10. Church of Gay Jesus (第8季)【完整台词】

Kind of hoping they'll lose interest.

Yeah, well, there's more and more of them every day.

They're blocking the garage door.

I'm gonna have to park the ambulance outside by the curb so I don't accidentally run somebody over.

What do they even want? Uh Guess they just want to be seen by someone who sees 'em back.

Oh, please.

Looks to me like they want to douse you in syrup and slurp you up with a spoon.

Could be down for that.

[VERY SOFT LAUGH] That chair suits you.

Might be the first time I bought something I didn't actually need.

Beautiful, functional everyday objects should be affordable.

My idea of affordable is looting the house of the neighbor who just OD'd so I don't gotta buy new shit.

I've got an old coffee maker that needs a loving home.

Ooh.

Now you're talking.

Maybe I'll come by your place later? - Pick it up? - I got plans tonight.

I'll drop it off tomorrow.

[FAUCET SQUEAKS] [WATER SPLASHING] How long have they been in there? About 20 minutes.

- Are they bathing? - [CHILD LAUGHS] I think they might be.

[SOFTLY] Why would they do that? You think they're homeless? - [TRINA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] - [WATER SPLASHING] [DOOR CLICKS] [LOCK TWISTS] Jesus, you startled me.

I didn't think anybody else had keys.

I'm sorry, who are you? Oh, I'm Lip.

Um.

Phillip Gallagher.

Who are you? I'm I'm Tabitha, his daughter.

I um, are you a student? No, I was.

I was helping him after the accident.

Accident? I thought he was arrested for a DUI.

You know what? It's okay.

I don't even want to know.

[SIGHS] Jesus Christ, this week.

You you do know he's dead, right? What happened? He had, uh, a seizure.

Alcohol withdrawal.

Hit his head.

- Jesus.

- Yeah.

There's a memorial service tomorrow, and the students are welcome to say a few words if you like.

Oh, no one told me.

The school said they sent out an email.

I-I-I'm sorry, who are you again? I picked up your dad from jail, after the DUI.

I bought him groceries.

I Did he pay you? No, he didn't pay me.

He covered the cost of my rehab.

And he got me an internship.

He-he tried to convince the school to revoke my expulsion.

He listened to me.

He listened to me about everything.

Well, glad you were so well-parented by my dad.

Look, I-I have this covered.

You can leave your key on the way out.

Thanks.

Sure.

[SIGHS] [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] Here you are, sir.

On the house.

- Oh, thank you.

- Of course.

Our elders are a precious resource.

Thanks for staying alive.

I'll drink to that.

'Cause You dance My, my.

You must be Svetlana.

Wow.

What a knockout.

Good evening, ma'am.

May I procure you a cocktail? Vodka.

Your profile was, uh, quite provocative.

You were an escort for a time, weren't you? Hand whore.

Occasional cocksucking and fucking.

What is your name? - Gerald.

- "Gerald.

" Sounds like bald man drowning in hot soup.

Huh? There you are, m'lady.

[GERALD] What would it run me if, uh, you and I were to take a walk out to my vehicle and you were to keep me company for 30 minutes? $900,000.

[LAUGHS] [CHUCKLES] Forty bucks.

And you take off your shoes so I don't get any dirt on my seat.

- [BLOW LANDS] - Oh! [GRUNTS] You got hotness To get your body Could've gone worse.

Don't know how.

It sucks when people use God as an excuse for their own hatred, and when it's your family, it's the worst.

Look, I know you don't want to hurt your parents, but sometimes they forget.

God creates us all in his own image.

We gotta jog their memory.

If they believe that God hates the same people as they do, well, they're creating God in their image.

- [CROWD MURMURS, SNAPS FINGERS] - That's right.

That's right.

[IAN] We all have a Holy Spirit.

- We're all holy.

- [SNAPS FINGERS] - We're all divine - [KASSIDI SIGHS] Jesus, listen to that.

[KASSIDI] Oh, I know.

He's like a prophet.

And he's super hot too.

Like hot gay Jesus.

[SOFT LAUGH] "Hot gay Jesus.

" Bet we can make money off of that.

How? Ring the right bell for the right causes, the guilt-ridden pry open their wallets.

It's Pavlovian.

Righteousness is very marketable.

[FIONA] What's that all about? Uh, just a queer religious rebellion led by your gay brother.

No biggie.

[IAN] We all have the Trinity inside of us.

I'd like to read a passage from Romans now.