10. Church of Gay Jesus (第8季)【完整台词】

Hey, um, I found this going through his paperwork.

It's a draft of a recommendation letter.

Thought you might want it.

You know, in all of his years of teaching, I never heard him talk about a student like that.

He says he's amazed by your mind.

You don't want to keep it? Oh, I think I'm too angry to keep it.

[CRIES] [CRYING] [ROUSING ROCK MUSIC] Kass? [CARL, MUFFLED] Where you at? One, two, three, four, blowing down my door - Five, six, seven, eight - Babe? - [RASPING] - Kass! [GASPING] Oh! [GASPING] [GASPS] You saved my life! - You really do love me! - Yeah.

[GASPS] What time is it? Like 4:00? The County Clerk's office is open til 5:00.

Nothing's gonna stop me now [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] That your new chair? Why's it over here? So that the pile of assholes who are squatting in my apartment won't destroy it.

Who aren't actually assholes.

They're just poor and broke and taking advantage of the situation.

Just like I've done 100 times.

And they aren't squatting.

I told them that they could stay there.

[PHONE CHIMES] - [EXHALES] - [PHONE BUZZING] Did you just get this pic from Kassidi? [IAN] Yeah.

"Birth, marriage, death.

" What the hell is that? - I think they got hitched.

- What? Yeah, I told him not to.

[IAN] Not legally, right? She's, like, 15.

- Hey.

- [LIGHTER CLICKS] Can I get a ride to this church? [INHALES] Supposed to speak at this thing, and I don't know.

Kinda scared shitless.

I mean I don't do speeches.

So don't do it.

Sorta feel like I have to.

Everyone thinks that I have something to say.

What if I don't? [ROCK MUSIC] When they're gone, they're gone, folks, so don't miss out.

All profits go to help gays across the planet.

Can you give me just one second? Are we really gonna give all of our money to Ian? No, of course not.

Thank you so much for waiting.

Gay Jesus loves and blesses you.

Get your T-shirts here! Don't miss out, folks.

We're runnin' out.

T-shirts.

Oh, shit.

No wonder you're nervous.

Did you know that all these people were gonna be here? - No.

- Hey.

They all came for you.

Isn't this amazing? [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC] So I just wanna start out by saying that I'm no hero.

I'm just a guy who keeps showing up to these anti-gay churches and hearing shit like, "God created man and woman.

You either look like a man or a woman.

Don't bring us any of your other shit.

" So they're essentially saying, "Don't make me work too hard to see you on your own terms," right? [AUDIENCE MURMURING] But we have the God-given right to be who we are.

Not who others want us to be.

So when they say shit like, "Don't use fake words like nonbinary or gender-fluid, cis-whatever," it's like Those are my terms, bitch.

Mm-hmm, yep.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Mm-hmm.

Which means we have to be so big, so noisy that there's nowhere else to look.

And we do it in God's name because [CHUCKLES] Because God hates haters.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [ROCK MUSIC] [CHEERING CONTINUES] [METALLIC BUZZING] I spotted 12 safety violations.

No wonder they pay so much.

I think I'm gonna bail.

I gotta stick it out.

I need the cash.

Hey, could you grab me a clip light? Can barely see anything I'm doing.

Okay.

[TORCH HISSING AND SPARKING] - [CLANKS] - [BONE CRUNCHES] - [SCREAMS] - Debbie! [DEBBIE SCREAMING] [FARHAD] Call 911! [DEBBIE CRYING AND GASPING] [CAR LOCK BEEPS] [SIGHS] Hi.

This fucking day, man.

[SCOFFS] Find Svetlana a man? No, she grabbed the guy's cock.

[KEY JINGLE] Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Not taking her home to meet Mom.

Where you coming from? Church.

Ian has a cult.

- A what? - Yeah.

They think he's Gay Jesus.

Looking for Fiona Gallagher.

That's me.

You've been served.

"As a result of one or more acts by defendant L.

Donner and defendant F.

Gallagher, plaintiff R.

Latham has been injured, damaged, and incapacitated.

" Who the fuck is R.

Latham? Rodney.

The dude that fell off your roof? He's suing you? "Plaintiff demands judgment against defendants in the sum of $6 million.

" Motherfucker.

Motherfucker! [ROCK MUSIC] Whoa-oh I'm the love he left you with [SINGING INDISTINCTLY] You sound bent out of shape No blood can try to stop me now