For all of you who were too fucking busy, This is what happened last week on shameless.
- Why is that man driving your car? You let him steal it? - No, beto, I stole it, Back when life was fun and the world had meaning.
- My partner works for this city.
Because we're not married, I'm not allowed to share in his insurance benefits.
- You told the world we're gay.
- You, my friend, have stumbled into the most significant moment In the history of the gay rights movement.
You also have dog shit on your face And no place to live, But we can fix that, if you agree to work with us.
- And look at mickey, marrying some whore he knocked up.
- So is it true? You're getting married? You love me.
And you're gay.
Just admit it.
Just this once, admit it.
Ugh! - You're the temp? - Yeah, hi.
Yes.
Fiona gallagher.
- Some of the office bitches may have narked on you About the porn at your desk and the personal phone calls.
- Well, mr.
Pratt is asking for a word with you.
- Am I fired? - No, you're-- you're-- No more naked body parts at your desk For any reason.
- Got it.
- And also, You're doing a great job.
- Just the man I was hoping to run into.
- I can't see you anymore.
I'm with mandy now.
- Who's this? - It's karen jackson.
- Fuck you.
- Oh, you mean, like, All three of us? Do you want me to ask lip next time we do it? Okay, I'm sorry, mom.
It's-- it's lip.
He wants to meet at the park.
What'd you hit? Girl at school.
- think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? - How many slaves you think george washington had sex with? Carl, eat.
Now.
- More than lincoln, less than jefferson.
- Ian, that bruise is looking better.
- Who beat you up again? - No one.
It's rotc, practicing hand-to-hand.
- Marines still fight with their fists? - In certain situations, yes.
- What's the point of building nukes If we ain't nuking anybody? - Gross national product.
- Can I use last night's chicken bones to make soup? - As long as they're not in the trash.
Lip hear anything new about karen? Still asleep.
Karen or lip? Both.
- Up and at 'em, yet again.
Impressive.
- Having a job does that to me.
You good with liam duty again today? - Me and liam are deeply bonded bros.
- Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? - Uh, yeah, cool.
Can you walk with me? Yeah.
- Mwah.
Bye, see you later.
- Bye.
- Bye! - Be good for jimmy.
- Hey, here.
Thanks.
- How about I just give you the headline? - Sure, newsboy.
Headline away.
Okay.
"helping the world be a better place.
" yeah, how's that? - I'm thinking about going back to medical school.
What? - I already finished two years, only have one to go.
I'm just thinking it might be the right thing to do for us.
Future and all.
Stability.
- Isn't med school really hard? And expensive? Yes, but the payoff's great.
Six figures, and I'll take out loans.
Doesn't work out, I'll just default.
"doctor jimmy," huh? Yeah, spit-balling.
- Okay.
Well, I'm off to sell cups To people that use them.
Not as exciting as medical school, But exciting nonetheless.
hey.
- Okay, let's get started.
You all know why you're here.
You've seen his story on the news, On twitter feeds, on your facebook walls.
His is a tale of a lifetime in the closet, Of a brave midlife embrace of his true nature And an acknowledgement that he is a lightning rod For a vital civil rights issue.
Ladies and gentlemen, frank gallagher.
Frank? Um We're at a-- we are at a crucial time In our nation's history, Where, as a nation, we'll either pivot toward what's right Or, umStay stuck in what's wrong, And make no mistake, right now, it's a horrible time to be gay.
And I, like all of you, have experienced it firsthand.
Apparently, I've caused a ruckus Because I said that gay folks deserve certain civil rights-- Rights that the breeders don't want to bestow upon me.
ha ha ha.
Upon we.
Those breeders, all they wanna do is stop us From having the sex that they wish they were having.
IfIf-- If the kind of sex we're having is what offends them most, They should let us get married, 'cause anybody who's been married Knows that the sex is downhill from there.
Now, we have long-- thank you.
We have long been wronged, And it's time for legislation That allows our private parts to be aroused By the people god intended to arouse them.
And-- And it's time for that arousal to happen within marriage! So get out your wallets or your-- your man purses Or whatever, and give now, 'cause I hope never to be up again this early, Unless it's rolling over with a couple of you in bed.
Thank you.
I love you.
- Shit, you're good! How did you get so good? - My whole life, I've been trying to convince people To do what they really don't want to do.
the-- the envelope, kind sir? Thank you, thank you.
Now, we gotta talk about upgrading my room.
- Uh, you can tip the front desk With some of my recently departed hard-earned cash.
- The front desk at the merchant motor inn Is behind bulletproof glass.
It's plexiglass.
You have a queen bed and premium channels.
- You saw what I did here.
I'm your new rainmaker.
I can get these rump-swappers to cough up cash night and day.
"rump-swappers"? There's a slur I've never heard before.
Okay, we'll see how the high school speech goes, But until then, you're still on the clock, So go shake some hands, ya little rump-swapper.
You saucy tart, you.
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