- You too.
I miss you guys.
- Keith, you havin' fun?
- Yes, thank you.
Oh, thank you!
Oh! I hope I can count on your support.
What are they clapping like that for?
Congratulations, ma'am.
You just broke
North Carolina's
transgender bathroom law.
What?
I've been fielding media
requests all morning, Richard.
The keynote speech was such a hit.
New York Times? Krugman is
positively creaming his khakis.
Amazing speech last
night, Governor Splett.
Thank you.
What state are you a delegate from?
- The Ukraine.
- A Wisconsin sister state.
Can I get a photo with you?
- Sure.
- Absolutely not.
Thank you, though.
How 'bout I get one of you two?
- Oh, yes.
- No, that's fine.
So sorry your wife couldn't make
the convention, Congressman.
- We have to go.
- Good seeing you.
Enjoy the convention.
Morning, ma'am.
Some disturbing rumblings
from Justice
Oh, I'm sorry.
What? It's OK, Ben.
You've
seen behind the curtain.
My source tells me that
Kemi's been kicking up
some dirt on the Meyer Fund.
- Oh, come Well, that's Leon.
- I don't know.
Why does everybody get good at
their job after I fire them?
- Lip time.
Let's do lips.
- No, no, no.
I want to save the Dubonnet for
when I get the nomination.
OK? 'Cause it's discontinued.
I'm wearing this now.
There's a simple solution for this, OK?
Just ask Kemi to be your veep.
I cannot stand her!
And I don't say that
about a lot of people.
Hmm
Plus, she called me a
criminal last night.
Kent and I were up all
night doing the numbers
In the words of the great
Eleanor Roosevelt,
I would rather cheese-grater my clit.
- So we'll put a pin in that.
- That too.
Morning.
Mom, you're a
regular bathroom warrior.
- Oh, really?
- We're very proud of you
for standing up for the trans community.
Well, thank you, Peppermint Patty,
but you're not a
Oh, no, ma'am.
I'm a cis woman.
I mean, that's not a
crazy question to ask.
Not at all.
You and your gay pals can
make me the Grand Marshal
of the next parade that you have
that messes up all the traffic.
Actually, ma'am, it's a myth
that lesbians and gay men
have any natural affinity.
As a matter of fact, Gertrude Stein
was physically disgusted
by male homosexuals.
- Excuse me?
- How'd she feel
- about tedious lesbians?
- Big fan, ma'am.
So how's the Piss Heard Round the World
playing with all the delegates?
The NYPD found a van full of
explosives at Kennedy Airport.
This is why everyone
should just fly private.
You've been completely knocked
out of the news cycle.
- Oh, God.
- Ma'am, Governor DeVito
is here to speak with
you about his speech.
OK, great! Ha ha ha.
John-boy!
- Ah.
- Johnny?
Hmm.
Is he Ah!
And there he is!
- Governor DeVito.
- Yes.
My running mate.
Well, not literally, of course but
Did you get a chance to
review my nominating speech?
I did, and I have to tell you
SOMETHING: it is a delight.
- I wouldn't change a word.
Right, Ben?
- Awesome.
Absolutely.
So I'm gonna actually talk
to Kent about some numbers.
- Kent.
- The president, she loved your speech.
Especially the line "There
are really three Americas.
"
I'm so glad you responded to that.
She's gonna use that in her speech.
Pretend to talk to me about numbers.
The most compelling number to
me is not a number at all,
- it's a concept.
- I said pretend, OK?
I was pretending.
My favorite
number is Euler's number.
She's also gonna take the line
"No matter what, I will
always stand for America.
"
- That's a reference to my leg.
- She'll tweak it.
So are we good, then? Everything cool?
- Great.
All set.
- OK.
Fantastic.
Thank you so much for coming.
Really.
Honestly.
Bye-bye.
Take care.
So good seein' ya.
Take good care.
- Madam President.
- Yeah, yeah.
We're still good on
the veep slot, right?
Oh, yeah, hundred percent.
You're my veep.
- All right.
- Great.
See you soon.
I want to offer Buddy Calhoun veep.
- OK.
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