4. 185965 - Call Me (第2季)【完整台词】

Ohh.

Oh, honey, look.

Ben's punishment letter, and flowers too.

Ben who? -Wake up.

-Oh, hello, Maggie.

-Hello.

-Good morning.

-Look.

-Aww.

"Dear Mom and Dad, here is my punishment you wanted.

I hope you like it.

Love, Ben.

" Ohh.

"I don't know if I spelled pornography right or not.

" -Did he? -He did.

I was afraid of that.

JASON: "Dad, you wanted me to write all this stuff down to tell how we got to where we are and what I think about what I did and why it's disgusting.

-For me, the trouble started yesterday--" MAGGIE: "Dad, you wanted me to write--" Oh, sorry.

You read it.

"For me, the real trouble started yesterday when you were paying the bills.

" BEN: Mom's right, nothing good can happen when you sit down to pay the bills.

I was trying to make sure I wasn't around to hear you say any of those words you always say on bill-paying day that I'm not supposed to hear.

-Hi, Ben.

What's--? -Shh! It's bill-paying day.

JASON: Carol, $55 for a hair styling from Blood Sweat & Shears? Come on.

-How'd he know I was home? -I know, it's weird.

-Carol, $55? -Well, Mom knew about it.

She said I should go ahead and get it done because I'm blossoming.

Well, stop.

Ben, please explain to your sister how you can have a rich and full life on four bucks a week? You talking to me? -Hey, guys.

-And don't you go far, Mike.

-I'm gonna wanna talk to you.

-What'd I do? I haven't found it yet.

-What's going on? -It's bill-paying day.

JASON: Oh, I don't believe this one.

Halt.

Two hundred and sixteen dollars for a one-month phone bill? Is that high? Okay, Mike, 67 toll charges, all to the same number at $2 apiece.

Two dollars apiece? Shocking, isn't it, Ben? Why do you automatically assume it's me? Am I the only guy in this house who ever does anything wrong? -Oh, no.

-Oh, no.

Mike, I'm gonna call this number and I'll just bet you that a girl answers.

I'm sure of it.

Even a 10-year-old can see through you.

BEN: Uh-oh.

BEN: Anyway, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Oh, yeah.

Dad, you were dialing that phone number.

I was so scared.

All I could hope for was a busy signal.

Hello, this is-- It's a recording.

Sexual Fantasies? Yeah? Yeah, Mike.

Oh, how gross.

-Get in my office, we're gonna talk.

-Everyone should get in your office.

I didn't do anything.

Why don't you get in my office, then we'll all come in my office and we'll deduce who the culprit is.

This is so unfair.

BEN: She didn't know how unfair.

-Hi, honey, I'm home.

-Listen to this.

Um, Jason? One of our kids has been calling this number.

-What? BEN: Mom was a teeny bit upset.

-Yuck.

-Sixty-seven times in one month.

-Mike.

-Well, he denies it.

Oh, if he listened to this with Ben around, I'll-- I'm gonna have to be very calm and very rational about this.

Good idea.

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna buy Mike a new car.

-What? -Yeah.

I'm gonna make him look at it, take it away from him I'm gonna park it on the front lawn and let it rust.

All right, which one of you little weasels did this? Come on, Mike.

Save your outraged act for Mom and Dad.

Look, I'm telling you I didn't do it.

Oh, what, so now you're gonna try and blame little Ben? Oh, sure.

Right, Ben.

Well, it certainly wasn't me.

Well, it had to be somebody in this room.

Mike, just pretend you aren't you.

Now, using the process of elimination, who would you say the pervert is? Ben? Carol? Or Mike.

Well.

No, no, I don't wanna pretend that.

All I know is I didn't do it.

And I also know I didn't.

Hey, maybe a guy broke in and did it.

Sixty-seven times? All right, Mike, here's the deal.

Admit what you did and you only wait an extra year for your driver's license.

You confess later and you won't get it for as long as you live here.

Mom.

You have 30 seconds to make up your mind, Mike.

Now Mike was in trouble too.

Real trouble.

And it was all my fault.

I couldn't let this happen to him even if he always does treat me like a sleaze bucket.

So, what do you have to say, Mike? -Well, if those are my only two choices-- JASON: Mike.

-Okay, then, I did it.

-No, I did.

Benny.

-You? -I didn't know it was wrong.

Can you believe this little sleaze bucket? Ben, I don't care how much Mike is paying you to say it-- Hey! Nothing.

I did do it.

Honey, it's sweet that you wanna protect Mike but this is not the way to do it.