1
Oh, God.
You seriously don't remember what
happened last week on Shameless?
Roll the tape.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- [IAN] My God's a faggot.
My God's a dyke, a whore!
[WAILS HOARSELY]
[DEBBIE] If I pass out, keep going.
Do not stop until you cut off all three.
Two left.
But I hope you tire out soon.
[EXHALES] Here.
- The fuck is this?
- This is a piece of shit
that you're gonna turn
into not-a-piece-of-shit.
I've always wanted to ride a Jet Ski.
Dylan said I could use the yellow one.
What does Dylan's father do that he
has a yacht and a private plane?
Wanna grab breakfast?
Gotta get to the crib.
My
niece is getting dropped off.
[SVETLANA] Freelania,
you have everything.
- [GASPS]
- Vera made this for me.
How did you make this all happen?
[SVETLANA GRUNTS]
[KEV] Jesus.
What do you got in there, a dead body?
I do not believe she's dead yet.
Don't forget dinner at The Grill.
I wanna show off my
beautiful bride-to-be.
[KASSIDI] Yes, I'll marry you!
Fucking hell yes! [GASPING]
[CARL] What the fuck? You
cut up all my uniforms?
[CARL] been okay with me
going back to school now
- 'cause we're married!
- I will never be okay
with being away from you, bae! Never!
[FIONA] I let you stay in my
apartment and you sue me?
So what's the worst case?
You're gonna be lucky if
they don't put you in jail.
- [DOG WHIMPERS]
- Rusty!
[FIONA] They are going down.
[ROCK MUSIC]
Think of all the luck you got
Know that it's not for naught
You were beaming once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
Round up the friends you got
Know that they're not for naught
You were willing once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
[MURMURS]
[GENTLE MUSIC]
[SIERRA] Where are you going?
I'm going to work.
Go
back to sleep, all right?
I'm proud of you.
- What?
- This last year
you're strong.
I didn't know that before.
Thanks.
Can we stay at my place tonight?
Uh yeah.
Yeah, sure.
That'd be good, all right?
I love you.
I love you too.
Get some sleep.
[GLASS SQUEAKING]
Close the fucking door!
What the hell are you doing?
I gotta run some errands and
she's already downstairs.
I gotta get clothes and a new duffel.
- She tore up all my old shit.
- Hm.
When you go down, tell her
I'm in the shower, okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, how long
[URINATING]
Morning!
Hey.
Oh, uh, Carl's in the shower.
I'm whipping up waffles.
[GIGGLES]
Oh, um Liam is asleep
out in the backyard.
Is that normal?
[WAFFLE MACHINE BEEPS]
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
Hey.
[LIAM MURMURS]
Hey, Liam.
Hey, buddy.
I think you were sleepwalking again.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Hey, are those my keys?
I don't know.
What is it with you and keys, huh?
[CHUCKLES] All right, come on.
Let's get you inside.
There you go, Papa Frank.
Thank you, favorite daughter-in-law.
- [MURMURS PLEASANTLY]
- Only daughter-in-law.
Liam.
Sit.
[LIP] Hey, uh, would you
save Lucas a waffle?
I gotta go to work
and he and Sierra spent the night.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- I met your friend Dylan's dad.
You tell him I can go on
the yacht vacation with them tomorrow?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[QUIETLY] I looked the man up.
He makes nothing.
He creates nothing.
He buys businesses, tears them apart,
sells the pieces,
and then discards the
employees like trash.
He's a legal thief.
[KASSIDI] Here you are, Liam.
- Thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.
He wants the companies to fail.
The world's not just, Liam.
No one's gonna take care
of us in our old age.
We have a moral duty to
rip this asshole off.
You know how to take photos with this?
- Mm-hmm.
- What is keeping Carl?
His bacon's getting cold.
[SIGHS]
[CRUTCH CLANKING]
What's with the boot? I
cauterized the stumps.
[SIGHS] They were still bleeding,
- so I went to the ER.
- [SCOFFS]
Waste of money.
Cauterization has been used
since the Egyptians
were building pyramids.
Are those waffles? Yum.
So can I go on the cruise
with Dylan's family or not?
Well are we partners?
[MONOTONE] Yeah.
Okay, good.
I'm very proud to be your partner.
And your job, partner,
is to go to the Caribbean
and have a great time.
After you get the code.
- The code?
- To turn off the alarm.
And pics of their valuables
and of the security system.
One more big score, I
can retire in style.
[KASSIDI] Carl! You motherfucker!
What the hell was that?
Marital bliss.
- So now what?
- [SVETLANA] Well,
I steal her wedding dress, I
take her place at wedding
and marry rich old man
with saggy diaper.
You don't think he's gonna
notice the difference?
He thought I was her.
He is weak in the head.
What about the wedding guests?
I wear a veil.
No one will see.
[OMINOUS CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING FROM PHONE]
- Kev.
- What?
- Get her phone.
- You get her phone.
I get it.
Hold machete.
She tries anything, you
cut her face, okay?
No way.
I'm not slashing her face
if she tries to make a run for it.
[PHONE CHIMES]
"Zlata"?
Shit.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Her mother is coming to the wedding.
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