15. 185815 - Slice of Life II (第1季)【完整台词】

I can bathe him, I can burp him, I can change him.

I'll guide his destiny.

This is my chance.

This is my chance to recapture all the things I've missed with the other kids.

- Like their crying all day long? - I'll wear earplugs.

- Like tons of dirty diapers? - I'll wear nose plugs.

Maggie, if you're gonna have a negative attitude about this it's a good thing I'm raising this kid.

Well, if that's the way you feel about it, have your own darn baby.

I could if I wanted to.

Maggie I want to have your baby.

Oh, Jason, that's sweet.

Baby, baby, baby, baby Hi, Carol.

- How's it going? - Fine.

How are things with you? Carol, you gotta come back.

I can't make it alone on my budget.

Hey, you've got just as much money as I do.

I've got all 11 kids.

We live in a shack.

All we have to eat is fish food.

Richie, I think you're getting a little carried away here.

Hey, I think I'm entitled to get a little carried away for my $60.

What are you talking about? Well, that's what I had to pay to get you as a partner.

But, Richie, that's crazy.

I mean, that's a lot of money.

Money isn't everything, Carol.

I would've paid $600 for you, if that's what it took.

That's the sweetest and most borderline psychotic thing anyone's ever said to me.

Hey, that's just the kind of guy I am.

But I guess that's not good enough for you.

Look, Richie.

Maybe we can arrange a simulated trial reconciliation until Monday.

Carol, welcome home.

Wait till I tell the kids.

Your Rambo doll clothes are ready, your most exalted Ben.

Oh, Michael, we are not pleased.

Rambo's crease here looks terrible.

How's the man supposed to defend our country in wrinkled pants? Oh, my cookies are ready, Michael.

And I like them hot.

Right.

Channel 7, Mike.

My cookies, Michael.

I could swear I smell them burning.

Right.

The phone, Michael.

Seaver residence.

Home of the Royal Ben Jennifer, hi.

Jennifer? I said, no personal calls.

Ben, that was Wonderbuns.

Hello, Wonderbuns? Big Ben here.

Mike is not available Mike, what do you think you're doing? - I'm revolting.

- No argument there, Mike.

- Why, you little - I'm gonna tell Dad you broke the window.

Well, I'm gonna tell Dad you're a blackmailer, you little gangster.

Well, Dad's gonna ground you.

Well, Dad's gonna ground you and spank you.

Hold it right there, you two.

You boys look so cute, I gotta take your picture.

Hey, you remember when you guys were just little babies how we used to play Pat A Cake? - Yeah.

- That was big time fun.

What do you say we play a quick game right now? - Yeah, that's good.

- Lf I were you, I'd get in on this.

"Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker's man "Bake me a cake as fast as you can" Boys, you're both grounded until further notice, okay? Smile, come on.

Pat a cake, pat a cake.

- I'm finished.

- That's great, honey.

I knew you'd finish your paper today.

No, not my paper.

I couldn't concentrate on my paper.

- I have a list of baby names.

- Oh.

Here's my first choice.

This is distinctive, it's commanding it's noble.

It's Julius.

Julius Seaver? Not bad, huh? I got plenty more, just in case.

Just in case of what? Well, just in case he turned out to be a comedian.

Sid Seaver? And if he were an all-American, everyday kid.

- Beaver Seaver.

- Beaver Seaver.

Jason, what if he's a girl? Uh-oh.

I better get back to work.

Jason, I was thinking that if it's a girl, that we could name her Rebecca.

Rebecca Seaver.

That's pretty.

I like that.

- I hope she looks just like you.

- Me, too.

Because she'd look kind of silly with a hairy chest.

- That's him.

- Don't answer it.

We've both got to be on the phone at the same time.

I'll get the phone in the living room.

Hold on.

- Okay, hurry.

- Go.

Hello? Yes, Doctor.

Uh-huh.

I see.

Yes.

Well, thank you for calling, Doctor.

Well, I guess it's all for the best.