10. The Rickchurian Mortydate (第3季)【完整台词】

1 Come on, football! Go, go! Oh, come on.

Play football! [ Suspenseful music plays ] [ Creature growls softly ] [ Heartbeat pounding ] [ Creature snarls ] Aaah! [ Slash! ] So, you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Uh-huh.

Did your dad write this game? Mean.

[ Helicopter blades whirring ] Gentlemen, you're needed by a friend in Washington! How clandestine.

[ Zap! ] If they can teleport, why did we take I just work here, Steve, same as you! [ Indistinct conversation ] All right.

All right, all right.

Mr.

President.

It's about time, gentlemen.

Rick, do you need to drink in here? Yes.

Here's the adventure.

Some kind of alien googa has infested the Kennedy Sex Tunnels.

I want it hunted down and taken out.

Kennedy Sex Tunnels? Naturally, you'll forget you saw them, along with, in order of national embarrassment, the Truman Cocaine Lounge, the McKinley Hooker Dump, and the Lincoln Slave Coliseum.

He didn't free them all.

And let me know when you're done.

Maybe then we could get a selfie? Too busy, Morty.

Now tell me about this summit.

Is it a peace one or a regular one? [ Suspenseful music plays ] [ Growling ] [ Zap! Zap! Zap! ] [ Whimpers ] Ugh.

This sucks.

God, tell me about it.

Oh, man.

If you're not into it What do you mean? Why would I be into it? It's lame.

You're into lame stuff, Morty.

I thought young dumb people considered it an honor to work for presidents or whatever the shit.

Maybe the first few times, but this just sucks.

He treats us like Ghostbusters.

We should talk to him.

Yeah, that sounds fun.

Let's set some boundaries with a spoiled control freak that thinks he runs the world and orders drone strikes to cope with his insecurity.

It's either that or more of this.

Third choice "Minecraft.

" You like it now? Got to be honest, Morty.

It's growing on me.

Notify the president.

What do I tell him? Tell him the truth.

Tell him Rick and Morty just blew off America.

You can use that wood to make a chest.

Oh, good.

Then I can store all this wood I'll need later for chest-making.

Okay.

You're not going to have fun if you analyze everything.

This is what they'd rather do? It's all in the transcript.

"Treats us like Ghostbusters.

" So, Ghostbusters aren't cool now? I don't recall signing that bill.

"Control freak.

" "Orders drone strikes to cope with" "Insecurity.

" Should we drone-strike them? That would prove them right! And blow him up.

Give me the phone.

Rick: Is this game popular with autistic people? Why would you say something like that? 'Cause I'm starting to love it.

[ Cellphone vibrating ] "Failure to answer is a felony offense"? Play it cool.

As far as he knows, we're still in the tunnels.

[ Chuckles ] When should we reveal we can see them? We're holding all the cards right now.

We don't show any before the time is right.

Awesome.

Rick: Yello? Hi, guys.

U.

S.

President calling.

How's it going? Oh, hey.

Just hard at work on this sex tunnel gagoo.

I think it's kind of our new archnemesis, you know? It might take a while.

What do you think, Morty a month? Fingers crossed, a month, yeah.

You lying dicks! I see your asses playing "Minecraft"! I got you on satellite! That's right.

What do you have to say for yourselves? Okay, obviously, this looks bad, Mr.

President.

I mean, what doesn't look bad through an illegal spy satellite? Don't high-road me.

The two of you break 1,000 federal laws a day.

Wow, really? That's pretty cool.

And, yes, yes, yes, yes, you save the world now and then.

America returns that favor by not holding the two of you accountable to its laws.

Oh! Oh! Oh, God.

We We didn't know you saw it that way.

Well, it's nobody's fault.

We never had "the talk," so to speak.

Yeah.

I mean, the way we see it, when we show up, that's the favor to you.

Especially, you know, when it turns out you wanted someone to come over just because you found an "X-Files" monster in your basement.

As for the reason you've never, like, arrested us, we assumed you just knew that it was impossible, like, if you tried.

You know, it wouldn't go well.

Wouldn't go well? Can you elaborate? I think one of your 1,000 laws says, no, I can't elaborate.

Just trust me.

None of us want to go there.

Which we'll never have to.

By the way, we'll keep on saving the Earth.

You know, we're We're happy to do that.

Yeah, but not because it contains America Because moving to a new version of Earth is a bitch and a half.

But feel free to call us, you know, as as, like, friends.

Yeah, like, if you ever want to take a selfie So, are we cool? Yes.

Thank you, gentlemen.

I told you, man! I'm impressed, Morty.

That went really well.

[ Indistinct conversations ] Everybody, get ahold of yourselves! Sir, what is our new Rick and Morty policy? Our policy is, we never needed them and never will again.

Today, we celebrate our independence from Rick and Morty.

Everyone out.

All this spring at Clothes Mart, there's a clothes sale.

Come on down to the clothes section.

I just put it on for fun.

I know I can't buy it.

Oh, come on.