They suck.
You know, my papaw used to say, "it's always darkest before the storm.
" So Oh, the dawn, the dawn.
"It's always darkest before the dawn.
" And then he would kiss me.
All right, this might sound crazy, but go with it.
Her crying was very authentic and humanizing.
Okay.
I like your thinking.
I actually found it slightly erotic, too.
I take it back.
That's why it took me so long to split up with Angie.
She'd always cry, I'd always get a hard-on.
- Now you've lost me.
- Listen.
We should spitball on this, though.
The crying game play, all right? All we've got to do is set her up and let the cameras roll.
Then we've just got to tweak the tear nipple.
How do we make it happen? Could spray her with pepper spray.
Call her fat.
Kidding.
What is it that made her cry? It's Catherine, right? The absent mother blubber.
- Genius.
- Yeah.
Chinese daughter torture.
It's a good one.
I can't believe we're doing this.
On the other hand, we are currently polling lower than a side of beef with eyes drawn on it, so - Okay, ma'am, light and frothy.
- Yeah.
Cappuccino politics, okay? Big three industries in Ohio - Rubber, petrochemical, agriculture.
- Right.
Okay.
- Hit rubber.
It's a big rubber state.
- Okay.
Good.
Yeah.
What is that, a fax? Is that a message to yourself from 1988? Look who's playing golf with the president.
Danny Chung.
- Chung.
- Shut up.
- What is that? - Don't worry about it.
Felicia, one second.
Feel free to dive right in on the daughter, okay? 'Cause we want to hit these disapproval ratings head on.
See, when he says things like that to me, it makes me anxious.
We just found out that governor Chung is golfing with potus.
- So, if you want to talk about that - All right.
Thank you so much.
It is just great to be back in the state of Ohio.
Been a rough couple of months for you, though.
Your filibuster reform stalled.
Clean jobs initiative, dead in the water.
You talk a lot about really wanting to be able to make change.
Do you still think you're gonna be able to make that happen? Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I'm very proud of what we've been able to achieve thus far.
So you feel you're back in the game? Well, it's not a game to me.
Must be very hurtful to you, too, with all the gossip going around.
Is she gonna go? I just understand today that the president is golfing with governor Chung.
Does that bother you? Well, I mean, the president can play golf with whoever he likes.
But I'm here because I have work to do.
It's 24/7.
It's a public duty.
much time for your family, your daughter.
Well, I mean, it's a punishing schedule, that's for sure.
I mean, you get you get tired and you get knocked knocked back.
But Can you imagine, Felicia, if I'm tired, imagine how tired the rubber makers are here in Ohio.
She is magnificent.
Making rubber day in and day out.
I feel that Ohio is the rubber ball state, if you think about it.
Always bouncing back.
I don't know what the hell she could have been thinking.
When was the last time you cried twice in one day? It was a little more recently than you'd think.
Oddjob.
Come here.
What the fuck gives with your boss? I saw the meltdown.
Congressman, I saw passion.
I saw conviction.
I saw a fucking crazy lady.
That's what I saw.
If she mentions my name, if I get the stamp of approval, the midas touch from Jenny shitfinger, I'm coming for you, pal.
Me and the congress of the United States will get your ass.
Yes, sir.
Ask your buddy Macauley about it.
Maybe he can help you.
The vice president.
Hello! Yes.
I see you.
Oh, wow, look at this group.
Are they gonna live long enough to make it to election day, right behind me? Probably not.
Hello, children who do not vote.
We're getting great media response to the interview.
- Are you getting this, too? - No, better.
I've been polling the room.
It's warm, it's friendly.
If this plays in Ohio, it's gonna go national.
Come on, Amy.
- Marcus.
- What? I made you a cake with your face on it.
Are you kidding me? Oh! That looks like me after a long day in the Senate.
I think she's only paid 50 bucks.
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