It's a shitty nickname.
Well, I'm just not gonna accept this.
Oh, my God.
I'd have more power in my hands if I joined one of those moronic Segway tours of D.
C.
I mean, do you have any idea what I have lost here today? Do you? Really? Are you not gonna say anything? Jesus! Dan, did your boyfriend know anything about this? I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence.
That's like trying to use a croissant - as a fucking dildo.
- I thought No, no, no.
Let me be more clear.
It doesn't do the job and it makes a fucking mess! Get out of my office.
- Gary! - Yes, ma'am? Yes, ma'am? - I need something.
- Okay, is there anything specific? I don't fucking know.
I just need something.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm gonna call that stupid potus myself.
Seriously, I'm gonna tell him to shove it up his ass.
I don't see any reason Ma'am, why don't we just wait this out, okay? "Why don't we just wait this out?" Is that what you're gonna suggest? Remind me never to get trapped inside a burning building with you, Mike.
- I'm very good in a fire.
- Ma'am, if I may.
I think I have an idea.
What if we went to a friendly senator and suggested that he or she take the best parts of clean jobs the sanctions on polluters, tax breaks for the good guys then added that as an amendment to the fiscal responsibility bill? Well, that would get the meat of clean jobs through, wouldn't it? It would also mean we'd go against the President's wishes.
- That's provocative, ma'am.
- Yeah.
Well, I feel like provoking someone.
I really do, Mike.
I'm feeling very fucking provocative.
I'm aware of that, ma'am.
The President won't like that.
I can tell you that right now.
- This is the bear trap.
- I know, you're right.
We can't do this.
Can we? We can't.
We can do anything we want if we really want to.
What is this? "Eat, Pray, fucking Love"? - Give me a minute.
- I can't be seen sneaking through legislation behind the President's back.
I mean, that would be insane.
It would be disloyal.
Ma'am, Senator Macauley loves this bill and he may decide to do it anyway.
Well, if Senator Macauley wants to do it himself, then that's great, you know? It's just that I can't be seen doing it.
Okay? Okay? Ma'am, I got you a little bit of ice cream.
I thought that might be just what you wanted.
That is just exactly what I wanted.
- Would you get me some whipped cream? - Yeah, give me a minute.
I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't because I didn't know if you already knew, but my loyalty is with potus.
Bullshit.
You didn't know he was gonna roll over on clean jobs.
- You had no fucking idea.
- Dan, I had a fucking idea.
You know what, Jonah? I don't think that we should see each other anymore.
- Come on.
- Sorry.
So you're saying that just because I'm not as close to potus as you thought I was, that means that we can't hang out anymore? What I'm saying, you fucking ape, is that you are a useless waste of fucking carbon.
I've been trying to cynically use you, but you're so fucking low-rent, you can't even be exploited.
Not to mention the fact any restaurant that serves anything in a fuckload is not a nice restaurant.
Where is the bread at this place, asshole? - And you, you upstate New York dickshit - Watch it.
Yeah, I'll talk about upstate New York.
You guys think you're fucking New York, but you're not.
And you with your perpetual 5:00 shadow, you're not that great to be around.
I don't like you, Dan.
Really? I think you do.
I think you're a little sweet on me, Jonah.
That's why you're so upset.
You know what, Dan? You're a fucking dick.
Well, careful when you go to sleep tonight, asshole.
Maybe I'll sneak into your apartment with a bag of oranges and fructose you to death.
Hey, we should send potus a postcard from Paris.
What's the French for "shove it up your ass"? God, Parisian women really intimidate me.
Why? I don't know.
They're so Parisian.
You're as stylish as any Parisian woman.
Oh, thank you.
- Oh, so are you.
- Thank you.
That took too long, didn't it? - We can't go to Paris.
- Shit.
No, whoa, whoa.
We got all those tours lined up.
- What are you talk - Be quiet.
What? They're anticipating another tied vote in the Senate.
You need to head back to preside again.
- It's gavel time.
- What bill is it? - That was a play on "it's hammer time.
" - I know.
What bill is it? No.
No.
It's the Macauley amendment? Yeah.
It's the meat of clean jobs.
- Oh.
- Which way are you gonna vote? The way that my principles and conscience tell me to go.
Okay.
Which way do you think that should be? Look, you already know my feelings on this.
The President does not want the clean jobs amendment passed in any form.
Dan, talk, please.
If it comes down to a tie, vote for.
- You back your own policy.
- Yeah? You think so? - No.
- Yes.
So you are actually saying that you want me to destroy the policy that you and I have been working on for months, actually years if you think about it, Amy? - Yes.
- Wow.
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