Well, how are we doing today, Major? Feeling better? Carl? What are you doing here? Your wife said it'd be okay if I came up here and kept you company.
Would that be all right? I brought a book! What kind of book? It's a fantasy adventure with wizards and knights! Are there woodland sprites? Well, there's water sprites.
Go ahead.
"Devote your mind to this tale of the distant past, and the adventures that did befall the most noble of knights.
Where stood the cottage of the humble antique dealer" Cheerio, dear! I'm off to hide these common objects for a couple'a hundred years, until they become valuable.
Don't forget to put hay in the ox! Candavere! I need you to fetch me some more water! Candavere! Oh! Where is that maid? "Stachilda, news have I upon this evening.
At the harvest bonfire I shall be on the arm of Jeremiad.
Signed, Candavere.
" There! And now to send off this missive.
The time has come to do your duty, my stout-winged messenger! That should catalyze it.
We'll add it to our inventory of magical elixirs.
What say we try a couple of these out? Cool, a cyclops! My turn! A manticore! With a lion's head.
A cockatrice! Oh, yeah, getting some water, andâ Yack! Gonna have a great Midsummer Woad-Gathering Harvest Bonfire's Eve Good morrow, Phineas! with Jeremiad.
Good morrow, Ferbalot! Ugh! What flaxen homespun have we swaggering here?! Careful, Candavere.
Better not look at Ferbalot, or you'll turn to stone.
This is the most inopportune time for your infernal hijinks, and for once our sad sweet mother will be heralded to your inpropriâ Ugh! I can't talk like this anymore! You guys are so busted! Mom! Yack! I don't know about you, Ferbalot, but I didn't get any of that.
Hey.
There's something fishy about this rain.
It's It's unearthly.
It's It's unearthly.
Come on.
We better get inside.
Behold! I am the Lady of the Puddle! Don't you mean the Lady of the Lake? No, that's my mom.
Hey, kids! You're getting a little quest of your own.
Oh, that's so nice.
Anyway Ferbalot, you and Phineas must find the legendary sword Excaliferb Ferbalot, you and Phineas must find the legendary sword Excaliferb and use it to stop the evil sorcerer Malifishmertz, who is behind this unearthly rain.
Yeah, Ferb and I were just talking about the rain.
Unearthly, that'sâ Isn't that the word I usedâ? Yeah, I usedâ I justâ I will send the magical water sprite, Isabel, to guide you on your quest.
Great! Can't wait to meet her.
And to you, Ferbalot and Phineas, I bid thee good fortune! Wow.
Good thing she wasn't "Lady of the Hot Coffee.
" Mom! Ferb and I are going on a quest.
Don't forget to goad the geese on your way out! Sure thing, Mom.
Get in there, Gertrude! Whoa! This must be the sprite, Isabel! What art thou doin'? Apparently you're going to guide us on a quest.
Yes.
You must first cross the Raging River of Uncertainty by way of the Bridge of Comprehension.
Then you must brave the Swamp of Spit-Poor Attitudes.
Then it's snack time.
I brought along some apples.
After that, you will enter the Cave of Ten Thousand Monsters, where the sword Excaliferb can be found.
Ferb, only a warrior with a true heart may draw it from the stone and wield it in battle against the evil sorcerer, Malifishmertz.
Yeah, okay, I'm down with that.
Do you have any questions? Yeah.
Where's Parable? Good morning, Sir P.
The tempest we're experiencing was conjured up by the evil Malifishmertz.
We need you to fly up to his fortress and put the kibosh on his evil machinations.
I really like that character.
Is there gonna be more about him? I'm sorry, sir, he just comes in at the beginning.
Shall I continue? Huh? Okay.
"Meanwhile, back at the cottage of the humble antique dealer" Mom, I'm telling you.
They're gallivanting around out there conjuring things with magical elixirs.
Candavere, I've never seen them gallivant.
Oh! When are you gonna believe me? What if I got you some proof? I'd rather you got me some more grulewood.
Fine.
"Candavere, fetch me grulewood.
" "Candavere, rake the roof-thatch.
" "Candavere, go accuse the neighbors of witchcraft.
" If only I had some proof! If only I had some proof! All I have to do is grab a couple of these to show Mom andâ Oof! Ugh.
What is this stuff? Stupid potion! I know.
Maybe this will get rid of it.
That didn't work.
I'm gonna go tell Mom.
Oh, great, a tail! Phineas and Ferbalot, you are so buâ I can't go to the Midsummer Woad-Gathering Harvest Bonfire like this.
What will Jeremiad think? I'm just gonna have to find Phineas and Ferbalot and make them tell me which one of these elixirs will change me back.
Ah-oh! Oh, this is not Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh, there's aâ Oh, no.
Oh Malifishmertz Evil Incorporated But not really a corporation because corporations haven't been invented yet so it's more like a guild or a tradesmen association! Ah-ha! Parable the Dragonpus, welcome to your doom! Heyâ Hey, whaâ What's the matter with this thing? H-Hey, Gnorme.
Can you come out and give me a hand? Of course! Do you like him, Parable the Dragonpus? I call him a Lawn Gnorme.
He protects my garden from witches spells and wood trolls.
I'm gonna make small versions of him and sell them all overâ Anyway, let me tell you about my plan for seizing control of the Tri-Kingdom Area.
You see, I was bullfrog hunting down by the rat catcher's shack and came across a the biggest raspberry I've ever seen! It was the size of a cucumber! is what I said because I had a gag over my mouth.
and that's why I decided to take over the Tri-Kingdom Area! True story.
And now, I know exactly how to do it! You see, I found this ancient text, more of a a pamphlet really.
And decided to use it to conjure up the most evil multitude to ever tread the Earth! But to do that, I needed to start with the most hideous substance known to man! Canned meat! Tripe-Henge Brand, only the best! So, earlier today, I placed thousands of cans of canned meat into the largest of my three cauldrons, cast my evil reanimation spell, and ta-da! Yeah, don't say it, I know.
They'reâ They're a little small, but that's why the rain, see? They absorb water, and they will grow, and when they get bigger, I'm hoping their attitude will become a little more, you know rampage-y.
They absorb water, and they will grow, and when they get bigger, I'm hoping their attitude will become a little more, you know rampage-y.
Isabel, why did you take us to the Inn of the Prancing Platypus? We need allies.
There's a lot of mercenaries and thugs to choose from.
Plus, they make a great taco salad.
Who's that creepy guy? He's been staring at us since we got here.
I wonder what he wants.
He's coming over! Be cool.
I would recommend a little more caution from you, wizardling.
Malifishmertz's spies are everywhere.
Look at that guy over there.
He doesn't look like a spy.
He looks more like a shepherd.
He's a shepherd spy.
They're the worst kind.
Are you a mercenary thug? Actually, I'm here for the taco salad.
But you guys look like you could do with a little muscle.
The name's Bufavulous, the Wind Lord.
I can help you on your quest.
Welcome aboard! You should also know that I travel with a companion by the name of Baljeetolas, of the Nerdling Realm.
Greetings, adventurers! If by my bow, or my vast store of useless knowledge I may aid you Hey, where is my bow? You left it in the booth.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Well, there it is.
Has anyone seen my arrows? Bathroom! Now that we're all congregated, we must away! Let everyone now task his thought! That this fair quest may on foot be brought! Whoa! Hey, whoa, hold it.
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