Where are we at on the Rhoades work-up?
You know what?
Let's add tax returns to the data that
[clamoring]
- It's time, Wags.
- Almost.
I don't want this to turn
into The Who in Cincinnati.
[ dramatic music plays ]
[clamoring stops]
Lead them in.
Now you fuckers know how
much you miss this place
when you can't have it.
[clamoring continues]
No electronics, personal or otherwise,
beyond a phone will come or go.
All employees will be
issued magnetic ID bracelets
that will be necessary for entry
and exit through the turnstiles.
[Todd] People ask me what money can't buy.
In public, I say some
sort of bullshit like,
"Love and its many splendored so forth.
"
The real answer
- Not much.
- [laughter]
And the best thing is it gives me access
to the world's most fascinating people.
Like our next speaker,
the finest performance coach there is.
I'd advise you to give
her your full attention.
But I don't have to.
She'll get it.
It's what she does.
Dr.
Wendy Rhoades.
[applause]
Performance.
That's a loaded word.
Scary.
Lot of pressure.
- Not for me.
- [audience gasps, chatters]
Oh.
You can perform?
Fucking right I can.
Come back to my office and try me.
- Never had any complaints.
- [man] Nice.
[applause]
You know, they say a trained professional
can always tell when someone's lying.
That's an exaggeration.
We don't always know.
But right now, I do.
You're lying.
[audience murmurs]
Covering.
We all get complaints, right?
Struggle for you is you remember
the complaints, don't you?
They lodge deep.
They haunt you.
Because you want to believe you're perfect.
But you know you're not.
[audience whispers]
[pills shake]
That's why two billion
dollars' worth of these babies
are sold every year.
Because they bring reassurance
that when the time comes,
you can step up.
Some of you take them.
A little blue steel is
nothing to be ashamed of.
But if I threw this bottle
into the audience right now,
no one would grab it.
The thought that someone
might know you need help
is worse than not
getting the help you need.
Still, when the time comes,
when you need to pull the trigger
on the buy or sell order,
you better be hard as
a rock and ready to go,
because that is the tour
you've signed on for.
[Bobby] Millions of years ago,
a meteor hit the Earth
and brought on an ice age.
And even the mightiest T.
rexes
were reduced to fucking skeletons.
A meteor is screaming
toward this room right now
and all the rooms like it.
The entire hedge-fund industry
is under siege.
We deserve it.
We've acted as if it would go on forever.
Even as shitty returns,
the outflow of institutional money,
and the rise of quant funds have
lighted the way to our demise,
we have willfully refused to change.
In the great expanse of time,
we are already dead.
I know it even if you don't.
But in this microsecond that
we are still breathing air,
I'm gonna fight the inevitable.
If you have a card in front of you,
pick it up, hold it in front of your face.
[]
If this room represents all
the hedge funds in business,
the uncovered faces
are the only ones left in 18 months' time.
I made it.
Is that right, Mafee?
You made it?
Because this was a random fucking exercise,
and I don't see any evidence
at all that you're gonna!
Put your fucking cards down.
Trust almost killed Axe Capital.
And that is never gonna happen again.
Things got a little too free
and fucking easy around here.
And to eliminate the possibility
of any questionable information
passing from any of you to me,
all future conversations will be held
in the presence of my Chief
of Staff, Stephanie Reed.
And I mean all.
If you see me at the coffee machine,
you wait until Steph is there
before you pitch me the cream.
I am a survivor.
And I will do whatever it takes
to avoid my fate.
Ask yourselves
Are you?
You have an amazing level of insight
into how we hedgies think.
Well, if I didn't after
the time I put in
- With Axe.
-
Yes.
I don't mean Axe Capital.
I mean Bobby himself.
You've had sessions with him.
You must understand at
a molecular level almost
why he does what he does.
Well, I'm not talking
about a rising market.
I mean, we all know how to trade
once we get a little mo-mo going.
But when things get a little choppy,
does he steer into the skid
or does he retreat to look at alternatives?
I thought you'd overpaid me.
But if that's what
you're really looking for,
you weren't even close to the number.
The number doesn't exist.
I'd never sell him out.
You passed the test.
Ah.
Do I get the whole
chocolate factory now?
Yes, you do.
I thought I wanted to
bring you on full time,
but now that I know I can trust you,
I'm certain I do.
Well
that makes one of us, Todd.
I'm already set up in an office of my own
starting to see clients.
Is that permanent?
I'm not sure.
Yet.
I'm keeping my options open.
Is that a lie?
I hope not.
Anyway, why don't you
just keep an open mind,
and let's find something to
collaborate on soon, okay?
[ suspenseful music plays ]
[Hall] I have information.
- Got your homework ready?
- Yep.
All right.
I got to drop some papers off
at the development office.
I'll see you guys at pickup.
- Okay.
- Have a good day.
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
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