- Did this come from India?
- I don't know.
Did you get it?
Just all of this just
screams Grace Kelly.
- I know.
- Charlie is gonna flip.
- I don't like my eyes, though.
- What?
Yeah, I feel like I've got
two diaper bags underneath.
- No, no, no, no.
I don't think
- Oh, God.
- I need my ring.
- Okay.
(PHONE RINGS)
- SELINA: Oh, Bob.
- Evening.
Hi, you're getting ready to go
to the Whitman meeting, right?
Mm-hmm, there's never
been a Whitman's Sampler
I couldn't take apart piece by piece
and shit out, Madam President.
I love to hear that.
Okay, you're
hanging on to me like a skin tag.
Hey, you know what? Could you go and tell
Charlie I'll be just a couple minutes?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
- Thank you very much.
So listen, I talked to
Kent and he really needs
as much time as possible,
so whatever you could do
to buy more time to delay
the certifica Bob?
Bob? Are you all right? Can you hear me?
- Is there someone in here?
- What?
- What is this?
- Bob, is Richard there?
Bob, are you okay?
Oh, fuck.
You know what?
I wonder I think maybe we
should delay the meeting.
Oh, not a chance, Mr.
President.
- I'm locked and loaded.
- Madam President.
A lady president? Yeah,
maybe in the year 2000.
Bob! Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ!
- Mr.
Baird, Mr.
Baird.
I'm so sorry.
- Excuse me.
I know everybody's waiting, but she just
texted and she's running a little bit late.
You sure she just texted or did
she tweet the entire world?
(LAUGHS, COUGHS)
It's okay, she's not here.
All right, then let's just sit down.
- Wait, you want
- It's fine.
It's fine.
- She won't care.
- I don't know if
Howard, would you do me a favor
and slide over for my pal?
Sure.
I don't know if this
is such a good idea.
It's 250 grand.
I bought the table.
Sit down.
Gary is a key member of
the Meyer administration.
So kind.
Thank you.
- You have a card?
- No, just a bag.
Guys, something is
deeply wrong with Bob.
What?
I'm talking like blood
in the urine wrong.
Yes, that's what I've
been trying to tell you.
No, not now, Amy, okay?
Just focus on this.
Amy, this is really bad.
Oh, hello, ma'am.
- What's bad?
- Can I tell Amy and have her tell you?
Jonah, just speak.
What is it?
Ma'am, I've been trying to get Mr.
Bradley on the phone
with Ned Mitchell from
the "Las Vegas Gazette.
"
- Right.
- Ned Mitchell died in 2006.
And the "Las Vegas Gazette"
stopped publishing in 2007.
Oh, my God.
I was able to get in touch with
Susan Bailey at the "Reno Star,"
which is not a newspaper,
it's a legal brothel.
But she did seem excited to help the
campaign in whichever way she could.
Jesus Christ, ma'am.
I'm so sorry.
He just seemed like the
same old Bob to me.
Ma'am, this morning he told
me the Jews cause hurricanes.
He just went into this
Whitman meeting, you guys!
What if he takes a shit on
the table or something?
Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit
whenever he wants, that's a major victory.
All right, Amy, this
meeting cannot make it
past the School Book Depository.
I'm loading my gun and
heading to the sixth floor.
Well, then, go, go, go!
Ben, don't hang up.
- I've got to tell you something.
- Uh-oh.
Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack.
I think I might have told him.
Well, don't worry, ma'am.
We'll get him on the first
flight out of Nevada
and we'll shove his ass out
somewhere over Oklahoma.
Alzheimer's or no, I
image-searched Susan Bailey
and she is legit fuckable.
Hi, this is Dan, leave a message.
Shit! Thing Two.
Honestly, her rates are reasonable.
This is Richard Splett
and I'm here to say
You should leave a message
for me every day.
- Richard, call
- Your name, your number
Can you go any faster?
Amy, if you had rented
me a Sebring, yes.
Just go! Go, go!
This is like that famous
scene from the movie "Heat.
"
You know, with De Niro and Brenneman.
Just thinking about that
scene gives me goose bumps.
The fuck is going on?
Mr.
Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr.
Bradley
will be right back
very soon.
You know, I'm just gonna step out,
make sure that Bob
doesn't need anything.
- Be right back.
- (DOOR OPENS)
Good evening, everyone.
Before we start,
I would like to acknowledge the
chairman of tonight's dinner
and a longtime generous benefactor
of this unique institution,
- Mr.
Charles Baird Jr.
- Oh!
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you, Steve.
I'd
like to say dig in,
but my date is running late.
- (LAUGHTER)
- Presidents, right?
Well, hopefully she arrives
before we all turn into fossils.
(LAUGHING)
SELINA: Why is nobody answering
their phones right now?
Hang on, ma'am.
I'm gonna try Dan again.
- Hey.
- AMY: Dan, you're on with the
Dan, are your ears on mute?
I've called you like 80 times.
- You're on with the president.
- DAN: Sorry, ma'am.
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