Sure, no problem.
Hey, if you change your mind, Come down, okay? Mm.
- I need to know where the gay wieners go.
You know how you plunge a toilet when it's backed up? Yeah.
- Think of it as one dude Plunging another dude's toilet.
- take us out to the coast and we'll find our way, oh Could always adopt.
- I don't want someone else's kid.
I want a little punk with your pretty eyes And your crooked smile.
- I don't know, v, at some point We might have to accept that it's not meant to be.
Not meant to be? Was I meant to get an s.
T.
D.
At 17 From some lame-ass rapper That would trash my tubes? Was I meant to google him all afternoon To find out he has eight kids? Was I meant to friend him on facebook To write on his wall some psychotic rant About how he ruined my life? - Baby, it's okay.
- No, it's not.
Fuck his weak-ass rhymes, Fuck that tree frog-lookin' doctor, And fuck all the fuckin' money I spent on condoms For the last 20 years.
And fuck you for acting like you don't wanna Fight harder for this.
- Whoa.
You know I do, more than anything.
Then let's fight.
Enough with the kicking! Christ! - Where is she? - I can't-- I give up.
I need sleep.
- Let me spell this out for you.
The city digs up some bones.
The police show up.
They figure out it's aunt ginger.
They date the bones.
They realize she's been dead for 14 years, And yet, her social security checks Are being cashed every month.
This isn't a dui, frank.
You buried a body and you stole From the federal government.
You will never get out of prison.
Think about it.
Fuck.
- Hey.
You know the guy You beat the shit out of at that club? He wants me to sneak into his mansion, Take all of his crap.
Really? Hilarious.
- He can't get it himself.
Divorce.
Says I can take whatever I want.
He's loaded.
You want in? Jesus! Use blanks, maybe? Fuck.
Can I bring my cousins? - Yeah.
- All right.
I'm in.
I don't know what you see In that geriatric viagroid.
- He buys me stuff, orders me room service.
He isn't afraid to kiss me.
Yeah, we're low on joints.
- I got extra weed in the fridge, But it needs rolling.
- You guys look like you could use some help.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- No, we're good, thanks.
- Can you roll us some spliffs? - Sure.
We need papers.
Right there.
- You guys are really killing it.
Whoa, you are a giant.
- Ask me if I play basketball and I'll punch your nuts.
What do you want? - Two fountains, a pack of sparklers, Three joints, and a bomb pop.
- Hey, you got any community service hours left? - Why? - Molly could help, he offered.
- No.
You know what? I'm covered.
Actually we're good here too.
You can go home.
- You know what? Have her stick around.
I gotta hit the alibi in ten minutes away.
- I can handle it.
- I'm good to stay.
- No, please just go home, mandy-- To your own fucking house, for once.
That was harsh.
Really, ladies? Really funny.
Hi, this is fiona.
I'm working register two.
I'm locked in the bathroom.
I did try the knob.
Fine.
I'll try again.
- On what planet is it cool for you To take a smoke break in the employee bathroom? - I don't even smoke parliaments.
I remember how I played the fool for you now I'm just a fool until you do this every time that I wake is a number that sings - Holy crap, congrats on your puberty.
- Yeah, your tits look great.
Thanks.
You know, they always say it happens overnight.
Go for a swim.
Try out your new bod.
Okay.
It's my fourth.
- I don't care if it's your 44th.
We don't do buybacks.
- I'm broke.
- Hey, news flash, princess.
So is 150% of the patronage here.
- Oh, there she is.
Welcome back.
How was your vacay? - Oh, I went surfing, got hit by a jet ski, Saw a dolphin masturbate.
- Yeah? Well, my finger's broken, my parents are divorced, And my dad's a fairy, so-- - a fairy? Hello, 1983.
Did you get my co2 tanks? - Yeah.
Hey, can you make it quick? I gotta get out of here.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.
Hey.
You know, not for nothin', but, uh, No one likes to hear a grown man whine.
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