14. 185974 - Thank You, Willie Nelson (第2季)【完整台词】

[BELINDA CARLISLE'S "MAD ABOUT YOU" PLAYING ON STEREO] Mad about you Is this a pajama party or a funeral? A pajama party.

Come on, guys.

Mad about love Mad about you You and I Something 'bout you Right here beside me Touches the touched part of me Like I can't believe Pushing the night Into the daytime Watching the sky's first light While the city sleeps Mad about you Mad about you Lost in your eyes Mad about love Mad about you You and I Mad about you Mike? Mike? [BEN SCREAMS] MIKE: Shh! You scare me like that again, I'm gonna slug you.

Shh! Look, Ben, you said you were up to this caper, now if you're not-- I borrowed the snake from Stinky Sullivan, didn't I? I got it in the house, didn't I? I even got Mom and Dad to go for a walk.

I've done everything, you've done nothing.

Wrong.

Look, first, I'm the guy who thought of this plan.

And second, I let you help me.

All right? Now for the next step.

Do you remember what you say when I run there to rescue the girls? Yeah.

"Be careful, Mike, Cecil’s poisonous.

" No, no, Ben, Ben, you don't call the snake "Cecil.

" -All right? -That's his name.

Ben, it's supposed to be a wild snake.

Wild snakes don't have names.

How do you know? Ben.

You think snakes go around calling each other, "Hey, you"? Look, I don't care.

Let's get the plan straight, all right? JASON: The plan! What are you people trying to do to me? -What's going on? -Uh, nothing.

Oh, how long has nothing been going on? About 10 minutes.

You promised me that you wouldn't bother your sister's party.

Look, Mom, I give you my word.

I have not set foot in that house since you went out.

So you've been doing the dirty work? Cecil’s not dirty.

Cecil? [HORN HONKS] -Howdy, landlubbers.

MAGGIE: Hi, Dad.

BEN: Oh, it's Grandpa.

-Hey.

ED: Hey, Kate.

Come around and say hello to Maggie and all.

Yo.

BEN: Grandma.

MIKE: Hey, Grandma.

Ed, what's all this? Well, we just happened to be in the neighborhood and we thought we'd drop in.

You're 200 miles away from home.

No, we ain't, this is home.

The house has been sold.

What? You sold your--? [GIRLS SCREAMING] They found Cecil.

[SCREAMING] Whoa, whoa, easy now, ladies.

-What seems to be the problem? -Snake.

-Oh, no.

-It's probably in the sleeping bag, Mike.

They like warm places.

All right, let's stand back, everybody.

Ben, if I don't make it, call 911.

Nice touch.

Wait a minute, I smell a rat.

A rat? [SCREAMING] Don't worry, I'll get rid of it.

[GRUNTING] What's going on here--? What are you doing with Stinky Sullivan's snake? Yup, that's my brother.

Crazy and funny Mike.

[CHUCKLES] Would you guys please do something about Mike? He's embarrassing me beyond belief.

Yup, just life of the party Mike.

[CAROL LAUGHS] -Oh, Carol.

-Grandma.

Look how my little baby girl has grown up.

Why, have you started wearing a bra? My life is over.

Mike, Ben, in the kitchen now.

You were great, Cecil.

Mom, let's talk in the kitchen.

Well, at least you have a kitchen.

Don't worry about it, Shelley.

The snake is gone.

[STAMMERING] What about the rat? GIRL: A rat.

[SCREAMING] Now, Mike, we all agreed.

There's nobody in that living room tonight except Carol and her friends.

How come you're picking on just me? Because I'm sure little Ben is an innocent party to all of this.

[CHUCKLES] Ben and Mike, upstairs and in bed right now.

And take your reptile with you.

That way.

Okay, all right, but before we go let's just clear up exactly what this off-limits area includes.

Go.

Jeez.

So, Mom, this business of selling the house, what's going on? Uh, nothing I care to discuss right now.

Well, I was just going out to talk to Ed.

You know how Ed and I love to pal around.

-Ed.

-Where can I plug this? Well.

Anywhere, Daddy.

Uh, I was just coming out to see you, Ed.

Why? Daddy, he wants to see your trailer.

Maggie, that is not a trailer.

That is a 1987 Meanderer Deluxe.

-"The Vagabond's Dream--" -"The Vagabond's Dream Machine.

" [JASON CHUCKLES] -You know about that? -Oh, I've seen the ads.

Well, maybe you'd like to go outside and check it out.

Maybe you can help me turn it around.

Well, all right.

So, Mom, why on Earth did you sell your house? I blame it all on my cousin Effie.

-What did she do? -She died.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-I never liked her anyway.

Oh, but I did go to her funeral.

I was only gone three days.

When I came back, your father had sold the house without even consulting me and bought that monstrosity out there which he says we're gonna spend the rest of our days in.

-Well, that doesn't sound like Daddy.

-Oh, yes, it does.

He's been acting strangely ever since we went to Niagara Falls.

-When did you go to Niagara Falls? -On our honeymoon.

Mom, have you told Daddy how unhappy you are about all this? Oh, I've given him plenty of hints.

I sit still, staring straight ahead with a vacant look on my face.

Mom, you always have a vacant look on your face.