Wow, Gary.
Good for you.
Good for oh.
Excuse me.
Hey, all right.
Yeah, although I did have to make a deal with Jonah.
Amy's got to go on a date with him tonight.
Oh, no, she's not.
Well, he doesn't want to have sex with you.
He just wants dinner and a movie.
No, Amy is not going on a date with Jonah.
Get a grip.
It's a date and no sex.
For me, that was - I'll get you guys a motel.
- Ugh.
Selina: Oh, God, no! Make a hole! Make a hole! Make a hole! - Oh, my God.
- Look at this.
- What? What? - Look.
The President already signed this one.
Okay? We're gonna have to forge the President's signature on the new one.
Gary: Well, that's a capital offense.
Yeah, you could be legally electrocuted for doing that, just so you know.
I'm not here.
I have plausible deniability.
Dan: Look, I'll do it.
I got it.
The key is you do it upside down.
That is extraordinary.
Is there anything you can't do? Amy: Foreplay, direct sunlight.
- Ma'am, I am at your service.
- Um, Amy, yes.
I wanted to talk to you about this.
I have offered Dan a permanent post - here in the office.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Not a problem.
I'll get the BlackBerry fired up.
- Sounds good to me.
- Here we go.
- Do you have a second? - Sure.
- You hired him? - Mm-hmm.
You hired the biggest bastard in D.
C.
? Oh, yeah, well, I'm fluent in bastard.
Okay? It's one of my languages.
Amy, I used Dan to get what I wanted.
He used you to get what he wanted.
Uh-uh, no.
I definitely used him.
I'm the user, and he's the usee.
Okay, Amy, here we go.
Shrimp Linguini and a porno.
Oh, hey.
I'm just kidding.
It's chicken Linguini.
I'll be over here.
Dan is manipulative.
He is cunning.
I know.
That's why I hired him.
Why aren't you listening to me? In six months, when all this bullshit dies down, we're gonna put an oil guy on the clean jobs commission.
You're pouring oil on clean jobs? Oh, please, please, Amy, grow up.
This is how they solved the Cuban missile crisis.
This is my Cuba.
Did Dan tell you that this is your Cuba? He's such a shit.
I know, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
You sold him to me as a shit and that's why I hired him.
He's shitty me, okay? I need a shit.
- You are so going to regret - Amy, I need a shit.
- Knock, knock.
Hello.
- Hello.
Bob Jeffries of the Plastics and Cellulose Association.
- Madam Vice President.
- How do you do? - Please, come into my office.
- Thank you so much.
Do you know that I have my own flag? Well, I hope that's one of our cellulose flags.
Oh, you're too much.
Jonah: Your chariot awaits.
So, yeah, grab your coat.
Okay, little Jack Horner, there you are.
You got a brand-new desk in the corner.
Follow me, I've got a beautiful spot for your adoring photo of girlfriend Carol Hallowes.
Actually, she's not my girlfriend anymore.
I just broke up with her about - Well, cold and rather nerdy.
- Actually, it was an app.
All right, move out.
Slick's moving in.
Selina: Gary, can we get two coffees in here? No sweeteners.
- Gary: No sweeteners? - Sugar.
- No sweeteners? - No sweeteners.
Sugar.
Touch me and you lose a finger.
And a ball.
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