And me and Kent are about to turn into two horny cheerleaders and start making out.
So am I fired? Please, Ben, don't say that I'm fired.
- You're not fired.
- Oh, thank fuck for that.
- Because you've just resigned.
- It's a perfect fit.
Worked on the Families First bill and handsome, therefore guilty-looking.
No, no.
No.
I know about the targeting of bereaved families and the use of federal data.
You listen to me, you little fucking turd's assistant.
You don't threaten this administration because we will fucking destroy you.
We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs.
I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.
Come inside.
Hi, boys and girls.
Now, once upon a time, there were three little pigs with their mom, who was an old sow.
And she sent them out to seek their fortune.
Yeah, you know what? I, uh I think I'm gonna need a bigger title before I agree to resign.
How about Captain Loser? Or Big Chief Skidmark? And the president will be making another apology personally to the family of Jennifer Graham.
She is a young girl who did not ask to become a national debating point.
I must be their front-runner.
I already did the job for three years.
- Amy.
- I got to go.
Ben's not going.
It's Dan.
Mike's about to saw off the healthy leg.
Oh, fuck! You can be sure that the president is taking steps to ensure that appropriate action will be taken.
"Little pig, little pig, let me in.
" "No, no.
Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.
" All right, how about Deputy Assistant to the President? That's funny.
Ben, Mike's about to announce we're firing you.
No, that's funny.
So he huffed and he puffed and he blew his house in.
Now it's the president's turn to tell the story, please.
- You're the president? - Yeah, I'm the president.
Wow.
The Graham family have requested privacy and that we allow them to live a normal life.
Here's the new statement.
Get that to Mike.
I can't run in these heels.
Christian, get that to Mike now! The person with ultimate responsibility is is Dan Egan, Chief Counsel to the President? Come over here, young man.
It looks like you don't feel very good.
- Is that your son? - He's gifted.
There we go.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
- He did have a big breakfast.
- Okay.
Do you like the story that I'm reading? You do? Ew, you guys Hey, man.
Yeah, well, you know, enjoy it.
I'm not here to gloat.
I've been through this.
Just tell me which way the vultures are circling, okay? There's a big media presence by the northwest gate.
You want me to grab one? I'm going out a different door.
Taken enough fucking heat for one day.
That photo of you with the kids will play great.
- Oh, it was so good.
- Yeah.
It was like earth mother meets foster parent with a hint of girl next door.
- I need a scotch.
- Yes.
There you go.
Stay strong, buddy.
- Thanks.
- Hey, let me get this for you.
Oh, God, I meant southeast gate.
- Mr.
Egan, do you feel ashamed of your actions? - Excuse me.
I thought When we discussed, I thought that it was Ben who would be going.
Oh, right.
Yeah, actually, Bill suggested Dan.
- Ah.
- He thought it would be a good idea to keep Ben to take the heat in casthe other data shit hits the fan.
- Good thought, right? - Yeah.
- Just doing my job.
- Me, too.
Stevie, it's Dan Egan.
So, um so it looks like I am a free agent again.
Yeah, so give me a call.
It's the same number as the last two messages.
Hey, Jen, it's Dan.
Either your phone is dead or I am.
So obviously I hope it's the first one.
Josh Stansfield.
How are you? It's Dan Egan.
So, look, I And you've gone.
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