Of course.
- (CHIMES)
- Set a reminder.
Make an appointment to freeze eggs.
(KNOCKS)
Ma'am, are you okay?
- Amy, how's the investigation going?
- Oh, uh, fine.
I mean, the investigation
of me being called a cunt.
- I knew which one you meant.
- Yeah, good.
Well, it does occur to me that we've
all got a lot on our plates right now.
Yeah.
So I think we should
push this investigation
until after everything
I want you to fire Gerry Duggan,
Phil Neary and what's her ass, Lisa
Hatch?
Yeah, I want her out of
the comms department, okay?
Because they should not
have let an article
about me being called a cunt get
out in the first place, right?
- Well, I'm not the person who
- Fire them.
- Okay.
- I am the first female president
of the United States and
this is an affront.
Yes, ma'am.
I'll tell you something, Amy.
A lot of people don't
want me to be president.
And you know why.
Because fundamentally,
people hate women, right?
I mean, they'll just stop at
nothing to get me out of here.
Everybody's trying to get me,
but I'm not gonna let them.
You okay, ma'am?
Have you ever been called a cunt?
Many times.
Well, now I have, too, apparently once.
Hey, Mom, I'm back.
You were gone? Oh, right,
you were in New Hampshire.
- Gary, is now a good time?
- Mm-hmm.
- What? He's not in charge of me.
- Mm-mmm.
I just wanted to know
can we talk for a second?
Yeah.
I feel like since Mee-Maw died,
I've had some time to reflect on things
and, you know, why things didn't
work out between me and Jason.
Uh-huh.
Or the guy in college who
wanted to watch me pee.
Or the guy with the weirdly high voice.
No, there were two guys
with weirdly high voices.
- Yeah, there were two.
- Do you remember?
- I've been trying
- BEN: Madam President.
Yeah? I have to deal with whatever
this is, okay, Catherine?
So we can talk later.
- Guys, I don't want to hear it.
- Ma'am.
Ma'am.
No, guys, you know I'm
not gonna rethink it.
- I've made the decision.
- Madam President!
That is if you'd like for
that to remain your title!
Wow.
What?
It's worse than we thought.
I ran the numbers.
Approval
rating for bailing out
your sexual partner's financial
establishment 4.
3%.
Hanukah polls higher in Mecca.
But it's the right bank
to bail out, right?
That's right, ma'am, but nobody
understands the economy.
- Literally nobody.
- Not literally.
And then I think we lose three or four
states in Congress just like that.
What would you guys do if you had to
choose between your cock and your balls?
I could lose them both.
I mean, at
this stage they're purely decorative.
Guys, you want to go out later for
some Hansong Korean Barbecue?
Korean barbecue is a travesty
and a far cry from authentic.
- I'm his plus one.
- Sue?
(SPEAKS KOREAN)
That's Korean for "I hate you.
"
Marjorie?
(QUIETLY) That is her name, right?
Sorry to do this, everyone.
But I've done some deep soul diving
and we are going to bail
out Paulsten-Berheim.
- (WHISPERS) Oh, fuck.
- Make that happen.
Thank nonexistent Jesus.
No, I don't know.
I don't
want to wear the glasses.
They're part of your relaunch.
They make you look half
smart, you fucking goon.
You know what we call people
like you back in my day?
Retards.
Tom Petty says we can't use
"Won't Back Down" anymore.
Okay, well, fuck him if he
thinks I'm gonna back down.
That's, like, the whole
point of the song.
We got the okay from Gary Glitter,
but he's in jail for child rape,
so maybe not the first choice.
Okay, all right, now listen to me.
Go out there, turn this
thing around, all right?
The widow's beating you by 30 points.
She's a retired second grade
teacher, for Christ's sake.
Yeah, who sucks and gives
too much homework.
- She's your second grade teacher?
- Yeah.
Jonah Ryan, pleasure to meet you.
Thanks for coming out, sir.
Jonah Ryan, running for Congress.
Pleasure to meet you.
Get a picture of me and
this guy's mustache.
Jonah Ryan.
Ma'am, I have
some breakfast back there.
You should really try
the corned beef hash.
It's so much more
agreeable than anything
that gets dished out in prison.
Bill.
I thought you were in the
The slammer? My lawyer got
it thrown out on appeal.
O'Brien hired me to be the Widow
Sherman's new campaign manager.
- You're kidding me.
- No, Dan.
One thing you learn in
prison is not to make jokes.
I am fructose intolerant, you nitwit.
I assume what I'm seeing is
the patented Egan touch.
I'll see you on the
campaign trail, amigo.
Tell the president no hard feelings.
Oh, wait, that's right.
I do have hard feelings.
I'm consumed by them.
JONAH: we're not in this situation.
This is done.
Dan, we got to go.
- Yeah.
Yes.
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