Learning to fly this thing, Morty, is gonna be really liberating.
You know, you're gonna be free to go on all kinds of errands for me.
- Cool.
- See that planet right there? Don't fly too close to that planet.
Someone will come out and try to wash your windshield.
Hold on.
Yeah? Yeah, I have it.
Where do you want to meet? All right, cool.
All right, Morty, lesson's over.
We got some business to attend to a few light minutes south of here.
Oh, you still use south in space? Whoa! Jesus, Jerry! What the hell are you doing here?! What are you talking about? We agreed a boy's father should be present - when he's learning to drive.
- I guess I remember that.
Wow.
And you've just been back there this whole time? Amazing.
Well, we don't have time to take him to earth, Morty.
Head for 3924917.
Cool! Looks like I'm coming along for an adventure! Yep.
- This is where we're going? - Nope.
This is.
You can park in a handicap spot, Morty.
Anything with less than eight limbs is considered disabled here.
Well, look at this fella.
Aren't you handsome? Thank you.
- I'm Jerry.
- Oh, I know you are.
Did you come here in a spaceship? I'm traveling with my son and father-in-law.
W-wait.
Are they coming? Oh, they'll be back soon.
What?! I don't know how this works! Help me! What the hell?! I know, right? Oh, what the hell?! I know, right? Jerryboree!? You created a day care for my dad? Are you kidding? I wish I had this idea.
Well, I did have this idea, but I wish I was the version of me that owned it.
That guy's rich.
Don't forget to check the reason for your drop-off.
Trust me, Morty, I've heard stories from other Ricks.
Jerrys don't tend to last five minutes off of earth.
This is a totally unregistered cross-temporal asteroid.
Here, they can romp and play with other Jerrys.
He couldn't be safer.
Hey, Morty, hang on to this.
That number's your dad.
If you lose it, we're not gonna be able to get him back.
- Okay, wait here.
- I want to come with.
Don't come with.
It's boring.
It's it's business stuff.
What kind of business do you do in a garage? You know, this seems a little shady.
Right, yeah, like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? Y-you know what those guys do in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip them in cocaine and wipe them all over each other.
You know, grandpa goes around, and he does his business in public, because grandpa isn't shady.
Aw, crap.
Hey, what's up? Hey, Rick! Here you go 3,000 flerbos.
Do you have the weapon? C-can we please? This is my grandson, Morty.
Oh, hi, Morty.
I'm Krombopulos Michael.
I'm an assassin.
I buy guns from your grandpa.
Here.
Go away.
Ooh! Yeah, this looks deadly.
So, this shoots antimatter? My target can't be killed with regular matter.
Nice to meet you, Morty.
Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered, please give me a call.
- I'm very discreet.
- You're g-giving him a card?! I have no code of ethics.
I will kill anyone, anywhere children, animals, old people doesn't matter.
I just love killing.
You sell weapons to killers for money? You've got what the intergalactic call a very planetary mind-set, Morty.
It's more complicated out here.
These are flerbos.
Do you understand what two humans can accomplish - with 3,000 of these? - Uh, what? An entire afternoon at Blips and Chitz! Oh, this place is the best.
It's got beer, games, prizes, and you can never tell what time it is.
You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?! Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.
Here, check this out.
Aah! Roy, what's wrong? I had a nightmare.
I was with an old man.
He put a helmet on me.
It's just a fever.
Get some sleep.
I don't want you missing school on Monday.
I want you kids to look around you today and think about your future.
Now is the time in your life when anything is possible.
Spiraling perfectly! It's gonna be caught by Roy Parsons! Roy Parsons is at the 20! Now he's at the 10! Nothing can stop Roy "the Rocket"! Touchdown! I just think it's time to get realistic.
Have you talked to my father about the carpet store? Roy? Had we caught it sooner well, hindsight is 20/20, Roy.
What's important is that we move quickly.
I'm not ready to die.
You're not going to.
- Yeah! Whoo! - Yeah! Hey, thanks for the carpet, Roy.
Hey, Roy, you pulled those persian off-white shags for the clearance sale? Whoa.
Sh shit! Oh! Whoa! What the hell?! W-w-where am I?! - What in the hell?! - 55 years.
Not bad, Morty.
You kind of wasted your 30s, though, with that whole bird-watching phase.
- Where's my wife?! - Morty, you were just playing a game.
It's called "Roy".
Snap out of it.
Come on.
I'm Morty.
You're Rick.
Hey! You sold a gun to a guy that kills people! Look at this you beat cancer, and then you went back to work at the carpet store? Boo! D-don't dodge the issue, Rick! Selling a gun to a hit man is the same as pulling the trigger! It's also the same as doing nothing.
If Krombopulos Michael wants someone dead, there's not a lot anyone can do to stop him.
That's why he does it for a living.
Now excuse me.
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