
What?
Relax.
It was a long time ago.
Are you relaxed?
Shelly, you haven't
touched your dinner.
You feel okay?
Oh, yes.
I was just thinking.
About what, baby?
The optimal height-to-width
ratio for a reusable rocket.
MEEMAW: I was just
thinking the exact same thing.
Really?
Oh, Moonpie, I love you so much.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
[SUCKS AIR IN THROUGH TEETH]
It's late.
What are you doing up?
I'm working on the
hyperbolic calculations
for a rocket return.
Need any help?
What?
I'm kiddin'.
Now, turn out
the light and go to bed.
- But
- Now.
[SIGHS]
Dad, can we afford a computer?
You do my taxes.
What do you think?
Never mind.
Good night.
Meemaw?
Mr.
Moonpie, how might I help you?
How much money are you planning
to leave me when you die?
Nice talkin' to you.
[KNOCKING] Meemaw?
Want to try that again?
I need to buy a computer
so I can solve the Navier-Stokes equation.
Uh-huh.
How much is a computer?
Apple has a nice one for $2,000,
but the kind I need costs three million.
Let me see what I got in the vault.
[MURMURS QUIETLY]
Nine bucks and, uh
Oh, look at that a peso.
It's warm.
Hello, First National Bank.
I'd like to speak with a loan officer.
It's regarding a second
mortgage on my home.
My name is Sheldon Lee Cooper.
Sure, I'll hold.
Oh, I hate hold music.
Hello.
Yes, you can help me,
Dorothy Fitzpatrick.
I'm interested in taking
out a second mortgage.
I'm nine years old.
Why do you ask?
That's called age
discrimination, Dorothy,
but I'm willing to let it slide.
I'm glad you find me cute,
but I'm deadly serious.
I need funds to buy a computer.
No, the house isn't in my name.
I'm nine.
We've established this.
I do prepare the taxes for my parents,
and if we tighten our belts,
we'll have sufficient
equity for the loan.
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