16. 185817 - The Seavers vs. the Cleavers (第1季)【完整台词】

Yeah! Now, Jason, I want to talk to you about this shirt.

Now, if this is the proper image you wish to convey not only for yourself, but for the family you represent.

Okay, all right.

All right, it's a shame, though.

I was thinking of wearing this when your mom and I chaperone your school dance.

What? You're not really going to chaperone? Had you going there for a second, didn't I? - Put it there.

- Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

What's this? - What? - What? For the first time in your lives, you two agree on something.

That's better.

I thought you said you didn't care whether they chaperoned or not.

I don't.

Really.

Carol, you don't even go to these dances.

Well, I might go to this one.

I'm keeping my options open.

She just wants to go because that geek out on the front porch wants to go.

He's not a geek.

He's from Los Angeles.

You're breathing heavy for him, Carol.

I am not.

We were discussing nuclear weapons.

See? Perfectly harmless.

Carol, you're just afraid that if Mom and Dad chaperone you won't be able to wear makeup and go slow dancing and run off into the parking lot with that goon.

Michael! Parking lot? My little girl? Heavy breathing? Los Angeles? Don't listen to him, Dad.

You know, chaperoning is not all bad.

What? Dad, I'm not going to do anything.

Fine.

Then you can not do it with me there.

If you want to hit me, I won't stop you.

See? I knew it.

I can't wear this.

Chaperones are supposed to look stodgy and respectable.

Well, then why don't you wear this one? You think that dress is stodgy? This one? Stodgy? I'm kidding.

I love this dress.

It's my favorite dress.

I have dreams about this dress.

Okay.

Oh, sweetheart, I haven't had the chance to tell you how surprised and happy I was that you changed your mind and agreed to do this.

It shows real maturity.

Well, that's me.

Mature, yet curiously juvenile.

And, of course, the fact that Carol's going had nothing to do with it.

Carol who? It's okay.

It's okay.

I love you when you're hopelessly old-fashioned.

You realize this is exactly the sort of behavior we're supposed to prevent tomorrow night.

But this is tonight.

Isn't life crazy? I mean, I meet you for the first time yesterday and then I find out that we're on the same decorating committee.

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

My parents are chaperoning tonight.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

It came as quite a shock.

I can imagine.

My parents chaperoned once.

How was it? It was mortifying.

They Carol, they danced.

Oh, my God! My father started flailing his arms like some huge thrashing machine.

My mother, she kind of hopped and clapped and yelled "Hey" in time to the music.

What a nightmare.

Ward? Mrs.

Hinckley.

You've done our school proud, as usual.

Thank you, Ward.

If all the ladies in the Parents Association were like you it would sure change my life.

Thank you.

We loved your chaperone letter.

It really did the trick.

Wonderful.

Who is chaperoning tonight? The Seavers.

Ward? Yes? I don't know.

Maybe it's okay for a man to run a psychiatric practice out of the home and maybe it's all right for a woman to go back to work just when her children need her most.

And maybe letting our offspring run wild is hunky-dory.

And maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Could be.

Ward.

Ward, I'm worried about the Seavers.

I mean, the type of people we need for chaperones should be able to control their own children.

Wow, that's a pretty high standard.

Boy, your parents sound worse than mine.

- Hi, honey.

- Hi.

You're home early.

Slow news day.

Oh, well then the lord and lady of the manor have the castle all to themselves.

Hey, guys, how you doing? I'll get that.

That does it, I quit the play.

Ben, you're not going to be a rock after all? No way.

Friar Tuck sits on me all through Act 2.

Well, that's okay then, we can chaperone another time.

Well, thank you for calling, Mrs.

Hitler Hinckley.

All right.

Bye.

- You mean we aren't chaperoning? - No.

Somebody pinch me.

I'm dreaming.

This is great.

No, it's not.