No, absolutely not.
Then I don't get to see the pictures of Stinky's mom before she got fat.
Ben, go to your room and don't come out until it's clean.
Mom, I'm gonna go to the schoolyard and shoot some hoops.
Okay.
Hoops? Mike, wait.
-No, my room's clean, Mom.
-No.
Clean clothes in the drawer, dirty in the hamper.
-Mike.
-What? That's not what I want to talk about.
You mean I did all that for nothing? -Mike, I wanna ask you a favor.
-What? Well, you see, after watching all those old movies last night well, your father started feeling old.
Well, he is.
I mean old as in out of it, over the hill.
Yeah.
Michael, please, I want you to help me make your father feel younger.
Is that so hard for you to understand? Now, Mom, how can he feel old when he's married to a young fox like you? Ohh.
Michael, would you please play a little basketball with your dad? And-- -Throw the game? -Well-- -Take a dive? -Yeah.
-And don't let him know about it? -Right.
Hey, no problem.
I'm an old hand at fooling Dad.
Oh, Dad.
Dad? Such a nice boy with such a foxy young mother.
[JASON GRUNTS] Hey, nice drive, Dad.
-Hey, what can I say? I'm good.
-Yeah.
Here we go.
MIKE: Whoa.
Oh! You are too quick today, Dad.
Yes.
You wouldn't by any chance be letting me win, would you? Letting you win? Are you kidding? Why would I do that? Well, for one thing, your mom doesn't like to admit she's wrong.
-Mom? -Uh-uh.
Now, why would she think that you feel old? -I mean, she doesn't think-- -I'm warning you, Mike.
Don't start patronizing your old ma-- Your father, okay? Because I can still keep up with you, you know.
Uh-huh.
-Yes.
-Yeah, right, Dad.
No, really.
Come on, take your best shot.
Come on, we'll see who's sucking wind at the end of this one, okay? -All right.
-Come on.
None of that hot dog stuff either.
-That's what we were-- -Real game.
Unless you're afraid to be humiliated.
I'll understand.
You gonna try out for the girls' team this year? -No, all right.
Let's go.
-Let's see what you're packing.
Come on.
[JASON GRUNTS] Okay, lucky shot.
Come on, Dad, that's 28.
I've had it.
Yeah.
All right, I'll let you off the hook this time.
Come on, Dad.
Only 25 more points and you're right back in it.
Come on, Ben.
Can't you see the man's tired? [PANTING] Ohh.
What's the matter? You're afraid I'm gonna catch up? I'm just getting my second wind.
All right, Dad.
Come on, you can do it.
-Shut him down.
-Yeah.
[JASON GROANS] Hey, come on, Dad.
Hey, Dad, you all right? I slipped on something right there.
Ow.
-What is it? -I turned my ankle.
Yeah, I knew we played too long.
Parents never listen.
No, look, I'm fine, all right? Just give me a minute.
I'll walk it off.
Look, Dad, I'm really bushed.
I couldn't play another second, all right? -Okay.
-All right, great.
I'm gonna go to school, get in a game.
See you later.
Dad, I think you're a radical player.
-Yeah, well, I know how to play.
-Especially for a guy your age.
Ow! Don't worry, Dad, I'll take care of you.
Ben, what are you doing here? I live here.
We're supposed to have Dad out of the house by now.
What do you want from me? The man had to go to the bathroom.
-Ben, where's your dad? -In the bathroom, I hope.
So, what do you think, Ben? I think this is gonna make him even more depressed.
Oh, no, Ben.
Once he starts playing rock 'n' roll, he's gonna feel like this again.
And that's good? You bet.
-Where do we stash this till the party? -In the kitchen.
-I'll have your father go out the front door.
-Okay.
[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get it.
I'm Dave Sacks from Party Animal Party Rentals.
-You're early.
-That's our policy.
-No.
-Yes, it is.
No, it's supposed to be a surprise for my dad and my dad is still here.
-Bummer.
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