Can you do that? Can you do that? Can you get Hallowes now? Of course I can.
You can just shut it down.
- Yeah.
Go, go, go.
- Shut it down.
- You should mingle.
- Mingle? - Yeah.
- What? How do you suggest that I mingle with this few people? Did Simon mingle with Garfunkel? Well, they work together.
They probably socialized together.
I'm sure they did, right? Madam Vice President.
Hi, I'm Dan Egan.
I'm director of communications for senator Hallowes.
- Oh, good.
- Currently.
I just want to say that I'm a huge fan - of the clean jobs initiative.
- Oh, thank you.
Well, you know what I say, it's a dirty job and I love to do it.
- Ha, that's funny.
I actually - Barbara? - Selina, hi.
- Hi.
The Vice President, or VEEP, has managed to punch her way through Thank you, Dan.
Yeah.
Barbara, it's so good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
- What have I been missing here? Power.
I'm kidding! - Oh, Selina.
- I know.
I know.
Coffee for the Vice President, please, Dan.
Guess what? I've managed to get a fresh batch of those European sweeners you like so much.
Oh, thanks, Gary.
Yeah, they're great sweeteners.
They are awful.
Actually, they're just sweeteners I got at a NATO meeting last year.
They really taste rather Uh, unpleasant.
Kind of bitter.
So, Dan, are you enjoying working for Hallowes? Not really.
She's middle of the road.
She's mediocre, really.
Of all the -ocres, she's the mediest.
Do I add water to this machine? It's like a bot.
It's a nice bag, Gary.
You know, he calls that "The Leviathan.
" Ooh, you got the nuclear codes in there, buddy? Is there a pouch or something that I put into this? You still got that guy Mike in your press shop? - Yes.
- He ran press for Moses, didn't he? - Oh, God.
- Is there like an espresso thing? - A little podule or anything? - Jesus fucking Christ.
All right, look, watch me, autismo.
You take the little pod, put the little pod in the fucking hole, shut the fucking lid, hit the fucking button for two fucking seconds.
- Oh, it's so easy.
- Too quick, I didn't see it.
Yeah, well, next time pack an espresso machine in your big fuckin' bitch bag.
- Oh, my God.
- Dan seems nice.
- He's new.
- Oh, he is great.
Very loyal.
I got him from an Ohio congresswoman.
You know, he's dating my daughter.
- You're kidding.
Janet? - No.
Of course not.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
I meant, um, Carol.
Carol.
- How are your kids? - Uh, she's good.
- I understand you're busy.
- I am.
But I wanted to talk to you about coming on board the clean jobs commission.
To get plastics off your back? No, sorry, Selina.
That would be bad for me.
Oh, come on.
They're not gonna pull funding over this.
Honey, what is plastics made of? You piss off plastics, you piss off oil.
And you do not want to fuck with those guys because they fuck in a very unpleasant fashion.
Barbara, are you really willing to sell your soul to the guys who make toothbrushes and and and and and the holders for toothbrushes? Yeah, they're the guys who fund the members of your clean jobs commission.
I could draw you a diagram, but it would be a very simple diagram.
Oh, I can handle geometry, Barbara, all right? - Come on, I've got to get going.
- Yes, well, I have a ton on my agenda as well.
Watch this.
Uh, senator Reeves just died.
Oh.
- Oh.
- Rapey Reeves.
He was the first senator to welcome me to the Capitol, you know? He was old even then.
- Was he full of wisdom? - He was full of bourbon.
And he grabbed my left tit.
- Remember that? - And God rest his soul.
Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet? Because that guy is a weapons-grade retard.
I think you might have been hoist by your own retard there.
That's a good one.
Your own retard.
Nice.
- See you downstairs.
- Yeah.
- Honor to have met you, madam.
- Oh, thank you, Dan.
I really admired your primaries campaign.
Oh, how nice.
Thank you very much.
Two things I would have done differently.
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