Which made it even worse! The fact is that your post has made it impossible to sit on the POTUS' secret any longer, so as a direct result of your actions, the President of the United States is bringing forward the announcement to today that he is not running for re-election.
We'll alert the networks there's gonna be alive announcement.
Don't interrupt any major sporting event unless it's golf.
And get him out of here, via his desk.
Lord knows what you'll find in there.
I'm sorry.
I think you might be overreacting to this.
No, Terrence.
What am I gonna do? Am I gonna hit him? Sir, please, don't take this away from me.
The West Wing is part of my DNA and vice verse.
Okay, this is a teachable moment, and I think You're embarrassing yourself.
Sir, I don't have anything else in my life.
- He really doesn't.
-See? Exactly.
Thank you, Dan.
- Fuck you, Dan! -That'll be all, Mr.
Ryan.
- Sir, did POTUS okay this? -Get him out of here! How did you survive Blake? - Tell me you're okay.
- Are you kidding me? That bag of wrist slits got the nomination? With that face and that personality? I mean, look at what I got to work with.
Where's Ericsson? I just heard that he bolted back to DC when the Maddox news came out.
All right.
Fuck it.
I don't need a team, I don't need a campaign manager.
You think I got here just 'cause I got $50 million in the bank -and this amazing ass? -No.
Oh All right, Cowgill was your congressman, so give me some facts about him.
Go.
Now.
- He was an amazing fisherman.
-Okay.
And he collected beer labels.
What are you gonna do with that? I'm going to read a poem - by Rick's granddaughter, Maeve.
It's Well, you'll see.
"We love you, and we'll miss your face, "husband, father' granddad.
"You made the world a better place.
"And now you left it sad.
" Good afternoon.
Well, I was planning on keeping this brief.
In fact, I was gonna say "short," but I know how sensitive Rick was about his height.
You think you've seen the end of Jonah Ryan? You haven't even seen the start of Jonah Ryan! I'm leaving here with my head held high and my nuts hanging low on your mom's chin, Martin.
- You got your porn stash there! Any last words? Fuck you Rick's life reflects America.
He was an avid fisherman.
And as a congressman, gosh, did he know how to cast upstream, to anticipate it.
And when he got that first bite, whoa, did he reel it in.
He was a nuanced politician with a mighty big collection of beer labels.
I'll be back.
- I'm gonna be back as the fucking president.
Jonah Ryan, 2026! That's a mid-terms year, Jonah.
Well, then, I'll change it! I'm gonna miss you, Rick Cowgill, fisherman, congressman, American.
Well, I blew the fuckin' roof off of this church, didn't I? They loved that beer labels anecdote.
Why would anyone collect those? Yeah? Maddox canceled his statement, because POTUS is going to make one.
The big one.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? I'm never ambiguous, ma'am.
Not even sexually.
Ben! I love politics.
- Me too, ma'am.
-Ma'am? - Yeah? - I've got Dan.
Oh, Dan.
Hey, Dan.
Ma'am.
Yes, the Maddox statement.
Yeah.
I know, POTUS is about to make a statement.
Ben just told me.
Well, did he tell you that it was because a lot of people saw a post -that Jonah made that I forwarded? What? You did this? Well, I don't like to toot my own horn, but Yes, yes, I did.
And just like that, Jonah is gone, forever.
Well, all my orgasms have come at once.
- That's fantastic.
Um - Yeah, yeah.
Now, listen, ma'am, I wanted to ask you - Yeah? -would you do me the honor of making me your campaign manager? Oh, I've gotta go.
Thank you, Dan.
All right, Richard Listen, I want to tell you No, thank you, ma'am.
Until tomorrow.
What? Tomorrow? Book tour, day six.
Cedar Rapids, here we come.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I hate politics.
Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.
Come here.
- Remember that Jonah guy? Jonah? - Oh, the seven-foot mouth? -Yeah.
Look at this.
What if I give out the Wi-Fi password out to everybody on Pennsylvania Avenue, huh? Oh, God.
Are you kidding me? He's gone! This is the best day of my life! - On.
- Hey.
- Come on! Ladies and gentlemen, Vice President Selina Meyer! Whoo! You should be here! I wanted to say a few words and speak very frankly.
I was gonna say "baldly," but I know how sensitive Mike is about his hair.
We all know how much Mike loves his boat.
And I'll tell you something.
If he ever chose to fish, I know that he'd be able to cast upstream, to anticipate, and at that very first bite, reel it in.
-'Cause that's the kind of guy that Mike is.
- Aw.
Oh, gosh.
I'm going to miss him when he goes on his honeymoon.
So, here's to Mike and Wendy.
"Some New Beginnings: "Their Next American Journey"!
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