1
ADULT SHELDON: On any given day,
our school gymnasium
presented a cocktail of horrors.
[SCREAMS]
From daily humiliation
to school-sanctioned violence
BOY: Oh!
But one day a year, the
gymnasium was transformed
into a haven of learning
thanks to a remarkable institution
known as the science fair.
A chance for the student
body to come together
in the name of research and progress.
Uh, while some did the bare minimum
[BURPS]
and others preferred
razzamatazz over raw data,
I set out to save humanity
from deadly asteroids.
And made it all neatly fit
on three poster boards.
The science fair may be a competition,
but when the goal is promoting
knowledge, we're all winners.
PETERSEN: And the winner
of the Medford High
School Science Fair is
SueAnn Ludlow!
You've got to be kidding me!
Shelly.
[APPLAUSE]
You people are crazy!
- Hey.
- All right.
SHELDON: You're celebrating mediocrity!
Mediocrity!
Mediocrity!
Nobody else is stronger than I am
Yesterday I moved a mountain
I bet I could be your hero
I am a mighty little man
I'll be in my room.
Oh, come on, Shelly.
You still got an honorable mention.
Stop reminding me.
[SIGHS]
I hate to see him so upset.
Well, give him a little
time, he'll calm down.
[DOOR SLAMS]
SHELDON: Fiddle-faddle!
The F word.
He's real mad.
You don't always win in
life, he needs to learn that.
I know, but these are big
feelings for a little boy.
They're feelings everybody has.
It's part of growing up.
I guess.
SHELDON: Poodle poop!
MEEMAW: Okay.
Somebody's got to
teach this kid to swear,
it's embarrassing.
Sheldon, listen,
I know losing ain't easy.
I deal with it on the
football field all the time.
[CHUCKLES]
It's like that big game we had
last year against Nacogdoches.
We were down 28 points at the half.
It was raining, it was muddy.
Everybody in the stands had gone home.
But somehow, we managed
to claw our way back
to a tie with a minute left.
And then, they threw a Hail Mary,
and the receiver stepped out of bounds,
but the ref didn't see it.
After all that, we lose on a bad call.
Believe me, I was furious.
But I sucked it up,
and I walked across that
field and I shook their hands.
I didn't hear a word you said.
Okay.
So while an animal cell has a membrane,
a plant cell has a
membrane and a cell wall.
SHELDON: Who cares?
Sheldon, what are you doing?
Being disrespectful, sir.
Ah.
How come?
Because I'm disillusioned
with the school system.
Georgie, do you know
what's going on with him?
Actually, I'm trying to ignore it.
Well, get your feet off the desk.
What if I don't?
I was sent to see Principal Petersen.
What is it this time?
Youthful rebellion.
My voice hasn't changed
yet, but my attitude has.
I'll let him know you're here.
You do that.
Ma'am.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Sheldon Cooper's outside.
Who sent him now?
- Givens.
- Well, you know what?
Givens needs to man up.
Cooper's a little boy.
It's not hard to handle him.
I'll send him in.
H-Hold on a minute, just
Does he know I'm in here?
SHELDON [OVER P.
A.
]:
Attention, students and faculty.
Oh, no.
This is Sheldon Lee Cooper.
What the hell?
We're taught that hard work
pays off, but that's not true.
I came up with a solution to save Earth
from killer asteroids,
and lost the science fair
to SueAnn Ludlow, and
her frizzy hair machine.
But it wasn't just me
who lost, we all lost.
Wake up, people.
The system's broken.
Real innovation isn't valued.
Nowadays, it's all
about flash and style.
I blame MTV.
Luckily, my parents can't afford cable.
We can afford it.
I urge you all to rise up.
[GRUNTS]
They can't send everyone
to the principal's office.
Chew gum in class, use
a number one pencil,
go nuts.
This is Sheldon Lee Cooper signing off.
Live long and prosper.
You better run, you little punk!
[GRUNTING]
MEEMAW: I can't believe you sent
him to bed without his dinner.
That's right.
On spaghetti and hot dog night.
- That's rough.
- He's got to learn.
Let's talk about something else.
Georgie, how was your day?
My brother told the entire
school we can't afford cable.
Oh, right.
Missy?
Good, until I learned
we can't afford cable.
[SIGHS]
I've been thinking, and there's
something I'd like to say.
Unless it's an apology,
I don't want to hear it.
I'm quitting science.
Not an apology.
Spank him, Dad.
I'm really getting worried about Shelly.
Acting out, and now quitting science?
Oh, I'm sure he'll get right back to it.
I've quit smoking and
gambling plenty of times.
- Hmm.
- Look in my purse.
Nothing but cigarettes
and scratchers.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS] Maybe he
should talk to somebody.
Not it.
I meant a professional, George.
But way to be a dad.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hey.
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