- Splett? - Splett.
- Uh, Splett.
- Please have a seat.
Oh, thank you.
Uh, will the senator be joining us? Mr.
Ryan, we asked you here today with regard to a Mr.
Theodore Sykes.
Uh, Teddy.
We're bringing a class action against him and we'd like you to testify.
We've all been the victims of Teddy's inappropriate sexual behavior.
Am I the only man that he - As far as we know.
- Okay, all right.
Well, obviously there has been some sort of mistake here because what happened between Teddy and I was not consensual, obviously.
There was the ball The cupping The grabbing or the The clutching.
There is no shame here, Jonah.
Let it out.
Oh, I understand there's no shame because it was locker room tomfoolery and nothing more.
You're saying you weren't assaulted? Sir, you don't have to answer that.
- Oh, is this man your attorney? - No.
- Not technically.
- Let's go, right now.
Teddy can't hurt you now.
I'm not worried about Teddy.
I'm worried about you.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You all look like me.
This is a nightmare.
It's a fucking nightmare.
And just so we're clear, at no point was this a job interview? No.
And j-Okay.
Okay.
clear, Well, that was unexpected.
Yeah, I feel like I got felt up again, but this time by the law.
Just tell me what I'm doing.
Well, you're dealing with the emotional fallout of - Today, Richard.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, you have a 4:30 meeting with Congressman Skellern.
Okay, that's in Georgetown, right? So we should Uber? Oh, yeah, no.
Uber, that makes the most sense, sir.
Richard, I don't look like a middle-aged woman, do I? No, sir.
Well, you do have that one purple shirt that looks a bit blousy, but - Oh, we got Donald coming in three minutes.
- Great.
Okay, that's Congressman Hausman.
I've got him.
So who's next? This is Congressman Cheever.
- Do you remember anything about him? - Yeah.
He's got that big left ear and he has a small majority and he needs funding for infrastructure? Okay, really good.
It's just it's his right ear that's freakishly large.
- No, his right, my left.
- Aha, got it.
Okay.
Ma'am, this is the pancake brunch setup.
- General holding area here.
- Yeah.
Juices and coffees.
Hot plates and griddles.
Okay, the minute you see bubbles, you flip.
No, you flip when you see holes.
Bubbles is too soon.
Holes, not bubbles.
Okay, I flip at bubbles, but Fun fact there are three kinds of syrup.
Boysenberry, maple, and buttermilk.
Buttermilk is not a syrup.
Okay, ma'am, what if you said this? - Yeah? - Who's achin' for some bacon? No.
Okay, I can't prep anymore, all right? - Really? - I might vomit on Mike.
This bus is giving me motion sickness.
Okay, let me get you a scopolamine patch.
Fun fact scopolamine was first used as a truth serum by the Czechoslovakian state police.
How is that fun? - Mel? - Tom.
Did you lose a lot of weight or did you get six inches taller? I think you look great.
Great height and weight.
- Madam President.
- Yes.
Oh! I know you.
Yes, I know you, sir.
- Um - Congressman Hausman.
And we met before.
No, ma'am, I have never had the honor.
- Okay.
- This is my wife Beatrice.
- Hello.
How good to meet you.
- Hello.
- And I love your brooch.
- Thank you.
It's a honeybee.
Bee for Beatrice.
Fun fact about the honeybee.
Do you know how much honey a honeybee produces in its lifetime? - I do not.
- Well it's either surprisingly little or surprisingly a lot.
Chatting, nodding.
This is classic mingling.
Yeah, but it's funeral mingling.
Nobody's laughing.
She must not be using all the jokes I gave her.
This is it? You just lie here? Yeah.
Unwind.
Defocus.
Did I tell you I slept in? - Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
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