Okay, how do I look? Like me.
Oh, shit.
Hey, you filthy fuckin' "portagese"! I know you fucked my sister.
I'm gonna come down there, and I'm gonna kick your ass.
Stan, what are you doing? Get in here.
You're gonna get shot.
Yeah.
Put some pants on.
I got pants on.
Really? Then those are the ugliest pair of flesh pants I've ever seen.
Oh.
Oh, Dinty Moore again? Oh, come on.
You love this stuff.
Yeah, but don't give me the one with the low sodium.
It tastes like dog shit.
What, and the one with full sodium doesn't? No, actually, it's delicious.
So, I could pick up a pile of dog shit and you'd eat it? Well, if it had enough salt on it.
I'll keep that in mind.
Here.
What the hell is that? The receipts from the bar last night.
Bar? What bar? The alibi room.
Downstairs.
You own it.
Oh, I know that.
Just give me the goddamn money.
Words take shape like guns and planes Here we go.
Thanks.
So, Fiona Gallagher.
Craig Heisner.
You look good.
You, too.
So, what have you been up to since graduation? I never graduated.
My mom split my junior year, so, I had to quit school, take care of the family.
Oh, that sucks.
It is what it is.
What'd you do after graduation? Went into business with my dad.
Concrete.
That's good.
Yeah.
I was surprised to hear from you on Facebook.
I didn't think you'd remember me.
How could I not? You had the best ass in the sophomore class.
I can still picture you in those sexy shorts running track during our football practices.
Did you know I had a crush on you? Back then or now? I might have had an inkling.
Who is right? Who is wrong? who is weak? Who is stronger now? So, how come you never jumped me? Oh, I was afraid you might reject me.
No, no, no.
You never jumped me, either.
You were a senior, I was a sophomore.
And for the record, you know, I wouldn't have rejected you.
Oh, now you tell me.
Besides, you were always with that bitchy cheerleader.
What was her name? Lucy Joe? Yeah.
You mean my wife? Oh, shit.
Sorry.
It's cool.
You guys still together? We had a few breakups, but for the most part, we've been together since we were 15.
What about you? We haven't been together since we were 15.
There's nothing we can do about that now, can we? Nah.
You had to go mess everything up by getting married.
We would have been good together, too.
Probably, yeah, would've been great.
I guess we'll never find out now.
Guess not.
Dude, stop.
It's the best way to get six-pack abs.
Saw it on a YouTube video.
Hey, fuckwad? Dickhead.
What are you doing? Helping Ian train.
Yo, I was at the lab talking to this army guy from the Pentagon.
He's a colonel or something.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Thought he could tell us a little bit more about west point.
He was a student there.
They're called cadets.
I will burn for you feel pain for you I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart.
What's up with debs? Obsessed with death.
Anyway, thought this guy might be a good lead.
I don't know.
Took that practice trig test today, only got a 73.
Five points higher than last time.
I cheated.
Why do you want to go in the army anyway? You're just gonna get shot through the butthole in battle.
Hey, twat bag, the only reason you're not in summer school is 'cause they wouldn't have you.
I hate when they bunt.
It's a pussy move.
You're such a girl.
Don't make me pull out my penis, prove you wrong.
Stan's losing his marbles.
What happened? You're right.
He shouldn't be left alone up there.
Call his daughter.
What if she wants to put him in a home? Well, might be the best thing for him.
He wants to stay in his apartment.
So did my mother, even after she started shitting in the kitchen drawers.
Hey, what about you and me-- We chip in, we buy the bar? What? It'll give him enough money for round-the-clock care.
Not interested.
When he goes, someone's gonna buy this place.
What if they turned it into a Friday's or something? I look good in red and white stripes.
We buy the bar from Stan, he gets to stay in his apartment, and we keep our jobs.
No.
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