Uh-huh.
In reality, although I
teach at the university
and lead the opposition party,
I control a telecommunication monopoly
and own the most popular soccer team,
the Tbilisi Bauxite Miners.
Well, I gotta tell you, you really
you have a lot of people fooled.
You know, I mean, even Doyle.
- Oh, Secretary Doyle, he's so gullible.
- Yeah.
If you told him that rava
ganavlis was chakapuli,
he would eat it up and ask for seconds.
I can only hope that rava
ganavlis is human shit.
It is actually what you
vomit after eating shit.
- I like you, dimples.
- (BOTH GROWLING)
(BAND PLAYING, SCREAMING)
This is fucking beast!
- It's very interesting.
- Hey, put that on.
All the cool guys wear
the band's T-shirt.
You know, the band's name
translates to Panzer Division.
What?
- I think maybe we should leave.
- Uh-huh.
- Excuse us.
Pardon me.
- Excuse me.
MINNA: What did you think of Nikolai?
Can I be uncharacteristically
blunt with you?
- I can't imagine what that
- The poison?
It did not engorge only his
face, if you know what I mean.
- I think I do.
- It also engorged his penis
and made it very unusual
texture of sea cucumber,
- so it's great for vaginal orgasms.
- Okay, Minna.
Which do you prefer, vaginal
or clitoral orgasms?
You know, I just come
and get it over with.
You can come just from your mind?
What can I do to get
you to stop talking?
Now?
Well, you have to walk 25
miles for breast cancer
and attend a WNBA game, but I
think we're gonna be okay.
What are you doing? That's my hand.
Amy, that morning when I heard you say
that you were happiest
curled up next to me
eating popcorn and
watching "Downton Abbey"
I figured it all out.
MAN: The next governor
of Nevada, Buddy Calhoun!
I was just saying that for the cameras.
Good evening, friends.
After much soul searching,
I am announcing tonight
that I'm withdrawing
- from the race for governor.
- ALL: No!
No, no, I need to get out of
this toxic world of politics
and start to appreciate the things
that really do matter in life.
- WOMAN: No, Buddy!
- Like the love of the wonderful woman
who has agreed to be my wife.
Amy, darling, come on out here, honey.
Amy.
(WOMAN SPEAKING GEORGIAN)
Murman's leading by more votes than
there are people in the country.
Yeah, maybe he's bussing
them in from Chicago.
Oh, this is not gonna stand.
This election's going down like Eleanor
Roosevelt at Dinah Shore Weekend.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, ma'am, your phone
is ringing right there.
Well, do I work for you? Just answer it.
- Okay.
- Right?
Look, you call Nikolai now.
You tell him to start spackling his face
- for his inauguration speeches.
- Shit.
- Gary, just get it.
- I will.
Okay.
Gary? Gar
(GASPS) What the fuck is that?
Please hold.
It was an accident.
- Mike voted, too, Mike voted, too.
- What?!
- I can't believe you!
- Stop it.
You two ding-dongs look like you
fingered the Incredible Hulk.
It's Murman.
It's Murman.
God.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hello, Murman.
Madam President, I trust you
are watching the returns.
Yes, yes, yes.
Listen, Murman,
as fond as I am of you personally
I really cannot accept your generous
donation to my library fund.
Madam President, let me tell you little story
about growing up in the Gurjaani countryside.
You thought you caught a fish,
it turned out to be a tire.
The tire was full of fish.
It's a great story.
It's a very valuable lesson,
but I really gotta go.
20 million.
Perhaps there could be a
fountain or a snack shop.
Well, Murman, that is a big tire
with a fuckload of fish in it.
But please understand that
whatever decision I make
is gonna be in the interest of democracy
and integrity
Oh, yes, sounds good.
Great to hear.
Bye!
- Murman?
- Mm-hmm.
How much?
20 million.
- Yahtzee.
- I mean, they're both crooks.
- What's the difference?
- $5 million.
- Exactly.
- So, I have set the wheels in motion.
In 10 minutes, there will
be a joint press conference
in which we will announce
that the IEC and USA
do not think that the elections
have been free and fair.
Good luck.
(EXHALES) Well, that is very
strong language, Minna.
Yes.
Yes, and I wonder if we might
phrase it a different way.
For instance, perhaps we would say
there have been certain irregularities
- in this election, yeah.
- Yes!
And that is not uncommon
for a young democracy.
- Yes.
- And that, therefore,
we believe that Murman is
the uncontested winner.
Now, are you aware that
that is the exact opposite
- of what you said just a moment ago?
- Yes.
But I've had time to
reflect since that moment.
My concern is I wonder if your
judgment is being clouded
by your feelings that are brought
on by Nikolai's lumpy poison cock.
Oh, my God.
Well well,
I will recuse myself.
Well, you don't need
to recuse yourself.
Immediately, I will resign.
- No, no, no, let's not overreact.
- (VOICES OVERLAPPING)
Just take a deep breath, Minna.
You're just in the middle of
what we in America call
- A difficult situation.
- a fuck fog.
Yes, and that as well.
Yeah, in Finland, we call this
the fever of the sausage.
Okay, so, then you get it.
You won't tell anyone, Selina?
Thank you so much.
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