I mean, I lose women and what am I left with? I'm left with gay Latinos and Jews at college, I guess.
Does someone please want to tell me why Danny Chung is on this television? Even Selina Meyers supporters are not supporting her.
Now, speaking as a military man, if you lose the trust of the men and women on the ground I've got to take this fucker out.
I have to succeed where the Republican Guard failed.
All while doing 10 million other little things.
It is called multitasking, Dan.
I do it every Damn it.
You just typed the word multitasking, didn't you? No.
Yeah, Amy, Fracking Lady.
Want me to get her in here or shut her down? What do you want me to do? Tame her or shame her? Either.
Both.
And quickly.
- Oh, well, this is fuckin' terrible.
- I know.
You know, they say all babies are cute, but whoever "they" are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic.
No, no, I'm not talking about that.
Jonah's got a new post up.
And he's getting hits.
Not the kind he deserves, either.
So, the Veep's gone to Silicon Valley of the Dolls.
And instead of California dreaming, she's got 'em Califomia screaming.
And that's why drinking chemical sludge is good for you.
What? But We been drinking that track water, and took what it's gone done to my titty milk! My baby, Oh, my baby! Vice President's office, secure line.
Sue.
Sue-ster.
Sue of steel.
Sue-Sue-Sue-dio.
Jonah, get off the line.
And then the planet.
Sue, have you seen my viral Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
Kent Davison on line three.
- Mr.
Davison? - Dan-zibar, what's happening? Hey, have you seen my viral? Dan, we need to break this Cassie bitch, the British dick who invented the Internet, and anybody in between.
- Yeah, yeah.
What about Jonah? - Jonah? Here.
Hey, fucking pencil neck.
He just swallowed his phone in fear.
- Look, Dan, fix this.
- I will get right on it, sir.
Then we'll hit O'Malley's at 8:00 for a beer or 10.
I'd ask Mike, but he's too happy now that he's married.
- Oh, thank you.
I look forward to that.
- Too happy.
It's obvious that I would make the best campaign manager.
I'm not asking you to tell her that, but please, would someone fuckin' tell her that? Take it from me, Dan, in a couple of months on this job, you'll go from those six-pack abs to this keg.
I haven't seen my penis since the first Gulf War, and I kinda miss the little guy.
I mean, I know that I can do it.
So how low can you go, Dan Egan? How down and dirty are you willing to get? Pretty grubby.
I would definitely need regular showers, for sure.
If someone brought you this Chung Iraq thing, you'd just tell 'em it's fuckin' bullshit, which it is.
What Chung Iraq thing? You know how Chung just bores the shit out of you, right? Well, it seems his unit in Iraq did that to some poor slob with a drill.
But that's, you know, it's just nut fluff.
I mean That's unusable, don't you think? Yeah.
Hey, could we get two more? Yeah, and a couple of whiskey chasers? It's still Tuesday for another six minutes.
Mike, I am balls deep in this omelet.
Can you please call this Cassie woman and invite her to Washington already? How come I don't have a "tell what to do guy"? - Amy? Amy? - Hmm? - Did you see that hot guy? - No.
He just came out of Gary's room.
- No.
- Yeah.
- What are you - What is going on with that? - No, he Another room or something.
- Yeah.
Hi! Hey, is that egg whites or is it - It's an egg white.
- That? Well, it's a few egg whites.
- Right, and some broccoli.
- You good? You excited about Clovis? Sure.
Ma'am, I want you to bring your A-game to the Craig Jergensen meet.
He's rich, as in wipe-out-the-deficit rich.
- How old is he? - 26.
Oh, my God.
See, that's wrong.
That's too young.
No, you shouldn't make your first million until you're in your 30s.
That's what Andrew and I did.
It kept us completely grounded.
Yeah.
- Oh, isn't this nice? Oh, poor kids, they don't realize they're all gonna be executed by the time they turn 30.
Wow, look at Oh, look here.
Madam Vice President, welcome to Clovis.
Melissa, so good to see you.
Melissa Conners, chief financial officer.
I am the oldest person at Clovis by five years.
I feel ancient.
You must be 12 years old, then.
I'm not, no.
No, no, this is Amy Brookheimer, my chief of staff.
- We know all about you, Amy.
- Hmm.
- Let me show you Clovis.
- Fantastic.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Well, I'm really looking forward to meeting Craig.
Absolutely, although it is pronounced Cray-eeg.
- Craig.
Yeah.
- Cray-eeg.
- C-R-A-I-G.
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