Psst! Agent P! I'm in here! Sorry for the break-in protocol, but this is urgent.
Show him the photo, Carl.
Yes, sir.
Here, Agent P.
Notice anything unusual, Agent P? Look closely, it's very subtle.
Here, use this.
Check out that small cluster of clouds.
It spells "Doof"! And "Doof" is short for Doofenshmirtz! That cloud is directly above the Danville Botanical Gardens! Two hundred acres of ecologically diverse natural area.
We need you to get out there and find out what Doof is doofing! We need you to get out there and find out what Doof is doofing! Here, take my membership card.
You get free parking and you get 15% off at the gift shop.
Sir, it says "non-transferrable" right at the bottom! Oh, Carl, they never look at the photo.
Anyway, get out there, Agent P, and good luck! And make sure you stop and smell the roses! Well He never stops to smell the roses.
I know, sir.
In fact, it was the ancient Tunisians who actually developed many of the techniques still used today.
Wow, Buford.
I didn't realize the wedgie had such a rich history.
Help! Help, Phineas and Ferb, and to a lesser extent, Buford! I am having an existential emergency! I find myself incapable of making decisions! Is that a fact? You'd better sit down.
Okay.
Come to think of it, maybe your point would be better made standing up.
You are right! But, then again, you look kind of tired.
You are right.
I'd betterâ Cut it out! How did you get in such a state, Baljeet? Well, I was filling out my college early admission's forms, and Iâ Whoa, Baljeet! College is, like, nine years away! I said "early".
Anyway, under personal preferences, I could not decide whether to select loop or string theory.
I was paralyzed with indecision! Oh, come on, that's easy! Loop! No, string! Noâ Oh.
Right? Then I started thinking about how important it is to make the right decision on everything! You see, every choice carries with it its own potential timeline.
So, every decision I make effectively nullifies the possible future! I cannot even choose which flavor of ice-cream to order.
If I choose vanilla, that may set me on the path to the presidency.
But if I have strawberry, I could get hit by a bus! Well, it's simple then.
Just don't choose the strawberry.
You are missing the point! I do not know that if I chose strawberry I would get hit by a bus, I am just saying that every decision we make has unforeseen repercussions! Actually, ice-cream sounds pretty good.
Yeah, it does! If it is okay with you, I have prepared a little presentation to illustrate my point.
(Song: Improbably Knot) Don't know which choice to choose when people ask Not sure which task to take, or take to task I don't know which is best, or which is bad I'm like a question mark, or hanging chad Even doing nothing is still a choice like I must make I'm paralyzed by fear that it will all become a big mistake Everything is probable, nothing is impossible Choices left to random chance are highly irresponsible March, my little off-the-shelf 3-D package robots! Everything is probable, nothing is impossible Choices left to random chance are highly irresponsible I do not know what to choose! I do not want to lose! Everything is probable, nothing is impossible I am sorry, everyone.
It sounded a lot better in my head.
Exactly what time did you get up this morning? What if you could make both choices? Would that make you feel better? Yes! And no.
I mean, I do not know! Ferb, I know what we'reâ Wait, let me interrupt you! Where's Perry? Wow, I had no idea that smoke signals was so complicated! Perry the Platypus, whatâ Excuse me, you are in clear violation of the garden rules! Docents.
So, uh, what seems to be the problem, ladies? You are showing blatant disregard for our signage! It's all good, ladies.
I am a card-carrying Danville Botanical Gardens club member.
See? Here's my card! And I'm carrying it! Then you should know better, Mr.
Doofenshmirtz.
Oof! It's notâ It's Dr.
Doofenshmirtz, okâ Okay, bye! See how cool I was with them, huh? So, Perry the Platypus, I'll bet you're wondering why I haven't trapped you yet.
It's because I've hired someone else to do it for me! Perry the Platypus, meet platypus hunter, Liam O'Cracken! I found him on an evil consultant website.
Semi-aquatic egg-laying mammals, I can't stand the sight of 'em.
And I'll tell you why.
D'you mind? No, you know what? Why don't you do the backstory today? Back in Australia, I had a good life, but platypuses ruined everything.
You see When I was young Aww, does he like his boomerang, does he? Oh, my, look at the cute little platypus! Hello, there, little fella! Hold still! That's right.
Say musk lily! Say musk lily! And I never saw me mum again.
It was on that day that I swore revenge on platypuses.
Platypuses? No, no, I know, it sounds wrong, but it's actually right.
I always thought it was platypi.
That's also acceptable.
They're vile creatures, not to be trusted the only mammal with poisonous ankle barbs.
You have a poisonous ankle barb? How come I never knew that? But now, I'm prepared.
I even have my own poisonous ankle barbs.
And a little somethin' else up my sleeve.
I'd like you to meet the ladies.
This here is Nancy, Barbara, Jill, Lauren In all fairness, Perry the Platypus, there was nothing in his profile about, you know, naming his boomerangs.
Even I find that a little creepy.
Scheherezade.
Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? You're just in time, Isabella! In order to help Baljeet with his decision-making crisis, we've built the infinite probability generator.
Once Baljeet's been through the machine's infinite imprinter, he'll be fundamentally altered at the probable level.
Then, anytime he comes to a place where he has to make a choice, he'll split into two probability Baljeets.
Allowing him to explore the consequences of both timelines? Exactly, Isabella! Hit it, Ferb! I love it when you guys tamper with the forces of nature.
I know, right? Is science happening yet? I am feeling nauseated! Yeah, that sounds like science to me.
Oh, this is so bustable.
All right, Ferb, let's get him outta there! Now, how're you feeling, Baljeet? Effervescent and frothy.
Just like my Ma's homemade toothpaste! Come on, buddy, get up! How come he ain't split in two yet? Because he hasn't made a choice yet.
Oh, boy! It's the ice-cream guy! Oh, I thought it was someone's phone.
Come on, Baljeet! Let's see if the infinite probability generator worked! Howdy, Mike! My good friend, Baljeet here would like to sample your fine frozen confections.
All right, Baljeet, what flavor? Vanilla or strawberry? Carpe diem, Baljeet.
Carpe diem! One vanilla and one strawberry! Weird.
Hey, I also have banana splits! Good one, Mike.
Here you go.
Vanilla and strawberry.
Now, I am beside myself.
And I like it! That's very clever, Second Baljeet.
This is great! Now that I have made both choices, I will no longer miss any oppâ What do you know? I was right! Wow, tough break.
Yes.
But, that means I am going to become President! Carl? Carl, where are you? I'm over here, sir! How did you get over there? I was coming to see you! Why are you over there? I'm trying to get out of here! What are you trying to do? Well, I was looking for you so we could leave together! Oh, for Pete's sake.
Danni Oh, and this shiny girl came all the way from Greece.
I call herâ What the blazes?! See, I told you he was good! Now, about your refund policy That hat don't make you special.
You're still a platypus.
I'm gonna make you eat those words or that noise.
You and your hat are gonna make a fine addition to my trophy room.
Trophy room? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second, I just hired you to trap Perry the Platypus, notâ Consider me off the clock, Doc.
Hello? What is this? Is this a hammock? If it's a hammock, it's way too tight.
Hello? Mr.
McCraken, I think you caught me by mistake! No mistake there, Doc.
You're either with me, or you're against me.
Come to think of it, I don't have a pharmacist on my trophy wall yet.
Come to think of it, I don't have a pharmacist on my trophy wall yet.
Wait, wait, whâ What do you mean, "yet"? I give you sixty seconds head-start before the hunt commences.
I-I don't even know what you're talking about.
Who's this platypus? Why am I handcuffed to him? Where is Perry the Platypus? So to recap in order of importance, why am I handcuffed to him? So, to make it easier to hunt the both of youse.
Now, run.
Okay, fair enough.
Whoa! Wow! You know, I really shouldn't have ignored the 97% of customer feedback that says he tends to go rogue.
So, okayâ I guess we should introduce ourselves.
My name is Dr.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz and you being a platypus, you can't talk to tell me your Youâ You know what, I'm just gonna call you Steven.
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