I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack.
Popped your cardiac cherry, huh, Mike? I'm gonna go talk to the president.
- Hey, Mr.
Speaker.
- Thrilled for you, ma'am.
Oh, see, you're being sarcastic, Jim.
Absolutely thrilled, really.
- Oh, no, see, that's sarcasm.
- Couldn't be more thrilled.
- That is sarcasm.
- No, it's not.
- It is, I see it.
Yeah, and oh.
- Ma'am.
Hi, Ben.
What's with that Deputy Dawg face you got going? Well, there's a lot of districts that won't support the submarine cuts.
So if you go ahead, they're gonna kill They're gonna kill my Families First, then? That's the long and shit of it.
Okay.
We're gonna have to find the money somewhere else.
Okay? Just end high school in ninth grade or something.
Just take the submarine cuts out of the speech.
Okay.
- Change it.
Hurry up.
- Yeah.
Mr.
Speaker, the President of the United States.
She's onstage.
Okay, okay, one of us needs to write some new text and I really need to stop shallow breathing.
POTUS has spoken.
We cut the cuts.
Okay, Sue, we need to go to that section of the speech.
I don't think I can edit that section and still have Selina see the top of the speech.
- Let me see what happens if I - That's what happens.
We're the first woman president.
Right? Well, I am.
You're not, Michael.
- Congratulations, ma'am.
- I'm looking at you, but I'm shaking somebody else's hand.
It's the strangest feeling.
Oh, it's you.
That is you, right? It's him.
Hurry up! How come you type with only two fingers? - You're not a sloth.
- No, wait, she's got the hard copy, right? I mean, that's her backup chute right there.
Great, she reads that while we edit this.
- Okay.
Okay.
- I have her glasses.
- What? - I've got her glasses.
You should not have those.
Why have you blinded the president, Gary? They were ruining the line of her dress and - Mr.
Walsh.
- No one hates me more than I hate myself.
You're wrong there.
You run into the chamber and you give her the glasses and you keep running until you hit the ocean.
Go, Gary.
Chamber, now.
Too late, she's already at the podium.
Well, I've killed her.
I've killed her, okay? Thank you, Mr.
Speaker - God, God, God.
- Mr.
Vice President, members of Congress, my fellow Americans.
I'd like to begin today by saying a few words.
I'd like to ask for some time to think about President Hughes and the former First Lady.
So let's let's take a moment to bow our heads and remember their contribution to this great nation.
They're not dead.
Ha ha ha! I've done it! I rule so hard.
Don't stop.
Give me the USB.
Oh, shit.
I always get it wrong.
It's a 50-50 chance.
I never get the right side up.
God bless them.
What people, what people.
There are literally no words.
Come on, come on.
Hurry up.
People want to know who I am and I want to tell them so much.
It is up and the eagle has noticed.
Whoo! My entire career just flashed before my eyes.
It was incredibly impressive.
That its government was in safe hands.
No, that's that's the wrong phrase.
- Huh? What? - Hmm? I think I put the new stuff in Mike11A1, not Mike11A1A.
But that could be the other way around.
This version still has placeholders in it and the next section just says "future whatever.
" So today I don't just want to talk about the present.
I want to talk about the future.
Whatever we have in store cannot be known.
But given time, it it can be understood.
The past was once the future.
The future is, I should say, unknown.
It is in fact unknowable.
She's bebop speaking.
So I'm asking you to meet me at the station and join me as we board a train bound for a place called the future.
I detest jazz, but this is impressive.
And we will be ready for that future whatever.
I'm almost crying.
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