1
Oh, it's-it's you again.
Okay, here's-here's what
Here's what happened.
Carrie put on this brown wig
and was running out into traffic,
and the guy I thought
was the bad guy isn't,
and her boyfriend is the suicide bomber.
You believe that shit? [laughs]
- [man] Wrong show, Frank.
- What?
[man] That's Homeland, not Shameless.
Oh.
Fuck.
Wow.
Don't mix Percocet with beer.
[rock music]
- Who's the new barback?
- [Veronica] That's Santiago.
He's staying with us until
we find his father.
They were gonna go live
with his uncle in Indiana.
How are we gonna find some
random Guatemalan guy
in Gary, Indiana?
I did a web search: "Where to find
illegal immigrants, Gary, Indiana.
"
Got a whole list of places.
[Tommy] You find Santiago's uncle?
Oh, yeah.
Found him and then lost him.
Fly, my Mexican friend!
- Guatemalan.
- Guatemalan friend!
Fly!
Liam, your share of the
bills this month: $70.
- I'm nine.
- Figure it out.
Carl, your share of the bill
this month is 70 bucks.
Maybe you should get a real job
and stop hanging out with
your girlfriend so much.
Ingrid and I are pregnant.
- Triplets?
- Sextuplets.
And we're hiding from a North Korean
fertility specialist, so make room.
- We are moving in.
- Oh, that's hysterical.
Do you really think we can
afford more than one?
You'll get a job.
[laughs]
"Dreams dead? You're our man.
Be the Hobo Loco Man.
"
Kev, what is this?
They're holding a competition
to choose the Hobo Loco spokesperson.
The winner gets a $50,000 contract
to be in a social media campaign.
This is me.
I'm the Hobo Loco Man.
You smell like a barroom floor.
I don't need anything from you!
- She do this a lot?
- [Lip] Yeah.
Well, lately.
[rock music]
Think of all the luck you got
Know that it's not for naught
You were beaming once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
Round up the friends you got
Know that they're not for naught
You were willing once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
[distant siren wailing]
[train rumbling]
[rock music]
Silicone sour
Burning the hours of the night away
In retro bass
From the east side moving right away
You're a satellite
[humming]
And I'm on your website
Miley doesn't miss you
She got the spread
on the college issue
You're gonna try to save her
You start to blame her
Oh, shit.
You open?
So you gotta be famous
Twenty-four hours.
It's a golden age
You sit wherever you want.
It's a golden age
It's a golden age
I'll bring menus to you.
Are you hiring?
It's a golden age
What?
I'm a hard worker.
[radio clicks off]
How about this booth right over here?
Got any more where this came from?
Couple hours after last call,
but get you some coffee.
So you're just drinking
on the job, then?
Everything okay out here, Fiona?
Let's get out of here.
[Fiona softly] Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
You all right?
Yeah.
Good.
[rock music]
Nothing but junk mail.
Rat shit in the attic.
Fires in the dryer vent.
These ads are terrifying.
Carbon monoxide leaks from the furnace?
Fiona always handled this shit.
Should I be worried about these things?
Ah, homeowner stuff.
Sucks to be an adult.
What? I'm eating for seven now.
Well, then all seven
of you are gonna need
to cough up cash if you're
gonna be living here.
All right.
I'm gonna do some therapy sessions
on the phone this afternoon.
I'll write you a check later.
[Debbie] Hey.
Where you guys going?
Softball camp.
I got a call from one of
those 20 jobs I applied for.
Nice.
Which one?
Some seafood restaurant place.
Carl Gallagher's going legit.
Minimum wage?
Only job someone like me can get.
You know, you really
can't put "drug dealer"
or "gunrunner" on your West Point app.
Come on, babe.
[Liam] Can we call the plumber guy?
Says he can snake our tub for ten bucks.
What's wrong with our tub?
It has two inches of scummy water in it
all the time that doesn't drain.
Good morning, family one.
Family two.
Why do you look like a farm animal?
[Liam] Smell like one too.
Your father is gonna
be the new Hobo Loco
beverage spokesperson.
Now, I haven't won the
competition yet, Ingy.
Hobo what-o?
It's a delicious alcoholic beverage.
They're looking for someone
with no purpose in life.
I finally found my calling.
Soon I'll be able to
support those I love.
Oh, yeah.
Wish me luck.
Oh, you go get 'em, my Hobo Loco tiger.
Good-bye, little Frank-ettes.
[both sigh]
No need to even hold a competition.
If it involves alcohol,
they should just give him the prize.
Think we need to worry about termites?
[train rumbling]
The hell's going on?
Jesus, it's almost 7:30.
Place is closed.
W-well, where's Fiona?
We already turned away
a bunch of customers.
Well, let's get set up fast
so we don't lose any more business.
Okay, let's get the coffee going.
Fire up the grills.
Make sure the ketchups are married.
I'll get the blinds.
All right, set the tables.
Let's go, guys.
Come on.
Hey, Eliza.
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