I'll tell you this one time what you missed on Shameless.
Next time, I'm gonna break both of your fucking kneecaps.
Okay? Okay.
This is what you fucking missed.
I slept with my ex.
- Since we've been married? - Yesterday.
My class schedule didn't come through.
The registrar said my financial aid pack was incomplete.
Forms should have been sent to your house at the beginning of summer- registered mail.
I just had to take out a $5,000 cash advance because nobody told me about these goddamn fucking papers.
Hi, we're here to see Ian Gallagher.
This place is already wigging me the fuck out.
There he is.
And look who's here.
- Just the sedation.
- I'm, uh- I'm gonna go.
Where the fuck is everybody? - Kev and I are separating.
- What? The only thing he cares about is the damn babies.
- She's living upstairs.
- You moved out? No.
Maybe.
I no longer live in Milkovich house.
I stay here now.
- What the hell? - My proposition includes cook, clean, and wifely duty.
Duty? This isn't right.
Oh, no.
No.
Oh! Oh.
Consider it like rent check.
Get out of my house, Frank.
Frank, if you don't get out right now, I will shoot you.
You don't have the guts.
Ouch! Ooh.
- I love you, daddy.
- Yeah.
I love you too, Sammi.
think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? Okay.
Rise and shine! Ian's coming home from the cuckoo's nest this morning.
So let's all make a little effort to make him feel welcome.
Yes, dear.
Good thinking.
Breakfast in five.
- My mom shot you.
- Yes, she did.
I don't get why just don't use her face for target practice.
Because prison is no place for a man with naturally tight glutes.
Skank bitch did it to you.
It'd just be self-defense.
Not after the fact.
And, son, it's important to know the difference between a skank bitch and a deranged psychopath.
Your sister Sammi is the latter.
So? So, when you have a skank bitch in your house, you stand up to her.
You push back.
Eventually she leaves.
But with a psychopath, you have to take a different approach.
But in the end, she will crawl back to the syphilis-ridden gutter from whence she came, and I will reclaim my bedroom and my life.
She started the war, but I'll win it.
War! Boom, boom, boom! That's right, my little eggplant.
Boom, boom, boom.
Boom, indeed.
Whatever.
I'm out.
Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? - Yep.
- Impressive work ethic, son.
You do your old man proud.
What? It's Muff.
Is Amanda in there? - No.
- Bullshit.
Tell her I'm not fucking leaving till she faces me.
Turns out lesbians are super possessive.
I fucking love you, Amanda.
I fucking love you, you bitch! I let her go down on me, like, twice, and now she thinks we're married.
Right.
So what do you want to do? 'Cause I have to pick up my brother in a few minutes.
Amanda, come out here and face me! I'll let you borrow my car if I can hide under your bed.
Yeah, done.
Hang on.
I haven't come yet.
- Right.
- Be quiet, though.
I fucking love you.
Easy, killer.
Whose face are you picturing on that bag? - Monica.
- Who's that? - My mother.
- Mother? I thought she was dead.
Not dead, just gone.
She stayed around long enough to ruin our lives and pass on all her fucked up genes.
You're worried about your brother? You know what? Maybe he'll still be okay, 'cause, you know, my dad's got hemorrhoids, and I got 'em too, but way less bad.
You're awesome.
Motherfucker! Stop! - 'Sup, G-Dogg? - "'Sup"? Boy, you been blessed with an education.
Try to sound like it.
What is up? Try "Good morning, sir.
" - Good morning, sir.
- Good morning, Carl.
And congratulations.
You just got a promotion.
- I did? - Look, one of my runners took a bullet this morning, so I need you to take a run for me this afternoon.
A run? To where? Flint, Michigan.
- Hey.
- Hey.
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